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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, November 29 Thank you, Kurt!! Thank you, Nancy! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Arrested for raiding his childs college fund ___________________________________________________ Today, November 29 in 1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for the Altair. ____________________________________________________ The least of learning is done in the classrooms. --- Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968) If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004) ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny said, "Hey, mom, can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not," his mom said. Little Johnny said, "If you do, I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's ears perked up. She grabbed her purse, handed him a twenty and said, "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Marie, please go into the garden for a bit. One look at your make-up should scare that neighbor's dog enough to shut him up long enough so that I can have a nap in peace and quiet'." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A Scotsman went to the zoo for the first time. At one cage, he stopped and asked the keeper, "Now, what animal would that be?" The zoo keeper said, "That's a moose from Canada." "A moose!" exclaimed the Scotsman, "Hoots mon! They must ha' rrrats like elephants o'er there!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Eidelkind, Boynton, Florida, USA Arrested for raiding his childs college fund BocaNewsNow.com was first to report several weeks ago that Boynton Beach Police arrested Steven Eidelkind and charged him with raiding his childs college fund taking more than $80,000. The Sun Sentinel and local television stations have since copied our reporting, with the Sun Sentinel finally running a story on Friday. But Eidelkind, now facing felony charges, doesnt want the world to know what he allegedly did. He threatened BocaNewsNow.com with legal action for publishing his arrest and the booking photo that you see, above. Eidelkind claimed that a Florida Statute in effect to prevent mugshot websites from existing also prevents news media from reporting on arrests. It doesnt. Steven Eidelkind of Morgan Landing Way in Boynton is accused of taking more than $80,000 from a Florida College Savings account that was frozen at the time his divorce. But violating the freeze, Eidelkind allegedly withdrew $41,226 on October 8th, 2019; $22,819.44 on November 4th, 2019; $10,415.83 on November 13th, 2019; and $11,730 on December 29th, 2019. He allegedly attempted to withdraw $10,215 on another date but that transaction was stopped. Read part of the deposition where Eidelkind allegedly admitted the crime, as published in a police report, here. Eidelkind was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on November 10th and later released after posting $5,000 bond. A hearing is set for December 16th, 2021. Eidelkind is represented by Attorney William Wallshein of West Palm Beach. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Lydia Re: Canon Scanner Dear Webby You recommended once to use a Canon 4 function ink squirter as a cheap scanner. I did, and used it for years. No problem. Then there was an unsolicited driver update and now it is all screwed up. It wants to use Canon Scanwhatever, a totally screwey driver/app that locks it up and requires me to kill wiawo64.exe via the task manager, just to get Paintshop Pro unlocked again. Or a reboot. @#$%^&*!!!! Their Help is $2, but those bozos would need a kick between their legs to find their balls. They are totally clueless! I used your tip to slam the paper tray and paper door to get it to work for ONE scan. I am VERY tempted to stomp the stupid contraption into smithereenes and toss the pieces into the dumpster. Is there any hope for it? Lydia Dear Lydia Sounds like you are stuck with a Pixma 3020. That used to be a good scanner, but they totally fu**ed up the driver. You CAN do ONE scan after rebooting, but you can't crop anymore to just scan part of a page or part of a picture. And you can't use the scan controls from your paint programs anymore. If you very rarely scan anything, you CAN limp alog with it, with a lot of cussing. It is time indeed to look for a better scanner. I will too, because I too am stuck with a 3020 and the new driver makes it a real pain the nuisance. If you can recommend a good and affordable scammer, ahem, I mean scanner please tell me. Have FUN! DearWebby | | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person. ______________________________________________ Another Bonehead award goes to two teenagers in Hutchinson, Kansas whose 20-minute discussion of their planned armed robbery was heard by police because one of the boys dialed 911 on his cellphone, via the speed dial, when he sat on it, according to police who were waiting at the targeted store. Apparently they shocked the boys by reaching into one of their pockets, taking out the cellphone and, talking into it, told the dispatcher that they were on the scene. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop. He finds one and then begs, "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight." Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe. After a while the cop turns to the kid and says, "Okay, which one's your father?" The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know, officer. That's what they're fighting about." ___________________________________________________ | Today, November 29, in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and had been given permission to camp. 1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army-Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the rotary dial. 1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior to a Soviet attack, forcing Finland to ask for help from Germany. After the Germans had lost over half a Million soldiers there, the Finns kicked them out and joined the winning Allies 2 months before the end of WW2. 1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic proclaimed. 1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy. 1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become president of the World Bank. 1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army became effective. 1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for the Altair. 1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. 1986- Actor Cary Grant died at the age of 82. 1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people aboard. 1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to preserve potentially vital evidence. 1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the party's 40-year monopoly on power. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 1994 The U.S. House passed the revised General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes sentence since World War II. 1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and other narcotics. 2004 The French government announced plans to build the Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum was the planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's reserves. 2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 2021 Do smiled. |
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