Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 23 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 23 in 1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial battle with the Japanese. ______________________________________________________ Computer dating is fine, if youre a computer. --- Rita Mae Brown To be successful, you've got to be willing to fail. --- Ronald Reagan ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Police Find Maserati Filled With Whip-Its __________________________________________ A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks." __________________________________________ __________________________________________ Is Windows a virus? No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. 2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. 3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too. 4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too. 5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, Windows does that, too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Police Find Maserati Filled With Whip-Its Ziyuan Zhong, 22, Iowa City, Iowa, A 22-year-old Iowa woman was driving a Maserati littered with several hundred spent canisters of nitrous oxide when the vehicle was pulled over by police late Monday evening, according to court filings. When a computer check revealed that the registered owner of the 2014 luxury coupe had a driving status of Barred, Iowa City cops approached the vehicle after it pulled into a Kum & Go gas station around 10:45 PM. Behind the Maseratis wheel was Ziyuan Zhong, who appeared under the influence. Seen at right, Zhong, cops reported, had bloodshot, watery eyes, dilated pupils, impaired speech, and impaired balance. The source of Zhongs impairment apparently was scattered about the auto: There were several hundred spent 'Whip- It' brand Nitrous Oxide canisters, Officer Jeff Reinhard noted. Police also found three dispensers that are used with the canisters (which can be purchased in bulk for about 50 cents each). Zhong, who was alone in the Maserati, said the car was owned by a friend. While a breath test reflected no alcohol in Zhongs system, she showed measurable impairment during a series of field sobriety tests. Following a drug influence evaluation, police concluded that the Iowa City resident was under the influence of an inhalant. Zhong reportedly admitted to having used 50-75 canisters earlier that day, and that she typically uses upwards of 200 canisters per week. Cops reported that Zhong said she used the nitrous oxide because it makes her feel good. Zhong was arrested on multiple charges, including driving under the influence, possession of a fake ID, and possession of nitrous oxide. She was booked into the Johnson County jail, where she is being held without bond. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jean Re: Networking W7 to W10 Dear Webby I am trying to network my W7 laptop to my hubby's new W10 desktop. That does not work like the home group between W7 machines used to work. Is microslop sabotaging W7? What is the way around that? Jean Dear Jean Yes, Microsoft-Dell-Acer-HP is indeed playing hardball. They want you to throw out perfectly good W7 machines and buy new W10 machines to keep employment in Asia up. So far I don't know a way around that hostile sabotage. Eventually some companies will build a detour around that, but so far I have not found one, that works. When I do find a way, I will definitely write about it here! Hopefully one of the subscribers will know more. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ * When his ...38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked. [saved the justice system millions of dollars!] * Laborer Alexander Robinson of Mobile, Alabama, redefined the limits of tactlessness when he opened his eyes after surgery to restore his sight and said agreeably to his wife: 'Boy, you sure have got fat in four years' [He has his sight back...but now he is missing other things!] * When his ...38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked. [saved the justice system millions of dollars!] * Laborer Alexander Robinson of Mobile, Alabama, redefined the limits of tactlessness when he opened his eyes after surgery to restore his sight and said agreeably to his wife: 'Boy, you sure have got fat in four years' [He has his sight back...but now he is missing other things!] * A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather coconuts from trees demonstrated a pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt onto the shoulders of a passer-by in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist his head off. The man was treated at a local hospital for a sprained neck. [consider himself lucky that the monkey wasn't trained to retrieve walnuts!] * Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having a last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their health. [Oh this makes sense! Who was the genius that thought this up?] _____________________________________________ My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?" "At the store," she answered. "Which one?" I asked. She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!" ____________________________________________ When the doctor had completed the exhaustive examination, he told Becky to meet him back in his office when she had finished dressing. From behind his desk, the doctor said, "Well, I can't find any physiological reason for your problem, but I suspect it's due to drinking." "I'll bet you're right," replied Becky. "And, you know what? I think it's utterly shameful!" "Now, now," said the doctor. "Millions of people have a problem with alcohol. It's nothing to be ashamed of." "It certainly is!" Becky huffed, as she picked up her purse and stood to leave. Pausing in the doorway, she shook her head sadly at the doctor and said, "I'll come back when you're sober." ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 23 in 1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded in Waltham, MA. 1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 1861 U.S. President-elect Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly in Washington to take his office after an assassination attempt in Baltimore. 1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." More widely known as lawn tennis. 1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an antitrust law. 1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake that killed about 2,000. 1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa between the Boers and the British army. 1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for $10 million. 1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial $1 gold coin. 1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, hours of operation and power allocations for radio broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial battle with the Japanese. 1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio began in Pittsburgh, PA. 1955 The French government was formed by Edgar Faure. 1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped by Cuban rebels. 1963 The 24th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It prohibited poll taxes in federal elections. 1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 1970 Guyana became a republic. 1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on February 4th. 1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of Iraqi forces. 1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more before killing himself. 1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the Kurdish rebel leader. 1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200 feet over an oncoming train. 2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified. 2020 Do smiled. |
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