Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 4 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 4 in 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. ______________________________________________________ No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000) After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man charged after Chicago police sergeant who witnessed fatal shooting was shot in wrist by perp __________________________________________ The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way about my mother moving in with us." __________________________________________ Thanks to Barb for sendinbg me this picture: ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Walter Johnson, 35, Chicago, Illinois Man charged after Chicago police sergeant who witnessed fatal shooting was shot in wrist by perp A man has been charged in the fatal shooting of a man on the West Side and subsequent shooting of a responding Chicago police officer, who was wounded in the wrist. Police said Walter Johnson, 35, fatally shot a 26-year-old man in the first block of South Karlov Avenue on Wednesday afternoon. A Chicago police sergeant witnessed the shooting and followed Johnson, who was driving a white pick-up truck, police said. When Johnson realized he was being followed, police said he got out of the pickup truck, pointed a gun at the police officer's vehicle, and fired multiple rounds. The officer was hit in the wrist and while en route to the hospital, the injured officer spotted the pick-up truck and insisted the pursuit continue. The suspect's vehicle crashed in the 2000-block West Congress Parkway and Johnson was taken into custody, police said. Johnson has been charged with one count of first degree murder, one count of first degree attempted murder, one count of unlawful use of a weapon by a felon and aggravated battery/discharge of a firearm. The injured officer, who has been with the department for more than 20 years and is in his 40s, is expected to make a full recovery. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Lauren Re: Cheap Scanner Dear Webby You mentioned a cheap scanner once, but that was a long time ago. What do you recommend now? Lauren Dear Lauren I bought a Canon 4 function printer for under $30. They are expecting to extort Millions out of me with their overpriced ink, but for printing I use my good old Laser. The scanner part works just fine. For faxing I use https://Faxzero.com, after I annotate the scans and or add files. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone Tell-a-Belle Television (For those of you outside of the southern USA, a "Southern Belle" is a "Southern Beauty", not to be confused with Southern Bell, a telephone company in Louisiana, Florida and Texas) | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church, asked: "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I asked God to teach me to whistle. And just then He did!" ___________________________________________________ Do joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On the first day Do dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed > the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" Do shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied Do and put down the phone! -------- Usually that is done from the phone in a temporarily unoccupied cubicle. ___________________________________________________ For everyone who's ever had a Grandma.... Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She wrote: The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is . . and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love Of GOD!! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach." . . I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing . . why, even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks! Love, Grandma __________________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 4 in 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. 1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the first president of the United States. 1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the public. 1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was established. 1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery, AL, to form the Confederate States of America. 1865 The Hawaiian Board of Education was formed. 1895 The Van Buren Street Bridge opened in Chicago, IL. 1901 "Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines" opened in New York City. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege to Port Arthur. 1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable tire-carrying rims. 1932 The first Winter Olympics were held in the United States at Lake Placid, NY. 1935 CBS radio presented "Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch" for the first time. 1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be produced synthetically. 1945 During World War II, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a conference at Yalta to outline plans for Germany's defeat. 1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British Commonwealth. The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began selling portable electric typewriters. The first machine weighed 19 pounds. 1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes, Isle of Wight. 1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA, by the Symbionese Liberation Army. 1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more than 22,000 people. 1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called for a tripling of the expenditure on the "Star Wars" research program. 1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit and flashed a beam of sunlight across Europe during the night. Observers saw it only as a momentary flash. 1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in compensatory damages. 1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on their way to Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard were killed. 1997 President Milosevic of Serbia apparently surrendered to the will of his people, ordering his government to recognize opposition victories in local elections held in November 1996. 1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL) goal during his 719th game. Lemieux reached the milestone second fastest in history. Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 718th game. 1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000 people were killed in an earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter Scale. 1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just after rockets were fired toward Israel. No casualies were claimed on either side. 2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition government that included Joerg Haider's far- right Freedom Party. European Union sanctions were a result of the action. 2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The country was replaced with a loose union of its remaining two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 2004 The social networking website Facebook.com was launched. 2020 Do smiled. |
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