Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 26 ____________________________________________________ Today, December 25 in 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Illegal Alien, previously deported six times, is arrested in fatal hit-and-run of Denver grandmother. __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. --- Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005) _______________________________________________ Table of Excuses To save time for this department and yourself, please give your excuse by number. The list below covers most situations. 1. That's the way we've always done it. 2. I didn't know you were in a hurry for it. 3. That's not in my department. 4. No one told me to go ahead. 5. I'm waiting for an OK. 6. How did I know this was different? 7. That is his job, not mine. 8. Wait till the boss comes back and ask him. 9. I forgot. 10. I didn't think it was very important. 11. I'm so busy, that I just can't get around to it. 12. I thought I told you! ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan Sanchez, 39, Denver, Colorado Illegal Alien, previously deported six times, is arrested in fatal hit-and-run of Denver grandmother Juan Sanchez was arrested December 21, four days after he struck and killed Annette Conquering Bear with a SUV on a Denver, Colorado, street Conquering Bear was walking home with her husband when the undocumented Mexican man hit her near an intersection and fled the scene The victim was set to celebrate her 52nd birthday December 19 U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement said S nchez was deported six times and arrested three times for driving under the influence of alcohol An undocumented immigrant (illegal alien) was arrested on Saturday for the alleged fatal hit-and-run of a grandmother in Denver. Annette Conquering Bear, a mother-of-six who was due to celebrate her 52nd birthday December 19, was walking home from the supermarket with her husband when Mexican national Juan S nchez struck her with a SUV he had borrowed the afternoon of December 17. The 2007 GMC Sierra was abandoned by S nchez down the road and traced to a friend, who identified him to police investigators. According to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement [ICE], S nchez was deported six times during the last two decades. His first two deportations took place in 2002. ICE also deported him three times in 2008 and once again in 2012. The 39-year-old suspect was also arrested three times for driving under the influence of alcohol. On Monday, Denver prosecutor Beth McCann formally charged S nchez with vehicular homicide and leaving the scene of an accident. His bond was set at $500,000. According to KUSA-TV, S nchez arrested on suspicion of a DUI on December 13 after he drove into a Black Hawk, Colorado, casino's parking lot through the wrong ramp. He spent several hours detained by the Gilpin County Sheriff's deputies before he was released. It is unknown if the Black Hawk police had done a criminal background check on S nchez after his blood alcohol level registered 0/183, twice the legal amount permitted under Colorado law. Funeral services for Conquering Bear, a grandmother-of-five, were held Monday in her hometown of Pine Ridge, South Dakota. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Alexis Re: Clutter of pictures Dear Webby, I have saved so many pictures to my desktop, they are starting to overlap. How can I tame that chaos? Alexis Dear Alexis Make a list of topics, for example: Family, friends, lovers, dogs, cats, sunsets. Right-click on a free spot on the desktop. NEW Folder type the name of the topic. Drag all the pictures, that fall into that topic, into that folder. That gives you some free space. Do the same for the next topic. And so on, until there are no more pictures littering on your desktop. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A man stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money." Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The generation gap proved glaringly obvious at the mail-order music company where my wife works as a customer service representative. Some college students, who were working part-time inputting customer information, wrote the following notes regarding some golden oldies: "Customer is looking for two song titles: 'Shovel Off Two Buffaloes' and 'Honey, Suck a Rose.'" Last minute downloadable Christmas Gift What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Share Expensive Gardening Tools With Neighbors My friend, who lives in another town, says she and her neighbors all share their lawn and gardening tools. This way no one has to be out the purchase price of expensive items, like lawn mowers, garden tillers, leaf blowers, etc., unless they just want to be. Clever idea! By Terri H. from NV Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ | | Top 100 Videos of the Year |
___________________________________________________ Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's rather distracting!" Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!" ___________________________________________________ A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone." ___________________________________________________ Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replied, "Sure, Canned or Dried?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 26 in 1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer to win the world heavyweight title. 1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation of the nation's railroads. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing dominion of Great Britain. 1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 1944 Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed. 1982 The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. It was the first time a non-human received the honors. 1986 Doug Jarvis, age 31, set a National Hockey League (NHL) record as he skated in his 916th consecutive game. Jarvis eventually set the individual record for most consecutive games played with 964. 1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out of existence. 1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the Palestinian Authority. 1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Boulder, CO. 1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 1999 Alfonso Portillo, a populist lawyer, won Guatemala's first peacetime presidential elections in 40 years. 2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of employment killing seven people. McDermott had no criminal history. 2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was made the December 27 by Clonaid. 2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India. 2019 Do smiled. |
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