Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 11 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Driver arrested for deadly hit-and-run of bicyclist ___________________________________________________ Today, June 11 in 1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The eruption of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60 miles. It produced more CO2 in 3 days than the entire humanity had produced since the stone age. ____________________________________________________ Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. --- Ethel Mumford To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. --- Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880) ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife." ____________________________________________________ John Fisher ____________________________________________________ A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and unplugs the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dummy named you Moses?" "The same dummy who called his rottweiler Jesus." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Pereira, 48, Chandler, Arizona, USA Driver arrested for deadly hit-and-run of bicyclist The Chandler Police Department has taken a driver into custody in connection to the deadly hit-and-run of a bicyclist early Wednesday morning. According to police, officers responded to Alma School and Galveston Roads at 2:30 a.m. for reports of a bicyclist down in the roadway. The victim, identified as 40-year-old Joseph Kowalczyk, was transported to a hospital and pronounced dead. Investigators say the vehicle hit the bicyclist, failed to stop, and drove away heading northbound on Alma School. Police able to locate the suspect, 48-year-old Ryan Pereira, after investigators determined that car parts left at the scene of the crash belonged to a Dodge truck. After an extensive search, police found a white Dodge Ram with damage on its front end at an apartment complex near Ray and Alma School roads, just one mile from where the collision occurred. "Evidence on the Dodge Ram, including bicycle paint and clothing, was found in the truck's front end linking it to the hit and run accident," officials said. Pereira was identified as the owner of the truck and was booked into Maricopa County Jail. He now faces charges relating to accidents involving death and failure to stop. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: All RE: Got Fiber After all the hype and bullshit and lies about "rotting copper", They have now connected me to fiber, with good and reliable copper, that will outlast the fiber by a thousand years. Or more. They managed to give me the same speed as I had on straight copper DSL. The DNS in Calgary, the Internet Road Map, that they screwed up on May 31 at 10 am, to badger and bludgen me to agree to fiber, is still screwed up. However, I am able to get to most sites. Have FUN! Dear Webby Dear Do! I am on fiber now. Things should settle down now, I hope. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check up, the doctor called his wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be reasonably pleasant and try to get him into a good mood. For lunch, fix him something hot. For dinner, prepare something hot and fairly nutritious. For a while, don't burden him too much with unnecessary chores. Try not to discuss your stress about the house work and the soap operas too much when he is worrying about the family business, that would just make him feel worse. And most importantly, you must be intimate with your husband at least one day of every week. If you can do this for at least 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say to you?" "You're gonna die." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ (This one you have to read out loud) "Information? I need the number for Caseway Trasnport." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor." ___________________________________________ Just saw a headline on the news ticker: "Scientists say English Foot and Mouth out of control" hmmm, I know some Irish who have been saying that for years! ____________________________________________ The basketball coach stormed into the University President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with, the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Three minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the University President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, June 11, in 1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany. 1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives, Catherine of Aragon. 1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef off of Australia when he ran aground. 1776 In America, the Continental Congress formed a committee to draft a Declaration of Independence from Britain. 1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent granted to an American inventor for a gasoline-driven automobile. Gasoline powered cars were in use in Europe, but not patented in the US. 1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take off from the roof of a hotel. 1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first Distinguished Flying Cross. 1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426 feet off the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber called a bathysphere. 1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in failure. 1936 The Presbyterian Church of America was formed in Philadelphia, PA. 1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of Red Army generals. 1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at Malta in the Mediterranean. 1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease agreement to aid the Soviets in their effort in World War II. The Soviet Union was dissolved before the Lend-Lease was paid back. 1943 During World War II, the Italian island of Pantelleria surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar rationing. 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida for trying to integrate restaurants. 1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black students to enroll at the University of Alabama. 1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State of Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle. 1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came to an end when Dutch marines stormed a train and a school being held by South Moluccan extremists. Two hostages and the six terrorists were killed. 1981 The first major league baseball player's strike began. It would last for two months. 1982 Steven Spielberg's movie "E.T." opened. 1987 Margaret Thatcher became the first British prime minister in 160 years to win a third consecutive term of office. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The eruption of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60 miles. It produced more CO2 in 4 days than the entire humanity had produced since the stone age. 1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people who commit "hate crimes" could be sentenced to extra punishment. The court also ruled in favor of religious groups saying that they indeed had a constitutional right to sacrifice animals during worship services. 1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to end the largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S. government. The federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of women at a plant in Normal, IL, had endured groping and crude jokes from male workers. 1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and offered to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the first time it was held in Africa. 2021 Do smiled. |
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