Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 10 I read that Europe is introducing drinking straws made from pasta. Amazing! If technology continues to advance like that, then by 2050 you can expect straws made from STRAW! The complication with pasta straws is that the grain needed to produce pasta straws requires MORE CO2. By 2025 there will be an acute shortage of pizza. Save the Pizza! Boycott Pasta Straws! ____________________________________________________ Today, October 10 in  1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Louisiana woman tried denying ownership of dope in her vagina  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. --- Bob Edwards Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take. --- Lothar Kaul _______________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for quite some time now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I personally placed an order for them just a couple of days ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked if we had any?" "Poisonous spiders in the fruit department" ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Ashley Beth Rolland, 24, West Monroe, Louisiana  Louisiana woman tried denying ownership of dope in her vagina  The Louisiana woman who denied ownership of a bag of methamphetamine that was found in her vagina during a jail strip search has copped to a narcotics charge in a plea deal with prosecutors, according to court records. Ashley Beth Rolland, 24, pleaded guilty Thursday to attempted possession of a controlled dangerous substance, a felony count for which she was sentenced to four months in custody. A sentencing order indicates that a District Court judge also recommended Rolland for substance use disorder treatment screening. Rolland was named in a September 13 bill of information charging her with felony theft and possession of a controlled dangerous substance. As part of a plea deal, prosecutors dropped the theft count against Rolland and reduced the narcotics charge to a lesser felony. Rolland was arrested in late-July after a male acquaintance accused her of stealing more than $6000 from his West Monroe apartment. The victim, Eugene Dix, told police that Rolland had been staying with him for about a week. Dix, who was identified as Rolland's boyfriend in a police affidavit, told cops that Rolland stole his money while he was showering and then fled the residence. When questioned by officers, Rolland confessed to stealing the roll of cash, which was extracted from her vagina during a consensual search conducted by a female correctional officer at the Ouachita Parish jail. In addition to recovering $6233 in purloined currency, the jailer discovered a clear plastic bag containing approximately 1 gram of methamphetamine inside Rolland's vagina. Rolland, however, denied ownership of the methamphetamine nestled in her body cavity. In disavowing the meth, Rolland did not explain how somebody else's drugs ended up inside her. Eventually, though, she did confess. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Wanda Re: Chrome malfunction reporting  Dear Webby, You are probably familiar with Chrome being a bloody nuisance and crashing a site, and then asking me to report to them what led to the crash. I have spent time reporting the crashes, but never heard back from them, and they never fixed their crap. Have I been wasting my time? Wanda  Dear Wanda Yes. Total waste of time. I am sure they know that the problem is that they are too incompetent to "shelve" inactive pages in virtual memory, which has been available since the days of DOS. Telling them again and again and again that they are a bunch of @#$%^&*, has not done any good whatsoever. You can do, what they should have done decades ago, and park inactive pages in OneTab. OneTab is a third party Chrome extension. You can store tabs in there, without using up precious memory, and retrieve them easier than if you put them into BookMarks. it basically does what Chrome WOULD do, if their programmers were not a bunch of useless dopes. OneTab has been around for quite some time, and I have never noticed any problem or malfunction. And it is free. It takes a bit of getting used to, but when you get used to parking tabs, that you will investigate or read later, in OneTab, and keep just half a dozen tabs open, Chrome won't start hogging more and more memory and crash. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none. He's getting too shortsighted fer doin' the drivin' offa da farm." 
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 Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had just suffered through their worst season ever. 8,000 Madras sports coats were hanging on racks in their warehouse, unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer each day. Out of the blue, in walks a buyer from Australia. "G'day," he begins, "you blokes wouldn't happen to have any Madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere." Schwartz says he MIGHT have a few left, he'd have to check the warehouse. Well, to make a long story short, before long a deal was struck to ship all 8,000 coats to Australia at a handsome profit. But before he left, the Australian buyer says, "There is just one thing. For an order this large, I'll have to get confirmation from my home office in Sydney. I don't anticipate any problems, though, so unless you hear from me by Friday, plan on shipping the coats as we agreed." Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with both partners nervously wondering if the Australians would cancel their order and ruin the business. Friday arrives. The morning passes without incident. The afternoon drags on, but finally the partners allow themselves a little hope as they begin to close up shop late in the day. Five minutes before closing, however, the door opens and a messenger arrives, shouting, "Telegram!" The partners froze. In a cold sweat and trembling, Feldman takes the telegram and opens it. Fearing the worst, his eyes slowly scan the words ... then his face lights up and with a beaming smile he shouts, "Schwartz! GREAT NEWS! It's just your wife! A heart attack she had!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Save Water With Mulch Mulch around plants with grass clippings, compost, straw or ground bark. Mulch will hold moisture in the soil and reduce evaporation. Over time, mulching will increase your soil's water holding capacity. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Great Chicago Fire Oct 10, 1871 
 ___________________________________________________ The chef at a family-run restaurant had broken her leg and came into our insurance office to file a disability claim. As I scanned the claim form, I did a double take. Under "Reason unable to work," she wrote: "Can't stand to cook." ___________________________________________________ My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband Bob a tour of her ship, he was impressed by the neatness of all decks. However, when Bob went to Michelle's house with her, he couldn't believe the disorganization. "Why is everything in its place on your ship," he asked, "but your house is such a mess?" "My house," Michelle said, "does not take 30-degree rolls." ___________________________________________________ A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse. "I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him. The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room. The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 10 1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 1886 The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York City. 1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries under Sun Yat-sen. 1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. 1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 1938 Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of China. 1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the first global airline service. 1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" comic strip. 1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British rule. 1984 The U.S. Congress passed the 2nd Boland Amendment which outlawed solicitation of 3rd-party countries to support the Contras. The amendment barred the use of funds available to CIA, defense, or intelligence agencies for "supporting, directly or indirectly, military or paramilitary operations in Nicaragua by any nation, group, organization or individual." 1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. It set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction to a military coup that forced President Jean-Claude Aristide into exile. 1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in- chief of the army and pledged to leave the country. 1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 1997 The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, opened to the public. Architect Frank Gehry designed the 450 ft. long and 98 ft. wide building. 2003 Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 2019 Do smiled.