Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, August 4 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Arkansas man caught having sex with the neighbor's donkeys Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 2 in 1492 Christopher Columbus left Palos, Spain with three ships. The voyage led him to what is now known as the Americas. He reached the Bahamas on October 12. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ "Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory." --- General George S. Patton The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening drive out of bounds onto the beach, so he tees another one up and smacks it right down the middle. The golfer turns to his old Scottish caddy and tells him that in America that is called a "Mulligan" and asks him if there is a name for it in Scotland. The caddy replies, "AYE, we call it a three." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A College student was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his drinking buddies. When they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed. "What's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of his friends asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," he replied. "A talking clock? Seriously?" askeds his astonished friend. "Yup," he replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave it an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "Quiet, you moron! It's three o'clock in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Everett Lee Compton, Jr., 49, Siloam Springs, Arkansas Arkansas man arrested after repeatedly having sex with neighbor's donkey A man from Arkansas is being accused of allegedly buggering his neighbors' donkeys. On Monday, this man landed himself behind bars for several charges. He allegedly trespassed on his neighbors' property in order to sexually assault their donkeys. Everett Lee Compton, Jr., 49, has been arrested by Siloam Springs police. He is being charged with four counts of bestiality, four counts of criminal trespassing and four counts of misdemeanor cruelty to animals. Emert and Joyce Whitaker set up a game camera because of repeatedly finding plastic bags on their property. The game camera showed them that a neighbor was putting the bags on their donkeys and having sex with them. They informed police about a man performing sexual acts on their donkey during the mornings of May 27th and June 4th. The couple had set up a game camera and has footage of the man and handed them over to authorities. The photos show the man placing a bag upon the head of one of the donkey, and later thrusting his pelvis into the animal. The Whitaker's also captured this man allegedly performing illicit sexual acts on their donkeys on July 5th and 6th. In the photo, the suspect feeds a donkey from a bread bag while once having sex with the creature. At 1 A.M. on July 16th, the Whitaker's called the police once again. They spotted the suspect in the field and began recording. This time, they captured footage of the suspect allegedly sexually assaulting their donkey. They described the incident as "some type of sexual interaction." A responding officer arrived on the scene and all egedly found the suspect hiding behind bushes. Compton claims that he was merely taking a walk. A police report obtained by Arkansas Online reports that officer questioned Compton about the donkeys, and the suspect replied that he had only fed the creatures carrots, but he did not have sex with them. Everett Lee Compton claims to not have had sexual relations with those donkeys. The responding officer told the suspect about the video footage taken from Whitaker's camera. Compton allegedly responded by casting the blame upon marijuana, claiming that the cannabis makes him do sick things. He has raked up multiple charges, including four counts of bestiality, four counts of criminal trespassing and four counts of misdemeanor cruelty to animals. Compton remains in the Benton County Jail on $5,000 bond. His court date is set for September 11, 2017. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dee Re: Clickbook Dear Webby, Dear Webby, Okay, just when I thought I had heard about all the programs .... What is 'ClickBook' ??? Dee Dear Dee ClickBook is a printer driver. You install that driver and all of a sudden you have an extra printer. When you print, you can choose it instead of your regular printer or fax. It just adds a whole lot more capabilities to your printer. When you click it, up pops a selector menu to choose a layout. Let's say you click on "Folded Half Size, 4 pages per sheet". (There are about 170 different layouts to choose from.) It prints the first side of all pages, and on top is a helper sheet that shows you how to put the stack back in for the back side. On my printer I simply take the stack, and without turning or flipping put it into the blank paper tray. Then you hit "Print Second Side" and it does that. Afterward you take the stack, fold it in half, bang some staples through the fold and your book is ready. Paperback book size, printed front and back, and all the pages in the right sequence. On a sheet you might have page 7 beside page 256, but when the stack is folded, the math has been done for you and all pages are sequenced properly. There are layouts for anything from CD sleeves to day-planner refills, store flyers, convention table "tents", restaurant menus, flip-down accounting ledgers, etc. Personally, I would be lost without it. Once upon a time, when I was young and beautiful, I used to be able to do that sort of thing by simply wasting an hour or two with a word processor, but I have turned into