Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, December 6 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ Today, December 6 in 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | Today's Bonehead Award: Utah man assaults McDonalds workers _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system. --- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - ) _______________________________________________ MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Victor Jimmy Castro, 28, Layton, Utah Utah man assaults McDonalds workers Two McDonald's employees were assaulted by an irate customer who claimed that the workers botched his order, according to Utah police. Investigators say Victor Jimmy Castro placed an order last month at a McDonald's inside a Walmart Supercenter in Layton, a city about 20 miles from Salt Lake City, and thereafter left with his food. But Castro, 28, soon reappeared at the McDonald's, according to a probable cause affidavit. He allegedly walked behind the restaurant's counter and began throwing punches at a male employee, who was struck in the face by Castro's blows. After attacking the victim, who was working the cash register, Castro continued into the restaurant's kitchen, where he allegedly punched a second worker in the face. Witnesses told police that during the attack--which was captured by surveillance cameras--Castro declared, You got my order wrong. Pictured above, Castro was arrested yesterday morning. He is locked up in the Davis County jail on multiple charges, including burglary and pair of assault counts. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: Chkdsk Good Morning Webby... When I ran my "crap cleaner" this morning, I got an error message and I don't know what to do. The error messages was: Windows\Temp\msmsc_QASFDtlJbNtLfJ1 is corrupt and unreadable Please run CHKDSK UTILITY I ran "crap cleaner" again and got the same message. I tried using run CHKDSK and that told me it was only read ; I looked for the file and got no where. Do you have any suggestions? I thought of deleting the crap cleaner and then installing it again, is it the crap cleaner? You've helped me so many times, I hate to ask for help again! Thank you, Carol Dear Carol Shooting the messenger won't fix the problem. For chkdsk to FIX stuff, you have to type chkdsk /f Otherwise it just tells you what should be fixed. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. >From Lyn I got so excited when my husband expressed interest in my meditation sessions. "You don't have to close your eyes," I explained. "You can keep them open and focus on something like a candle or a spot in front of you." He nodded thoughtfully. "Could it be a TV?" If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?" Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, Ed, I've been telling you for the last half hour...I'll be ready in a minute!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Befriend Your Butcher and Baker It's a good idea to ask the butcher and baker at your local grocery store what time they put out discounted items. If they are nice enough to tell you, plan your shopping trips around when discounted items will be available. Both meat and bread freeze well for later use. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________  | Watch How This Little Girl Celebrates A Country Christmas. | ___________________________________________________ Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!" ___________________________________________________ A patient had broken his leg and it was going to have to be set. To get him ready for this painful event, he was heavily sedated. While in this "state", he spoke rather freely with the hospital staff and with his wife. She apparently learned several things about her husband. When it was time to reverse the medication, the wife said "Wait! not yet. I have some more questions I want to ask". ___________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds in your lower half. Second, you should use only about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick as you did this morning. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor." __________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ___________________________________________________ Today, December 6 in 1735 In London, French surgeon Claudius Amyand peformed the first successful appendectomy at St. George's Hospital. The patient was an 11-year old boy that had swallowed a pin. 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. 1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed by Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and only president of the Confederate States of America. 1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's worst mine disaster. 1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self- governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was signed. 1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors. 1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by U.S. President Truman. 1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987. 1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, FL. 1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb exploded in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish National Liberation Army was responsible for planting the bomb. 1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing six Israelis and wounding 44. 1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when a man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's school of engineering. The man then killed himself. 1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany. 1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 foreign hostages. 1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a mosque. The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting resulted in at least 2,000 people being killed. 1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20 years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children in the 1960s. 1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due to investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one of the richest in the U.S. and became the largest municipality to file for bankruptcy. 1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 70 people were killed. 1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt against the government six years earlier. 1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected the first two building blocks of the international space station in the shuttle cargo bay. 2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 480 hours of community service stemming from her conviction for shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered to pay $10,000 in fines and restitution. 2019 Do smiled. |
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