Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 22 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 22, in 1973 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that had been restricting abortions during the first six months of pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion. ___________________________________________________ Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) "Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not." --- Isaac Asimov (1920-1992) ___________________________________________________ A teacher was upset that one little boy was swearing in class. "Todd," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear those words?" "My daddy says that," Todd replied. "Well, that doesn't matter," the teacher explained. "I don't want to hear that language in here again." Turning away, the teacher muttered "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too!" the little boy replied. "It means the car won't start! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Jeffrey Goolst Held Gun To Head Of Home Healthcare Aide ____________________________________________________ Rick Berk Whaleback Lighthouse in Kittery, Maine yesterday after Winter Storm Izzy passed. ____________________________________________________ Doctor: "Have you ever been troubled by appendicitis?" Patient: "Only when I've tried to spell it." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeffrey Goolst, Delray Beach, Florida, USA Jeffrey Goolst Held Gun To Head Of Home Healthcare Aide Jeffrey Goolst of Demedici Circle in Delray Beach allegedly held a gun to the head of a 73-year-old healthcare worker who arrived to take care of his elderly mother. When the healthcare worker tried to flee, Goolst allegedly chased her but the aide made it out and called police for help. Before police arrived, a neighbor allegedly entered the Vizcaya home Goolst shares with his mother to make sure his elderly mother was okay. The neighbor found the woman in the bathroom. When he asked how long she had been in the bathroom, Goolst allegedly yelled at his mother, tell him you love me! When the neighbor, fearing something was wrong, attempted to flee the home himself, Goolst allegedly grabbed him and punched him with a closed fist in the face. He then took a slingshot and started firing rocks at neighbors who were also starting to congregate near the home. The Palm Beach County Sheriffs arrived, ordered Goolst outside, and ultimately needed a K9 to knock him down. Goolst was eventually taken into custody and charged with five counts of aggravated assault with a firearm on a person 65 years of age or older, burglary of an occupied conveyance, false imprisonment, battery on a person 65 years of age or older, throwing a deadly missile at a building, criminal mischief valued at more than $1,000, and resisting an officer without violence. PBSO also asked a judge for a multi-day mental health risk protection order on Goolst. The judge agreed. As BocaNews reported earlier this week, Goolst was arrested in 2021 after allegedly battering guests at the Breakers resort, then according to police kicking an officer in the groin. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Renee Re: Chrome slowing things down Dear Webby, My Chrome keeps getting all bunged up, so much that almost nothing continues to work. Is there a way to kill just a few Chrme tabs, or just Chrome without shutting everything down? Thanks Renee Dear Renee Microsoft wants you to use their EDGE instead of Chrome. It seems to bung up too, but some people claim, not as often as Chrome. The problem usualy is too many open tabs. Paste the URLs from not fully active sites into a spreadsheet. The TAB line is NOTfor collecting bookmarks, that you will get back to when you retire. To get out of a terminal slow-down, hit CTRL SHIFT ESC That will soon open the task manager. Select the second tab: Processes and in that the fourth one: Memory Sort that so that the biggest memory users are on top, highlight the op offender, probably Chrome, and hit CTRL E to end that one. It will ask you for an OK. You may have to kill a whole bunch of Chrome instances before everything speeds up and works properly. It won't stay fixed, until you copy paste the URLs from the tabs into a spreadsheet. Try and keep the open tabs down to half a dozen. I know, nobody can do that, but try anyway! Have FUN! DearWebby What is the one thing that all women in singles bars have in common? They're married and the un-tanned line, where their ring is when they are at home, is just as visible as a ring would be. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One day Father Boudreaux and Father Thibodeaux wus fishin on da side of da road. So as not a make it obvius that they were fishing, they hung a big religious poster over a highway sign. Actually it was da back offa Madonna poster and dey had hand lettered on it: "The End is Near! Turn yurself 'Round now afore it's too late!" Well, dis one car dat passed didn't appreciate the sign an da driver wus shouting at dem and hollerin "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" Den all of a sudden dey heard a big splash, an dey looked at each other, an Fr. Boudreaux said: "ya think it's maybbie bad luck ta hang a Madonna poster onn da 'Bridge Out' sign?" ______________________________________________ A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol,we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. Thasch why you alwaysch feel scho schmart affer a few beers. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "OOOPS!." ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 22, in 1666 Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur, died at the age of 74. He was the Mongul emperor of India that built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife Mumtaz- i-Mahal. 1771 The Falkland Islands were ceded to Britain by Spain. 1824 The Asante army crushed British troops in the Gold Coast. 1879 James Shields began a term as a U.S. Senator from Missouri. He had previously served Illinois and Minnesota. He was the first Senator to serve three states. 1879 British troops were massacred by the Zulus at Isandhlwana. 1889 The Columbia Phonograph Company was formed in Washington, DC. 1895 The National Association of Manufacturers was organized in Cincinnati, OH. 1900 Off of South Africa, the British released the unarmed German passenger steamer Herzog, which had been seized on January 6. 1901 Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for nearly 64 years. Edward VII, her son, succeeded her. 1903 The Hay-Herrn Treaty was signed by United States Secretary of State John M. Hay and Colombian Charge Dr. Tom Herrn. The treaty granted the United States rights to the land proposed for the Panama Canal. 1905 Insurgent workers were fired on in St Petersburg, Russia, resulting in "Bloody Sunday." 500 people were killed. 1917 U.S. President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in Europe, calling for "peace without victory." America entered the war the following April. 1930 In New York, excavation began for the Empire State Building. 1936 In Paris, Premier Pierre Laval resigned over diplomatic failure in the Ethiopian crisis. 1938 "Our Town," by Thornton Wilder, was performed publicly for the first time, in Princeton, NJ. 1941 Britain captured Tobruk from German forces. 1944 Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy, during World War II. 1951 Fidel Castro was ejected from a Winter League baseball game after hitting a batter. He later gave up baseball for politics. 1957 Suspected "Mad Bomber" was arrested in Waterbury, CT. George P. Metesky was accused of planting more than 30 explosive devices in the New York City area. 1957 The Israeli army withdrew from the Sinai. They had invaded Egypt on October 29, 1956. 1962 Cuba's membership in the Organization of American States (OAS) was suspended. 1964 Kenneth Kaunda was sworn in as the first Prime Minister of Northern Rhodesia. 1970 The first regularly scheduled commercial flight of the Boeing 747 began in New York City and ended in London about 6 1/2 hours later. 1972 The United Kingdom, the Irish Republic, and Denmark joined the EEC. 1973 Joe Frazier lost the first fight of his professional career to George Foreman. He had been the undefeated heavyweight world champion since February 16, 1970 when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis. 1973 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that had been restricting abortions during the first six months of pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion. 1983 Bjorn Borg retired from tennis. He had set a record by winning 5 consecutive Wimbledon championships. 1984 Apple introduced the Macintosh during the third quarter of Super Bowl XVIII. 1992 Rebel soldiers seized the national radio station in Kinshasa, Zaire's capital, and broadcast a demand for the government's resignation. 1995 Two Palestinian suicide bombers from the Gaza Strip detonated powerful explosives at a military transit point in central Israel, killing 19 Israelis. 1998 Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to federal charges for his role as the Unabomber. He agreed to life in prison without parole. 2000 Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers met privately with U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno as they appealed for help in removing the boy from his Florida relatives and reuniting him with his father in Cuba. 2001 Former National Football League (NFL) player Rae Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the 1999 shooting death of his pregnant girlfriend, Cherica Adams. Adams died a month later from her wounds. The baby survived and lives with the victim's mother. 2001 Acting on a tip, authorities captured four of the "Texas 7" in Woodland Park, CO, at a convenience store. A fifth convict killed himself inside a motor home. 2002 In Calcutta, India, Heavily armed gunmen attacked the U.S. government cultural center. Five police officers were killed and twenty others, including one pedestrian and one private security guard, were wounded. 2002 Lawyers suing Enron Corp. asked a court to prevent further shredding of documents due to the pending federal investigation. 2002 Amazon.com announced that it had posted its first net profit in the fourth quarter (quarter ending December 31, 2001). 2002 AOL Time Warner filed suit against Microsoft in federal court seeking damages for harm done to AOL's Netscape Internet Browser when Microsoft began giving away its competing browser. 2002 Marc Chagall's work "Study for 'Over Vitebsk" was found at a postal installation in Topeka, KS. The 8x10 oil painting is valued at about $1 million. The work was stolen a year before from the Jewish Museum in New York City. 2002 Kmart Corp. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy making it the largest retailer in history to seek legal protection from its creditors. 2003 In New York, the "Leonardo da Vinci, Master Draftsmen" exhibit opened at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. 2003 It was reported that scientists in China had found fossilized remains of a dinosaur with four feathered wings. 2021 Do smiled. |
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