Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, September 30 Thank you, Bonnie!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Murder suspect's mother turns him in ___________________________________________________ What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things. --- Lech Walesa (1943 - ) No one appreciates the value of constructive criticism more thoroughly than the one who's giving it. --- Hal Chadwick "The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head." --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ Today, Sept 30 in 1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at turning millions of Russians into capitalists. ____________________________________________________ An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what is wrong." "Let's begin with a few questions," said the doctor, "Do you drink much?" "Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop." "How about smoking?" asked the doctor. "Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it." "Well, uh." asked the doctor, "do you have much sex life?" "Oh, no," said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 10:30 every night and I always have been." The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, "Well, do you have pains in your head?" "Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains in my head." "O.K.," said the doctor. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!! ____________________________________________________ Jacky O'Sullivan Red Fox in Waterton ____________________________________________________ Two men were talking. "My son asked me what I did during the Sexual Revolution," said one. "I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Robinson, 37 Lakeland, Florida, USA Murder suspect's mother turns him in A Lakeland man is accused of murdering his girlfriend and burying her body, then attacking a Polk deputy who tried to arrest him. The Polk County Sheriff's Office said Auburndale police received a call from the mother of 37-year-old Jason Robinson around 8:30 p.m. Saturday, reporting that her son had just told her that he had killed his girlfriend. Auburndale police then requested that the Polk County Sheriff's Office perform a well-being check on the girlfriend at the couple's residence on US-98 North, near Keen Road, in unincorporated Polk County. When a deputy arrived at the couple's RV, he made contact with the Robinson outside. He provided a false name and date of birth, but the deputy recognized Robinson because he had looked up his photograph prior to arrival. As the deputy began to detain Robinson with handcuffs, the sheriff's office said Robinson violently attacked the deputy. Robinson managed to remove the deputy's radio and Taser, and attempted to choke the deputy. Two witnesses saw the struggle and came to the deputy's aid, and assisted with securing Robinson in handcuffs. "I cant express my gratitude enough to the two witnesses who jumped in to aid my deputy during a violent fight with a very violent man," Sheriff Grady Judd said in a statement. "Had they not gotten involved, this could have been much worse than it already is." Other deputies soon arrived on scene and began searching for Robinson's girlfriend. They noticed two chairs and a small table sitting on a pallet next to the RV door, with freshly disturbed dirt on the pallet. tim buried under the pallet. The homicide unit and crime scene unit then responded to the scene to continue the investigation. Robinson is charged with first-degree murder, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, battery on a law enforcement officer, tampering with evidence, resisting with violence, depriving an officer with means of communication and protection, and giving false identification to a law enforcement officer. The sheriff's office said Robinson's prior criminal history includes 19 felonies and five misdemeanors in the state of Florida. He has been incarcerated in the Florida state prison on four occasions, in 2005, 2007, 2008 and 2020, and he was most recently released in January of 2021. Robinson had previously been charged in Florida with kidnapping/false imprisonment, aggravated battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and sex offender violations. The sheriff's office said he also has an extensive criminal history in Illinois, Delaware, Mississippi and North Carolina. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Roberta Re: Non standard gifts Dear Webby, I need a source for some gifts, that are not your standard Walfart type of stuff, but don't break the bank. If possible, they should show a bit of class. thanks Roberta Dear Roberta Future father-in-law? Try The hunger Site: That classy Midnight Dragonfly Dish Set is under $8. For extra ooohs and aaahs you can mention that for each set that you buy, 50 meals are provided for those in need. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Two men were talking. "My son asked me what I did during the Sexual Revolution," said one. "I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes. ____________________________________________ The other day I needed to call home from downtown, but the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side to politely wait until it was free, thinking it would only be a couple of minutes. Five minutes went by, and still the man was on the phone. He was just standing there, not saying a word. Two minutes later, he was still not talking. Finally, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could use the phone. I really wouldn't be long, but needed to make an important call. "Hold your horses," he responded, covering the receiver. "I'm talking to my wife......" ______________________________________________ The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat And Overcoat." Ira sure did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal, Barney, kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook. Finally Barney said, "Ira, you Schmuck...stop watching our overcoats." "I'm only watching mine," replied Ira. "Yours has been gone for over half an hour." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, Sept 30, in 1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. 1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, due to advancing British forces. 1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would make it the first American vessel to sail around the world. 1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction after administering ether to a patient. 1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France. 1882 In Appleton, WI, the world's first hydroelectric power plant began operating. 1935 "Porgy and Bess" premiered in Boston. 1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis. 1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes. 1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 2.3 million tons of food into the western sector despite the Soviet blockade. 1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The submarine had been launched on January 21, 1954. 1962 James Meredith succeeded in registering at the University of Mississippi. It was his fourth attempt to register. 1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side of India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir. 1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 20- year sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments and von Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth. 1971 The Soviet Union and the United States signed pacts that were aimed at avoiding an accidental nuclear war. 1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate the prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners were killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on September 13, 1971. 1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. The law was the first example of right-to-die legislation in the U.S. 1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace the pound. 1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled out by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company. 1982 "Cheers" began an 11-year run on NBC-TV. 1986 The U.S. released accused Soviet spy Gennadiy Zakharov, one day after Nicholas Daniloff had been released by the Soviets. 1987 Mikhail S. Gorbachev retired President Andrei A. Gromyko from the Politburo and fired other old-guard leaders in a shake-up at the Kremlin. 1989 Thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an accord between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union. 1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they had captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the residing government forces. 1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic relations. 1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras. Aristide was later returned to power. 1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at turning millions of Russians into capitalists. 1994 The space shuttle Endeavor took off on an 11-day mission. Part of the mission was to use a radar instrument to map remote areas of the Earth. 1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its silence during the persecution and deportation of Jews during the pro-Nazi Vichy regime. 1998 Gov. Pete Wilson of California signed a bill into law that defined "invasion of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or video images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a personal or family activity." The law went into effect January 1, 1999. 1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear chain reaction. 2014 Amazon filed for a patent for a UAV (unmanned aerial vehicle) configured to autonomously deliver items to customers. The patent was related to Amazon's plan for their Prime Air service. 2021 Do smiled. |
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