Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, April 12 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!   ______________________________________________________ Today, April 12 in 1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in the U.S. to use voting machines. 1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man to orbit the Earth. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Woman accused of being HIV positive charged with assault for biting Virginia Beach cop  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) "Iran is going to build an island just for women who want to go on vacation. No men will be allowed on the island. Which leads to the question, 'If something goes wrong, whose fault will it be?'" --- Jay Leno _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A tough old Texas cowboy counseled his grandson, "The secret of living a long life is to eat oatmeal every morning with a pinch of gunpowder sprinkled on it." The grandson followed his grandfather's advice religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103. When he died he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great-great grandchildren...and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be. ______________________________________________________` From Debs:   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Natasha Davis-Wiggins, Virginia Beach, Virginia  Woman accused of being HIV positive charged with assault for biting Virginia Beach cop  A North Carolina woman is behind bars for allegedly assaulting a police officer. The incident began when police were called to Alibis Bar and Grill on Holland Road on On March 23rd after an intoxicated woman fell and needed medical assistance. Once there, officers found two intoxicated women. The injured woman was taken to the hospital and her friend, 47-year-old Natasha Davis-Wiggins, was arrested for public intoxication. During the arrest she became belligerent and combative, search warrants stated. She's accused of biting an officer on the left forearm, breaking the skin and drawing blood. During the assault, she sustained a cut on her forehead. The search warrant revealed Davis-Wiggins is reportedly HIV positive. According to court documents, detectives have requested her medical records to prove she knew she was HIV positive prior to assaulting the officer. She's charged with assault on police officer, public intoxication, refuse ID to police, obstructing justice and malicious assault. Davis-Wiggins declined to speak with reporters. She is due back in court next month.  
 From: Tam Re:Connecting in motels and hotels  Dear DearWebby hello, as always thank you for the humor, always love it. I have a question about my daughters laptop, how does that work at most motels? I am not sure if the one we are going to is wireless or not. If yes, then should pick up signal and be able to use the net correct? If it doesnt have wireless, do I need to get internet provider to be able to use it? This wireless stuff is all new to me. thanks for the help Tam  Dear Tam When I prepare for a trip, I book all hotels and motels over the Internet. When you select a hotel and check up on it, you see if they have high speed Internet. They always mention it, if they got it. As a rule of thumb, 4* and 5* always have wireless high speed, 3* sometimes has wireless, sometimes just data ports. (Dial-Up) 2 star has a charge per call or directions to a pay-phone. Personally, if they don't have high speed Internet, then they are not good enough for me. There usually is a satisfactory hotel or motel a block further. The better hotels have a card with log-on instructions and the password on the table or glued onto the power bar. If they don't, call the front desk and ask for it. When your wireless finds the signal, or when you plug in a network cable, and THEN open a browser, (-don't open one before that! -), the browser will be hijacked to the log-on page. Once you are logged in, you get control of the browser back and can do anything you can do at home. If a hotel or motel does not hve high sped Internet, then you have to use dial-up to an account that you already have. I have an Earthlink dial-up account, just in case some disaster strands me between towns, that have High Speed Internet. That has been my traveling account for about 20 years now. It comes in handy at least once or twice a year, when the DSL in some hotel malfunctions or is overloaded. No problem, I just dial up via Earthlink and send the Humor Letter out that way. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometrie." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head. "This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree." 
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 Thanks to Sandie for this one: Woman to her fiancee: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden." "That's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles." "That's because we aren't married yet!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Reinforcing Paper Plates A frisbee will add support to paper plates when the plate is place inside the frisbee. Of course, after you are all done eating, you can always play with it! Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
I have this thing about topiaries, I love them! 
 ___________________________________________________ A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any papers!" ___________________________________________________ The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Ben got up to read his. "The neighbor fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Krup, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Ben. "He stopped yelling yesterday." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It's very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons." ___________________________________________________  
 Today April 12 in 1096 Peter the Hermit gathered his army in Cologne. 1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople. 1606 England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag. 1782 The British navy won its only naval engagement against the colonists in the American Revolution at the Battle of Saints, off Dominica. 1799 Phineas Pratt patented the comb cutting machine. 1811 The first colonists arrived at Cape Disappointment, Washington. 1833 Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe. 1861 Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting America's Civil War. 1864 Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest captured Fort Pillow, in Tennessee and slaughters the black Union troops there. 1877 A catcher's mask was used in a baseball game for the first time by James Alexander Tyng. 1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in the U.S. to use voting machines. 1905 The Hippodrome opened in New York City. 1911 Pierre Prier completed the first non-stop London-Paris flight in three hours and 56 minutes. 1916 American cavalrymen and Mexican bandit troops clashed at Parrel, Mexico. 1927 The British Cabinet came out in favor of women voting rights. 1938 The first U.S. law requiring a medical test for a marriage license was enacted in New York. 1944 The U.S. Twentieth Air Force was activated to begin the strategic bombing of Japan. 1945 In New York, the organization of the first eye bank, the Eye Bank for Sight Restoration, was announced. 1945 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt died in Warm Spring, GA. He died of a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 63. Harry S Truman became president. 1955 The University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk was "safe, effective and potent." 1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man to orbit the Earth. 1982 The British Navy began enforcing a blockade around the Falkland Islands. 1983 Harold Washington was elected the first black mayor of Chicago. 1984 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Challenger made the first satellite repair in orbit by returning the Solar Max satellite to space. 1984 Israeli troops stormed a bus that had been hijacked the previous evening by four Arab terrorists. All the passengers were rescued and 2 of the hijackers were killed. 1985 In Spain, an explosion in a restaurant near a U.S. base killed 17 people. 1985 Federal inspectors declared that four animals of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus were not unicorns. They were goats with horns that had been surgically implanted. 1987 Texaco filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy after it failed to settle a legal dispute with Pennzoil Co. 1988 Harvard University won a patent for a genetically altered mouse. It was the first patent for a life form. 1988 The Chinese government named a new array of younger leaders to ensure economic reform. 1989 In the U.S.S.R, ration cards were issued for the first time since World War II. The ration was prompted by a sugar shortage. 1992 Disneyland Paris opened in Marne-La-Vallee, France. 1993 NATO began enforcing a no-fly zone over Bosnia and Herzegovina. 2000 More than 1,500 anti-drug agents raided four cities in Colombia and arrested 46 members of the "most powerful" heroin ring. 2000 Robert Cleaves, 71, was convicted of second degree murder and was sentenced to 16 years in prison. Cleaves had repeatedly run over Arnold Guerreiro on September 30, 1998 with his car after the two had an argument. 2000 Israel's High Court ordered the release of eight Lebanese detainees that had been held for years without a trial. 2002 A first edition version of Beatrix Potter's "Peter Rabbit" sold for $64,780 at Sotheby's. A signed first edition of J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" sold for $66,630. A copy of "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone," signed by J.K. Rowling sold for $16,660. A 250-piece collection of rare works by Charles Dickens sold for $512,650. 2002 It was announced that the South African version of "Sesame Street" would be introducing a character that was HIV-positive. 2002 JCPenney Chairman Allen Questrom rang the opening bell to start the business day at the New York Stock Exchange as part of the company's centennial celebrations. James Cash (J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store on April 14, 1902. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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