Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, August 16 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  _____________________________________________________ Today, August 16 in  1923 Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight-hour workday for its employees. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Driver Arrested For Running Over Ducklings  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) _______________________________________________ >From Ted Last Wednesday night I was sitting in my room watching television, when the phone rang. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around ten." There was a confused silence on the other end. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. So I replied, "Yes, it is. D'you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at ten." A shocked voice now, "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded, "Who the hell is Jennifer?!" Apparently she wasn't. "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at ten. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called and that she's very upset and that I want him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this." *CLICK* ________________________________________________` Thanks to Trish for this picture:   NZ Kea _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  James Clairmont, 56, Largo, Florida  Driver Arrested For Running Over Ducklings  A Florida Man intentionally drove his truck over a group of ducklings that were playing in a shallow puddle in the middle of a road inside the mobile home park where the suspect resides, cops allege. According to an arrest affidavit, witnesses told police that James Clairmont, 56, was behind the wheel of a Ford truck early Sunday evening when the vehicle approached a group of 11 ducklings that were in the middle of the road with a mother duck. After slowing down for a speed bump, witnesses saw Clairmont then quickly accelerate towards the ducklings intentionally, cops report. As witnesses screamed for him to stop his vehicle, Clairmont allegedly ran over three of the ducklings and fled the area to his home which is one street away from the scene. Two ducklings passed away at the scene, while a third was taken to an animal hospital for treatment of broken bones. When a Largo Police Department officer subsequently contacted Clairmont, he denied there ever being ducklings in the roadway. But Clairmont, a cop noted, was unable to explain why I observed blood and duck feathers on the wheels of his truck. Clairmont, who was confronted by police two hours after the incident, appeared to be highly intoxicated when questioned at his residence in the Whispering Pines mobile home park. Pictured above, Clairmont was arrested for aggravated animal cruelty, a felony. He was released from the county jail yesterday afternoon upon posting $5000 bond. Clairmont, who works for a swimming pool contractor, has previously been convicted of domestic battery, marijuana possession, violating probation, and possession of drug paraphernalia. His rap sheet also includes convictions for an array of vehicular charges, including driving without a license, leaving the scene of an accident, driving without insurance, and driving while in possession of an open container of alcohol.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Stormy O Re: Computer recommendation  Dear Webby, I'm giving my Toshiba lap top to my son. What would 'you' recommend for someone who loves to download everything, save up "stuff' and writes? Any help here would be appreciated! The computer store here says they can build one for me, keeping in mind what I want it for. They start at about $1,1000. I am on a diet concerning income, so have to be really sure of what I buy. Thanks, have a super day, stormy  Dear Stormy I have heard about the computer stores in your town. Forget them. Get yourself the cheapest DELL. and increase the RAM about $50 more. And that's it! Anything else is just for bragging on the school bus, but won't make any difference, that you would notice with what you use the machine for. If you have a budget to kill, add a nice, big monitor. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another. "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another went on. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he shook his head. Then there was a short moment of silence... "Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank goodness we can still drive!" 
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 While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit per- fectly around his neck." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Shop for Gifts at the Dollar Store This year when gift shopping, consider buying gifts as well as decorative items from your local dollar store. I went into our dollar store yesterday and was very pleasantly surprised at the amount of decorative items as well as gift items available - and at such a reasonable price! thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________   
  
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 ___________________________________________________ A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!" ___________________________________________________ An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you," he said, "I've been lost for three days." "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks." ___________________________________________________ Judi strolled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said coyly, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Judi, "I have been having a funny pain right here above the heart . . ." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Judi, but I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oooh," said Judi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, August 16 in 1777 During the American Revolutionary War, the Battle of Bennington took place. New England's minutemen routed the British regulars. 1812 Detroit fell to Indian and British troops in the War of 1812. 1829 The "Siamese twins," Chang and Eng Bunker, arrived in Boston, MA. They had come to the Western world to be exhibited. They were 18 years old and joined at the waist. 1842 In New York City, the U.S. government took over operations of the City Despatch Post. This was the first congressionally authorized local postage delivery. 1858 A telegraphed message from Britain's Queen Victoria to U.S. President Buchanan was transmitted over the recently laid trans- Atlantic cable. 1861 U.S. President Lincoln prohibited the Union states from trading with the states of the Confederacy. 1923 Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight-hour workday for its employees. 1930 The first British Empire Games were held at Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The event is now called the British Commonwealth Games. 1937 Harvard University became the first school to have graduate courses in traffic engineering and administration. 1954 Sports Illustrated was published for the first time. It was claimed that 250,000 subscriptions had been sold before the first issue came off of the presses. 1960 Cyprus was granted independence by Britain. 1960 The free-fall world record was set by Joseph Kittinger. He fell more than 16 miles (about 84,000 feet) before opening his parachute over New Mexico. 1978 Xerox was fined for excluding Smith-Corona Mfg. from the copier market. The fine was $25.6 million. 1984 The U.S. Jaycees voted to admit women to full membership in the organization. 1995 Voters in Bermuda rejected independence from Great Britain. 1999 In Russia, Vladimir V. Putin was confirmed as prime minister by the lower house of parliament. 2019 Do smiled.