Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, July 10 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Neck tattoo with PA man's name foils fake ID Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, July 10 in 1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA. Did they have a spell of Gullible Warming? More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
None are so busy as the fool and knave. --- John Dryden (1631 - 1700) Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence. - --- Vince Lombardi ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A flight attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced about 30 minutes outbound from LA, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat, will receive free drinks for the length of the flight." Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A classic! Dear Mom, Our Scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her that he's OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride on one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put a gas can on a fire, the gas can will blow up? Billy is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that with a car that old you to have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride in the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in a car. Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also, Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy more bullets and dynamite. Don't worry about anything. We are fine. Love, Johnny ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chad M Stitch, 35, Greensburg, Pennsylvania Neck tattoo with PA man's name foils fake ID The tattoo gave it away. A Greensburg police officer knew a Greensburg man was giving him a fake name, according to court papers. The evidence was right there in front of him tattooed on the suspect's neck. Chad M. Stitch, who turns 35 today, was riding in a car that was pulled over Wednesday after it was suspected to be involved in a drug deal, according to police. Stitch is being held in the Westmoreland County Prison on $300,000 bail. A witness reported to police an apparent drug deal involving a blue Chevrolet Malibu at 7:15 p.m. in a parking lot along South Main Street. At the same time, police saw the same car speeding in that area, eventually catching up with it close to the Cedar Street exit of Route 30, according to an affidavit. The passenger identified himself as Chad Majors, but Detective John Swank called his bluff. Swank had arrested Stitch in 2012. I told Stitch that he had provided a false name and I knew he was Chad Stitch, Swank wrote in the complaint. He denied that and stated that his name was Chad Majors. I observed Stitch tattooed on the left side of his neck and told Stitch that his name was tattooed on his neck. Police said they seized about 40 bags of suspected heroin stamped Super Mario and Polo, 23 Ecstasy tablets, marijuana and $180. Stitch is charged with drug offenses and false identification to police. He did not have an attorney listed in online court records. A preliminary hearing is set Thursday. A drunken driving charge is pending against the car's driver, police said. Tech Support Pits From: Barbara Re: Check mail from two machines Dear Webby, Thanks for your previous help. I have another question. How can I use my Outlook Express from my desktop and my laptop using the same name and password. In other words how can I access the same mailbox from both computers and not lose the emails on my desk top? Thank you Barbara Dear Barbara With standard email programs you would set the program on the laptop to "Leave Mail On Server", and on the one on the desktop leave it on the default ("Delete mail off the server when downloaded"). So that you also have the OUT mail on the desktop, you simply BCC your replies to yourself. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down ... I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern ... It seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The Goober scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
When my aunt's youngest child was 3, he wanted a curse word that he could use. To appease the kid she told him that he could say, "Dag nabbit." Well, the problem was that when he said it, it came out as, "Damm Wabbit." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put Straw on Top of Your Potatoes When you plant potatoes, layer about 2 feet of straw on top. The plants will grow through and make potatoes on top of the ground and the straw will shrink down during the summer. By Glenita If you don't have straw, an old bed sheet works even better. When you see the greens lifting the sheet, stab it with a knife and let the greens wiggle out. The potaoes will grow just fine below the sheet, and from early summer on you can reach under the sheet and grab a meal's worth of clean potatoes. That worked well for me even in the Yukon. In cold climate like the Yukon, a plastic tunnel above the potato greenery of course helps a lot. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | How can you eat these beautiful creations? |
___________________________________________________ Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked through her bags to see what she had purchased. In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose and he began to sound out the words "Queen Size." He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "WOW! Look Gramma! You're as wide as Mom's bed!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened? The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!" ____________________________________________________ | Today, July 10 in 1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria. 1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony. 1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in New York City. 1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared war on England. 1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was sold by Spain. 1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil. 1900 'His Master's Voice', was registered with the U.S. Patent Office. The logo of the Victor Recording Company, and later, RCA Victor, shows the dog, Nipper, looking into the horn of a gramophone machine. 1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at an altitude of one mile. 1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA. 1919 The Treaty of Versailles was hand delivered to the U.S. Senate by President Wilson. 1925 The official news agency of the Soviet Union, TASS, was established. 1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures. 1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world. 1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II. 1947 Saab introduced the Model 92 prototype as its first automobile. 1949 The first practical rectangular television was presented. The picture tube measured 12 by 16 and sold for $12. 1951 Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict began at Kaesong. 1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown. 1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea after heavy fighting. 1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between Europe and the U.S. 1962 Fred Baldasare swam the English Channel underwater. It was a 42 miles and took 18 hours. 1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after three centuries of British colonial rule. 1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced that they would continue to sell "New" Coke. 1990 Mikhail Gorbachev won re-election as the leader of the Soviet Communist Party. 1991 Boris Yeltsin took the oath of office as the first elected president of the Russian republic. 1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward racial equality. 1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. 1998 The World Bank approved a $700 million loan to Thailand. 1999 The heads of six African nations that had troops in the Democratic Republic of the Congo signed a cease-fire agreement that would end the civil war in that nation. 2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's. 2015 In South Carolina, the Confederate flag was removed for the last time from the Capitol grounds and taken to a state military museum. 2018 Do smiled. |
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