Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, August 5 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Passenger duck taped to seat after groping flight attendants ___________________________________________________ Today, August 5 in 1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking air traffic controllers. ____________________________________________________ The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. --- Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005) Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) (That was my motto until 1970) ____________________________________________________ Joe, John and Bob were moving furniture. While Joe and John were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe. Joe noticed that Bob was nowhere in sight. "John, where's Bob?" asked Joe. "He should be helping us with this thing." "He is helping," said John, "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!" ____________________________________________________ Tooth Fairy ? ____________________________________________________ The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat treehuggers, and sweat gasoline." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Maxwell Berry, 22, Miami, Florida, USA Passenger duck taped to seat after groping flight attendants A man on a Frontier Airlines flight ended up being taped to his seat after a series of incidents including allegedly groping female flight attendants and punching a male flight attendant in the face. It happened on a July 31 flight from Philadelphia to Miami. Police say that Maxwell Berry, 22, was sitting in seat 28D and had ordered two alcoholic beverages from a flight attendant. When he finished his drinks he ordered another drink and allegedly brushed his empty cup up against the flight attendant's backside inappropriately. A police report stated that the flight attendant responded by saying, "don't touch me." Despite that, he was apparently served another drink. He then spilled his new drink on his shirt. He went to the bathroom and came out without a shirt on, the police report stated. The flight attendant told him to put on a shirt and helped him get a new shirt out of his carry-on bag. He then continued to walk around the plane for around 15 minutes, according to Miami-Dade police, and then began to "get friendly" with a second flight attendant and proceeded to grope her breasts. Another flight attendant told him to sit down and not touch her. The police report states that he "came up from behind and put his arms around both of them and groped their breasts again." He then allegedly punched a male flight attendant in the face. After passengers helped restrain him he was taped to a seat and tied down with a seatbelt extender. Other passengers cheered and laughed as he was restrained, according to videos posted to social media. He remained taped to the chair until the flight landed and he was arrested. Berry is charged with three counts of battery. WSVN in Miami received a statement from Frontier Airlines on the incident stating: "During a flight from Philadelphia to Miami on July 31, a passenger made inappropriate physical contact with two flight attendants and subsequently physically assaulted another flight attendant. As a result, the passenger needed to be restrained until the flight landed in Miami and law enforcement arrived. Frontier Airlines maintains the utmost value, respect, concern and support for all of our flight attendants, including those who were assaulted on this flight. We are supporting the needs of these team members and are working with law enforcement to fully support the prosecution of the passenger involved. The inflight crew members' current paid leave status is in line with an event of this nature pending an investigation." DearWebby's tech support pits From: Arlene Re: Collect Bonehead awards DearWebby I want to collect your bonehead awards and eventually publish a book with them. I WILL mention where I got them. My problem is how do I collect them? Arlene Dear Arlene First you have to start a new file with a word processor, like Open Office WRITE or Microsoft Office WORD. Then put the cursorat the top of a daily Bonehead award, hold down SHIFT, scroll to the end, Let go of SHIFT Hit CTRL C Jump over to you new document and put the cursor into it, Hit CTRL V to paste what you copied. Then do the same again tomorrow. Have FUN! DearWebby You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78." The man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 58 year old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I spent a lot of time in the great outdoors." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom!" ____________________________________________ A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ____________________________________________ Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him." So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?" The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand at the last moment, and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!" The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, Take your shovel and hit my hand." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 5, in 1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population was approximately 250. 1861 The U.S. federal government levied its first income tax. The tax was 3% of all incomes over $800. The wartime measure was rescinded in 1872. 1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Adm. David G. Farragut were led into Mobile Bay, Alabama. 1884 On Bedloe's Island in New York Harbor, the cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty was laid. 1914 The first electric traffic signal lights were installed in Cleveland, Ohio. 1921 The cartoon "On the Road to Moscow", by Rollin Kirby, was published in the "New York World". It was the first cartoon to win a Pulitzer Prize. 1923 Henry Sullivan became the first American to swim across the English Channel. 1924 In the New York "Daily News" debuted the comic strip "Little Orphan Annie," by Harold Gray. 1944 Polish insurgents liberated a German labor camp in Warsaw. 348 Jewish prisoners were freed. 1953 During the Korean conflict prisoners were exchanged at Panmunjom. The exchange was labeled Operation Big Switch. 1963 The Limited Test Ban Treaty was signed by the United States, Britain, and the Soviet Union. The treaty banned nuclear tests in space, underwater, and in the atmosphere. 1964 U.S. aircraft continued to bomb North Vietnam after North Vietnamese boats attacked U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. 1966 In New York, groundbreaking for the construction of the original World Trade Center began. 1969 The Mariner 7, a U.S. space probe, passed by Mars. Photographs and scientific data were sent back to Earth. 1974 U.S. President Nixon said that he expected to be impeached. Nixon had ordered the investigation into the Watergate break-in to halt. 1974 "Tank McNamara", the comic strip, premiered in 75 newspapers. 1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking air traffic controllers. 1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year period. 1989 In Honduras, five Central American presidents began meeting to discuss the timetable for the dismantling of the Nicaraguan Contra bases. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush angrily denounced the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. Bush told Sadam that he was going to get him. 1991 An investigation was formally launched by Democratic congressional leaders to find out if the release of American hostages was delayed until after the Reagan-Bush presidential election. 1991 Iraq admitted to misleading U.N. inspectors about secret biological weapons. 1992 Federal civil rights charges were filed against four Los Angeles police officers. The officers had been acquitted on California State charges. Two of the officers were convicted and jailed on violation of civil rights charges. 1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein stopped cooperating with U.N. weapons inspectors. 2002 The U.S. closed its consulate in Karachi, Pakistan. The consulate was closed after local authorities removed large concrete blocks and reopened the road in front of the building to normal traffic. 2009 Google purchased its first public company. The company was the video software maker On2 Technologies. 2011 NASA announced that its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter had captured photographic evidence of possible liquid water on Mars during warm seasons. 2011 Juno was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on a mission to Jupiter. It was the first solar- powered spacecraft to go to Jupiter. 2011 Standard & Poor's Financial Services lowered the United States' AAA credit rating by one notch to AA-plus. 2021 Do smiled. |
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