Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, February 22 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man charged with murder after accidentally texting detective Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, February 22 in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An old guy went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down." ______________________________________________________ A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone, telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free drinks. He orders his drink, and when he's finished with it, the bartender gives him his tab. The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!" The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten." The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened, so the pastor goes in next. The pastor orders his drink and then informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender asks him for the money. Again the bartender apologizes. Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink. Again the bartender gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink." "I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this to." "I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,... Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my way...!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Schlegel's Asity, Madagascar. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for this story: Two neighbors appeared in court, each woman accusing the other of causing trouble in their building. "Let's get to the evidence," the judge said in an effort to end their bickering. "I'll hear the oldest woman first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David W. Romig, 52 Dunnellon, Florida Florida man charged with murder after accidentally texting detective A Florida man is charged with murder after telling authorities he meant to text his wife about the death of his live-in girlfriend, but nervously messaged a detective instead. Marion County Sheriff's officials arrested 52-year-old David W. Romig on Tuesday. Investigators said he staged the crime scene to make it look like an intruder entered the Dunnellon home on Jan. 30 and killed 64-year-old Sally Kaufmann-Ruff. The Ocala Star-Banner reports detectives found evidence that didn't match Romig's story about the home invasion. Then, he sent two text messages saying he thought he was going to be arrested. Romig is being held without bond. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Computer keeps shutting down Dear Webby, I "inherited" this super high preformance computer from my son. It keept shutting down on him right in the middle of games and he got disgusted with it. I tried it, just here on the table before putting it under my desk, and it seems to work OK for me. Is there anything I should do before I switch it out with my old clunker? Thanks Fran Dear Fran Open up the side panel and vacuum it out. If you see any heat sinks, clean them with q-tips and windex. If you can remove the shroud over the CPU fan, clean under that too. After putting it back together, don't put that machine into a desk hutch or confined space. Insted of putting it right on the floor, set it on a couple of bricks or wooden blocks. Give it lots of air. It will probably be fine for many years, as long as you clean it out once a year and give it plenty of air. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment. I'm sorry, said the receptionist, we can't fit you in for at least two weeks. But I could be dead by then! No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment and you won't be charged. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a thousandths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, that it is kosher." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Today's Entres and Tomorrow's Sandwiches Incorporate sandwiches into your weekly menu and one night's entre can become tomorrow night's sandwiches. For example, have meat loaf one night and meat loaf sandwiches the next night. Some other ideas: Spaghetti and Meatballs and then meatball sandwiches. Turkey and then leftover hot turkey sandwiches with gravy. Roast beef and then french dip. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she asked her father what it meant. He explained that being frugal meant you saved something. Her paper read: "Frugal: to save." Sentence: "Maid Marion fell into a pit when she went walking in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out. She yelled 'Frugal me, Frugal me!'" One day, a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. "How did I get here, Mommy?" she asks. Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "Why, God sent you, honey." "And did God send you too, Mommy?" she continues. "Yes, sweetheart, he did." "And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads, too?" "Yes, honey, all of them, too." The child shakes her head in disbelief. "Then you're telling me there's been no sex in this family for over 200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, February 22, in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New York City for the Far East. 1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1855 The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for continuance of the work on the Washington Monument. The next morning the resolution was tabled and it would be 21 years before the Congress would vote on funds again. Work was continued by the Know-Nothing Party in charge of the project. 1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution that abolished slavery. 1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 5 and 10-cent store. 1885 The Washington Monument was officially dedicated in Washington, DC. It opened to the public in 1889. 1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit opened in Emeryville, CA. 1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish liaison offices. 1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with an increase in population of 19.2 percent. 1994 The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and his wife with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. Ames was later convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife received a 5-year prison term. 1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 2002 In the Philippines, An MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 2010 A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1 million. The comic featured the introduction of Superman. 2010 Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming company Vudu, Inc. 2018 Do smiled. |
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