Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, March 2 Thank your, Micki ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 28, in 1903, The Martha Washington Hotel opened for business in New York City. The hotel had 416 rooms and was the first hotel exclusively for women. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Mother in custody after abandoned, autistic 5-year-old son found ___________________________________________________ I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ___________________________________________________ The lawyer emailed his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Do you want us to order burial or cremation ?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both, but not in that order." ___________________________________________________ Michael strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to a Mrs. Rogers." "Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?" Michael says, "Since he found out that the birth control pills that you prescribed for me did nothing about my hemorrhoids, and the salve you prescribed for Mrs Rogers did not stop her from getting pregnant." ____________________________________________________ Northern Saw-Whet Owl (Petite Nyctale) (Southern AB - March 1, 2021) ____________________________________________________ The cowboy who was preparing the horses for the tourists asked a lady she wanted a Western or an English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic out here." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Heather Nicole Adkins,32, Shelbyville, Indiana, USA Mother in custody after abandoned, autistic 5-year-old son found Colerain Township police say a mother is now in custody after her abandoned, 5-year-old autistic son was found wandering alone last week. 32-year-old Heather Nicole Adkins is in custody in Georgetown, Kentucky, on a local warrant and a warrant issued by Colerain Township police in connection with her son's abandonment. They didn't elaborate on the charges filed. Investigators said the unnamed boy, described as "non-verbal with Austim," is from Shelbyville, Indiana, about 75 miles away from the Cincinnati, Ohio area. They said he was driven to Colerain Township where he was abandoned in the area of Sheed and Gaines roads Thursday. They believe he was discovered an hour later by passing motorists. "Thanks to concerned residents who called us quickly last night, he is safe and warm," authorities posted on Facebook. "He will remain safe while we continue the investigation." Authorities at first didn't know where the boy had come from and what was his name. "He is not the child missing from Canada. We followed up on that lead and have spoken to authorities in Canada," authorities previously posted on Facebook. The matter is still under investigation. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Iris Re: Bottle on tire Dear Webby I have seen all kinds of ads, stories claiming you should put an empty water bottle onto yur tire when parking. The picture leads to longwinded and rather lame car tips, typical of what you call "Me Thinks Thou Talks Too much". What is that all about? Iris Dear Iris Yes, Shakespeare was right. It is just BS, Click-Bait. Every time some gullible soul clicks on any of the involved pages, some hacker gets a dime. The pictures usually show a bottle with Russian writing on it. If you intend to subsidize a Russian hacker, click on it. If you don't intend to do that, then ignore it. Most likely the fad started because somebody was too lazy to carry an empty water bottle to a garbage can, and stuffed it above a tire. Have FUN! DearWebby Also known as 'women's intuition,' this sixth sense thing is no myth. Women usually seem to know what's going on in their man's lives almost better than they do themselves. Why is this? They empty his pockets before throwing his laundry into the washing machine. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Arthur came home after a late-night poker game and was greeted by Sandra, his nagging, sourpussed wife. "And just where have you been all night?," sandra screeched at him. "Playing cards," says Arthur, "but that's not important. What matters is that I lost you to Bubba Smith." "Lost me!!" Sandra screamed, "How did you manage that?" "It was a heartbreaker," Michael admitted. "I had to fold with a royal flush." ______________________________________________ Norrissa was nervous the night her new boyfriend invited her and her three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. He ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the server brought it, the children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. When the waitress poured a small amount for Norissa to taste and handed her the glass, her six-year-old piped up, "Mom usually drinks a LOT more than that!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Aaron bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Valentine's Day. His friend Benny remarked: "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive cars." "She did," Aaron replied. "But where in the world was I going to find a fake Jeep ?!!