a spoiled, lazy old fart and forgot how to do it the hard way. Clickbook is not free. It's still only $50, but well worth it. You make that back the first time you print the programs and table tents for a wedding or club event. For printing eBooks 4 pages per sheet, nice and compact so that you can read it on today's narrow airplane seats, Clickbook is indispensable. instead of the long URL, the shortcut straight to it is http://webby.com/clickbook http://webby.com/clickbook Have FUN! DearWebby >From RPC: Our local news anchor (picture a cute, bubbly cheerleader type) was commenting on the newest things allowed on airplanes. Among them were small scissors and screwdrivers. After the story was over, she looked at her co-anchor and said: "I don't know about you, but I've NEVER had a sudden urge to clip or screw ANYTHING on board an aircraft!" Her male co-anchor just looked at her and burst out laughing. LOL, needless to say they cut to commercial immediately! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Delicious Herb Dip By 15mhhm15 [209 Posts, 608 Comments] Total Time: 4 minutes Ingredients: basil chives parsley 1 clove garlic 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil 1/4 tsp salt 1/8 tsp pepper 2 Tbsp lemon juice Steps: I used a combination of herbs: basil, chives and parsley (no specific quantity just a handful of each and filled the 2 cup measuring cup). Dice garlic. Add garlic and herbs into food processor with salt and pepper. Pulse. Add olive oil and lemon juice. Blend until you get a nice dip consistency. Add more oil if needed. Don't forget the BBQ! ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ >From Chris in OZ At first sight we knew it was the perfect Christmas tree. Tall and full, with no bare spots. Even our grown children were impressed. "Wow," said my son, "if you didn't know it was real, it could easily pass as artificial." ___________________________________________________ | | What spray painting multiple layers of acrylic glass looks like. |
___________________________________________________ Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a Christmas party at their country club. "My dear," said Melinda, "Are those real pearls?" "They are," replied Coleen. "Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled Melinda. Coleen responded, "Yes, but for that you would need to borrow some better dentures." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ >From Bonnie: When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too. Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he'd found inside the dryer. He didn't know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job. "I have the other parts," the clerk said, "but for the wire you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife's bra." ____________________________________________________ | Today in 1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal of John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly Journal had been charged with seditious libel by the royal governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is not libelous." 1753 George Washington became a Master Mason. 1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. naval task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard. 1914 Britain declared war on Germany. The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality. 1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier, was recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting down all of its switchboards and switching stations. The shutdown affected 13 million phones. 1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one of the people arrested. Her diary would be published after her death. 1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada. 1956 William Herz became the first person to race a motorcycle over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210 mph. 1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. 1957 Juan Fangio won his final auto race and captured the world auto driving championship. It was his the fifth consecutive year to win. 1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand Forks, ND. 1958 Billboard Magazine introduced its "Hot 100" chart, which was part popularity and a barometer of the movement of potential hits. The first number one song was Ricky Nelson's "Poor Little Fool." 1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George Wallace, the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63 years in prison. 1983 New York Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield threw a baseball during warm-ups and accidentally killed a seagull. After the game, Toronto police arrested him for "causing unnecessary suffering to an animal." 1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to Burkina Faso. 1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from Iraq and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion of the oil-rich Kuwait. 1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179 crewmembers survived. 1994 Yugoslavia withdrew its support for Bosnian Serbs. The border between Yugoslavia and Serb-held Bosnia was sealed. 1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United Parcel Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in full-time positions and defeated a proposed reorganization of the company's pension plan. 2007 NASA's Phoenix spacecraft was launched on a space exploration mission of Mars. The Phoenix lander descended on Mars on May 25, 2008. 2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for illegal entry earlier in the year. 2017 Do smiled. |
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