Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, May 26 ___________________________________________________ Today, May 26 in 1994 - U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China, and announced that his administration would no longer link China's trade status with its human rights record. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Mother shoved autistic son, 9, into canal to drown ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) _____________________________________________________ Teacher: If you had $1.00 and you asked your father for another,how many dollars would you have. Little Johnny: "I would have $1.00!" Teacher: "You don't know your arithmetic." Little Johnny: "You don't know my father!" __________________________________________ Lupin, by Rik Green __________________________________________ >From Bill My sex life is so bad ... that when I called one of those phone sex lines, a voice came on and said, "Not tonight. I have an earache." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patricia Ripley 47, Miami, Floriduh Mother shoved autistic son, 9, into canal to drown A mother was charged with murder after allegedly pushing her autistic son into a canal to drown, then saying Hes in a better place. Patricia Ripley, 47, was charged with the first-degree murder of her son Alejandro late Friday, Miami-Dade Police Department said. She had initially claimed her son had been abducted. Alejandros corpse was found in a waterway close to a golf course in the Florida city, with surveillance camera footage said to show his mom pushing him into the water. She is then said to have told police an extraordinary story about how two men in a blue sedan had chased her car and blocked her into a corner, before one abducted her son. The Miami Herald reported that investigators were immediately suspicious of Ripleys version of events after she gave multiple different accounts of what she claims happened. She reportedly recanted those tales and admitted killing her son late Friday night, telling detectives that she had led him to the canal where he drowned, and that Hes going to be in a better place. Ripley was spotted close to the canal by eyewitnesses. After allegedly killing her son, she is said to have sat in her car for 20 minutes before dialing for help. Her abduction claim saw an Amber Alert issued for Alejandro, although that was canceled on the discovery of the youngsters body. Ripley had tried to claim that the male passenger of the car that ambushed her leapt out of the car and demanded her phone and money. She originally claimed that the man had snatched Alejandro after being told that she had nothing for him to steal. No motive for the killing has been given. Ripley is being held without bond ahead of her first court appearance. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Elsinore Re: Internet Speed Dear Webby, I tried checking my Internet speed, but all the sites I found are just advertising or want money. How do I find out how bad my connection is? Elsinore Dear Elsinore, try these: https://internetfrog.com/mypc/speedtest/ or https://www.speedtest.net/ With the frog you can even select the location that you want to communicate with, for example Ireland, or Tokyo or Soul. The Frog even has a page with tips for improving your speed. Have FUN! DearWebby
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_____________________________________________ >From Vinny One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?" As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son piped up, "I know! It's the one they have in front of the grocery store." _____________________________________________ It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "I want a good picture, so try to make this look natural," she said."Junior, put your arm around your dad's shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?" _____________________________________________ A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours, until police showed up and grabbed him. ____________________________________________ Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today May 26 in 0017 Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans. 1328 William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon by Pope John XXII. 1521 Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because of his religious beliefs and writings. 1647 A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for a second offense. 1660 King Charles II of England landed at Dover after being exiled for nine years. 1691 Jacob Leiser, leader of the popular uprising in support of William and Marys accession to the English throne, was executed for treason. 1736 The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French at the Battle of Ackia. 1791 The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over the crown and state assets. 1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan Cathedral. 1831 Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska. 1835 A resolution was passed in the U.S. Congress stating that Congress has no authority over state slavery laws. 1865 Arrangements were made in New Orleans for the surrender of Confederate forces west of the Mississippi. 1896 The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned. 1908 In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East. 1938 The House Committee on Un-American Activities began its work of searching for subversives in the United States. 1940 The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, began during World War II. 1946 A patent was filed in the United States for an H- bomb. 1946 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin. Stalin promised a "close collaboration after the war." 1948 The U.S. Congress passed Public Law 557 which permanently established the Civil Air Patrol as the Auxiliary of the new U.S. Air Force. 1956 The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove, Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000 in deposits its first day. 1959 The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O. 1961 Civil rights activist group Freedom Ride Coordinating Committee was established in Atlanta, GA. 1961 A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a record time of just over three hours. 1969 The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a successful eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned moon landing. 1975 American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to jump 13 buses in his car. 1977 George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him 3 1/2 hours. 1978 The first legal casino in the Eastern U.S. opened in Atlantic City, NJ. 1987 Sri Lanka launched Operation Liberation. It was an offensive against the Tamil rebellion in Jaffra. 1988 The Edmonton Oilers won their fourth NHL Stanley Cup in five seasons. They swept the series 4 games to 0 against the Boston Bruins. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island was mainly in New Jersey, not New York. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police officers in high-speed chases are liable for bystander injuries only if their "actions shock the conscience." 1998 The Grand Princess cruise ship made its inaugural cruise. The ship measured 109,000 tons and cost approximately $450 million, making it the largest and most expensive cruise ship ever built. 2020 Do smiled. |
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