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, March 2, in 1807, The U.S. Congress passed an act to "prohibit the importation of slaves into any port or place within the jurisdiction of the United States... from any foreign kingdom, place, or country." 1836, Texas declared its independence from Mexico and an ad interim government was formed. 1866, Excelsior Needle Company began making sewing machine needles. 1877, In the U.S., Rutherford B. Hayes was declared the winner of the 1876 presidential election by the U.S. Congress. Samuel J. Tilden, however, had won the popular vote on November 7, 1876. 1897, U.S. President Cleveland vetoed legislation that would have required a literacy test for immigrants entering the country. 1899, Mount Rainier National Park in Washington was established by the U.S. Congress. 1899, U.S. President McKinley signed a measure that created the rank of Admiral for the U.S. Navy. The first admiral was George Dewey. 1900, The U.S. Congress voted to give $2 million in aid to Puerto Rico. 1903, The Martha Washington Hotel opened for business in New York City. The hotel had 416 rooms and was the first hotel exclusively for women. 1906, A tornado in Mississippi killed 33 and did $5 million in damage. 1907, In Hamburg, Germany, dock workers went on strike after the end of the night shift. British strike breakers were brought in. The issue was settled on April 22, 1907. 1908, In New York, the Committee of the Russian Republican Administration was founded. 1908, In Paris, Gabriel Lippmann introduced three- dimensional color photography at the Academy of Sciences. 1917, The Russian Revolution began with Czar Nicholas II abdicating. 1917, Citizens of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship with the enactment of the Jones Act. 1925, State and federal highway officials developed a nationwide route-numbering system and adopted the familiar U.S. shield-shaped, numbered marker. 1929, The U.S. Court of Customs & Patent Appeals was created by the U.S. Congress. 1933, The motion picture King Kong had its world premiere in New York. 1939, The Massachusetts legislature voted to ratify the Bill of Rights to the U.S. Constitution. These first ten amendments had gone into effect 147 years before. 1946, Ho Chi Minh was elected President of Vietnam. 1949, The B-50 Superfortress Lucky Lady II landed in Fort Worth, TX. The American plane had completed the first non- stop around-the-world flight. 1969, In Toulouse, France, the supersonic transport Concorde made its first test flight. 1983, The U.S.S.R. performed an underground nuclear test. 1984, The first McDonald's franchise was closed. A new location was opened across the street from the old location in Des Plaines, IL. 1985, The U.S. government approved a screening test for AIDS to be used to keep infected blood from entering the blood supply. 1986, Corazon Aquino was sworn into office as president of the Philippines. Her first public declaration was to restore the civil rights of the citizens of her country. 1987, The U.S. government reported that the median price for a new home had gone over $100,000 for the first time. 1989, Representatives from the 12 European Community nations all agreed to ban all production of CFCs (chlorofluorocarbons) by the end of the 20th century. 1995, Russian anti-corruption journalist Vladislav Listyev was killed by a gunman in Moscow. 1995, Nick Leeson was arrested for his role in the collapse of Britain's Barings Bank. 1998, The U.N. Security Council endorsed U.N. chief Kofi Annan's deal to open Iraq's presidential palaces to arms inspectors. 1998, Images from the American spacecraft Galileo indicated that the Jupiter moon Europa has a liquid ocean and a source of interior heat. 2000, In Great Britain, Chile's former President Augusto Pinochet Ugarte was freed from house arrest and allowed to return to Chile. Britain's Home Secretary Jack Straw had concluded that Pinochet was mentally and physically unable to stand trial. Belgium, France, Spain and Switzerland had sought the former Chilean leader on human-rights violations. 2003, Over the Sea of Japan, there was a confrontation between four armed North Korean fighter jets and a U.S. RC- 135S Cobra Ball. No shots were fired in the encounter in international airspace about 150 miles off North Korea's coast. The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume reconnaissance flights on March 12. 2004, NASA announced that the Mars rover Opportunity had discovered evidence that water had existed on Mars in the past. 2011, Steve Jobs unveiled Apple's iPad 2. 2016, The U.N. Security Council unanimously approved sanctions on North Korea that included mandatory inspections of cargo leaving and entering North Korea, a ban on all sales and transfers of small arms and light weapons and expulsion of diplomats that engage in "illicit activities." The sanctions were in reaction to the latest nuclear test and rocket launch in defiance of a ban on all nuclear- related activity. 2016, Astronaut Scott Kelly returned to Earth after 340 days in space aboard the International Space Station. 2022 Do smiled. |
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