Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, June 11 Thank you, Nancy!!! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Northern Irish man, 29, punched two-year-old toddler girl in the face leaving her with brain injuries just so he could watch X Factor in peace. Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 11 in 1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef off of Australia when he ran aground. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Children are all foreigners. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit. --- Sir Frederick G. Banting (1891 - 1941) Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else. --- James Thorpe Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. --- Barry LePatner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this." "Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began. "Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day." And the neighbor said, "Well, in that case, you won't be using your golf clubs. Mind if I borrow them?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ After deciding that their frail, elderly mother can no longer live alone, a family brings her to a nursing home, hoping she'll be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe the old woman, feed her a tasty breakfast, and sit her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems fine, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems fine, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darren Fagan, 29, Portadown, Co Armagh, Northern Ireland Northern Irish man, 29, punched two-year-old toddler girl in the face leaving her with brain injuries just so he could watch X Factor in peace. A THUG who punched a two-year-old girl in the face so he could watch the X Factor in peace was today jailed for a total of 13 and a half years. Darren Fagan's sickening attack left the toddler with "life- changing" brain injuries, Belfast Crown Court heard. The court was told how Fagan, 29, confessed to a probation officer he "punched the child to her head as she would not stop crying" while he was trying to enjoy the TV talent show with his partner the child's mother. The judge heard at the time of the assault on October 19, 2014, the young victim was aged two years and four months. At that point, her mother, who was separated from the child's father, had met Fagan about "eight to 10 times". After the child was put to bed in her home in Bessbrook, Co Armagh, Northern Ireland she became unsettled prompting the mother to go and check on her. Deciding to fetch her some medicine from the kitchen she said she noticed that Fagan was no longer in the living room. As she went upstairs, the mother alleged that her daughter "stopped crying" and she heard a "sudden noise like a thud". A prosecution barrister told the court: "She says that within three seconds of hearing the thud she was in the room and saw the defendant standing up, crouched over her daughter's bed. "She noticed a large lump on the left side of her head." The barrister added: "She shouted at him: 'Oh my God, you've hit her!' "And the defendant replied: "No, it's not what it looks like." Doctors discovered that the toddler had sustained severe head injuries, including multiple fractures and a brain haemorrhage. A judge at Belfast Crown Court branded his claim the child had struck her head when her mother fell carrying her down the stairs as "cowardly, vindictive and shameful". The court heard that Fagan, formerly of Portadown, Co Armagh had an "extensive criminal record" including convictions for violence. One of those convictions was for assaulting the 20-month-old child of a previous partner. Fagan pleaded guilty to a single charge of causing grievous bodily harm with intent. A charge of attempted murder was left on file. He was also handed an extended custodial sentence of three years "for the protection of the public". ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Amanda Re: Wireless Network Dear Webby, We had to move because of the flood and will be in a rented house for some time. We need to connect a home network for my two girls and one for hubby and one for me. It's an older house and there is no cabling like we have in our house. What do you suggest? Thanks Amanda Dear Amanda Getting cabling installed could be very expensive. Your best bet is to get a wireless router, if your router does not have those telltale little antennas on it. Most computers nowadays have wireless capability. If yours doesn't, get a USB wireless Network card for the machines that don't have wireless. After that, it's just a matter of clicking on the network icon in the bottom right corner, and stepping through the setup. It's not difficult, but depending on your ISP, can be a bit tedious. If necessary, call your ISP's support, and they will step you through the setup. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Dianne for this story: On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver. "Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don't work, and your tires all completely worn out. This is going to cost you a lot. What's your name?" "Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic." "Well, I'll let you go this time, but don't do it again!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Wasp Repellent By Jill Kayser [1 Post] Wasps seem to hate warm soapy water. I attached a sprayer to my hose with simple dish soap in it. I applied some several times during the day and have successfully deterred a large nest that was visible and inside my covered porch structure. I have animals and plants and was reluctant to use a bunch of wasp spray. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. "It is really none of my business," whispered Mrs. Smith, "but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?" "Why, no. Is she up to anything special?" Mrs. Smith leaned closer. "Haven't you noticed? She has started knitting tiny garments!" Mrs. Jones' troubled brow cleared. "Well, thank goodness," she said smiling, "at last she has taken an interest in something besides running around with boys." ___________________________________________________ | | Unbelievable places that really exist. |
During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future. One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a slightly out-of-shape kindergarten teacher. "I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout in less than an hour," she said. | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. "It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..." "This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my sister will appreciate it." "Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on June 11, in 1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany. 1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives, Catherine of Aragon. 1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef off of Australia when he ran aground. 1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent granted to an American inventor for a gasoline-driven automobile. 1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take off from the roof of a hotel. 1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first Distinguished Flying Cross. 1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426 feet off the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber called a bathysphere. 1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in failure. 1936 The Presbyterian Church of America was formed in Philadelphia, PA. 1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of Red Army generals. 1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at Malta in the Mediterranean. 1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease agreement to aid the Soviets in their effort in World War II. 1943 During World War II, the Italian island of Pantelleria surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar rationing. 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida for trying to integrate restaurants. 1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black students to enroll at the University of Alabama. 1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State of Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle. 1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came to an end when Dutch marines stormed a train and a school being held by South Moluccan extremist. Two hostages and the six terrorists were killed. 1982 Steven Spielberg's movie "E.T." opened. 1987 Margaret Thatcher became the first British prime minister in 160 years to win a third consecutive term of office. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The eruption of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60 miles. 1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people who commit "hate crimes" could be sentenced to extra punishment. The court also ruled in favor of religious groups saying that they indeed had a constitutional right to sacrifice animals during worship services. 1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to end the largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S. government. The federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of women at a plant in Normal, IL, had endured groping and crude jokes from male workers. 1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and offered to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the first time it was held in Africa. 2017 Do smiled. |
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