Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 17 Thank you, Helen! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Madwoman In Mask Meltdown At Bagel Shop ___________________________________________________ Today, January 17 in 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group. _____________________________________________________ After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. --- Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC) _____________________________________________________ On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" _____________________________________________________ While looking for a certain file, I came across this from 2/23/2002 Today's Humor Letter is again from "home", my machine in the the Webby head office, not from different locations that may be interesting, but are not "home". The airports seem to have settled into a routine and in some, like Calgary, Alberta; Vancouver, BC; or Whitehorse, Yukon, security processing is even faster than before Sept 11. Part of this is due to the extra staff that has been hired to protect terrorists (-if necessary-) against the general bad feelings towards them, and the outrage about the now even higher airport fees. Most of the new security staff seem to be very recent immigrants, probably hired mostly for their ability to recognize terrorists and family members, and not necessarily to converse fluently. If one of them looks you straight in the eye and tells you: "you-wannfries-wizz-zat" they actually mean: "Please open your case and turn your laptop on." When they tell you "Yugo, Yugo fast", they are not referring to their car, but mean that you should take your open laptop and your open Carry-On and go somewhere else to pack everything up again. By the way, so that you won't annoy Windows by interrupting a slow boot and then shutting it off in the middle of it, I would highly recommend that you find an old DOS 3.3 boot floppy and boot to DOS during the security checks. That way Windows won't sulk next time you boot up, and it won't go into safe mode and re-arrange all your icons. A nice extra touch of course is to put an autoexec.bat on it that displays a picture of you or at least your business card. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older gentleman in the rear. "Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Pne hundred and six," was the reply. "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to one hundred and six and not have an enemy in the world." The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I just outlived all them rotten no-good nuisances!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cindy Falco DiCorrado, 61, Boynton Beach, Florida, USA Madwoman In Mask Meltdown At Bagel Shop Floridian recorded giving an advanced Karen Masterclass A Florida Woman who decided to make an anti-masker stand at an Einstein Bros. bagel shop in Boca Raton was arrested yesterday for trespassing following a recorded confrontation with police that could serve as a Karen Masterclass. When Cindy Falco DiCorrado, a 61-year-old resident of nearby Boynton Beach, refused to wear a mask upon entering Einstein Bros. around 11 AM, a store manager called cops. While waiting for Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office deputies to arrive, DiCorrado declared, Im an American and Im allowed to breathe. And its against my religion. And its against the amendment. As she referenced purported legal citations proving that it was illegal to require masks inside a private business, an onlooker asked her, Shouldnt you be storming the Capitol? As seen in the above videos, a deputy calmly tried to convince DiCorrado to leave the shop, but she told him, You need to read the Constitution! and Get you hands off of me. She also claimed that the cop was kidnapping her when he grasped her wrist. When a second patrolman arrived at Einstein Bros., the cops lifted DiCorrado from a table and escorted her from the shop. Upon reaching a police cruiser, the deputies sought to handcuff DiCorrado, who then began struggling with the cops as she let out a series of screams. I am not under arrest, leave me alone, DiCorrado yelled. She then twice screamed, I cant breathe, though her face was uncovered and she was not being choked. With her hands cuffed, DiCorrado leaned over the cars hood and chanted, In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. I come against these principalities and powers...this abuse, this abuse. When DiCorrado demanded to know why she was arrested, a cop replied that she had been trespassing. You cant trespass in a public business. They rent the property, she said. Charged with trespassing and resisting arrest without violence, DiCorrado was booked into the Palm Beach County jail, from which she was released this afternoon after posting $2000 bond. DiCorrado, who has pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor counts, has been ordered by a judge to stay away from Einstein Bros. and have no contact with the eaterys manager. DiCorrado, who is a registered Republican, was arrested last May for trespassing and resisting at a West Palm Beach restaurant where two of her friends had been arrested a day earlier (apparently as part of a mask protest). DiCorrado told cops she was on the property because her friends wanted to hold signs to the public. When a deputy took hold of DiCorrados wrist, she began to pull away and immediately ran east into oncoming traffic, according to an arrest affidavit. She was subsequently directed to the ground by an officer and handcuffed. DiCorrado, pictured in the above mug shot, has pleaded not guilty to the 2020 charges. DiCorrado, once wearing a Trump Girl t-shirt, has twice testified against mask mandates at public hearings held by Palm Beachs Board of County Commissioners. DiCorrado--who was identified as Cindy Garcia at one meeting--referred to the COVID-19 crisis as a Plandemic and claimed that public officials were trying to scare certain masses and ethnicities like our Latinos and our darker shades of brown skin. DiCorrado described herself as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:B.Frick Re: Mixed mailout Dear Webby We want to email out some urgent corrections to the manual of one of our products instead of snail-mailing the correction pages or entire manuals. It contains some graphics and some look-up tables, not just text. My secretary wants to do it with a PDF file but I think there must be a better way. I phoned some clients, and none of those want to deal with PDF. What would you recommend? B.Frick Dear B. Aside from upgrading your secretarial staff immediately, I would recommend ANYTHING but PDF for that. PDF is great for making a print job look exactly like the original, no matter what kind of printer is used. For anything other than printing, PDF is generally a nuissance, unless the recipient has a usually expensive program available. Just save it in HTML format and upload it onto the web or attach it to an email. Everybody has a browser and can view it. Have FUN! DearWebby Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A. The car salesman knows when he's lying to you. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The Classifieds - 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. - Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. - A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. - The hotel has howling alleys, tennis carts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities. ____________________________________________ At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?" ____________________________________________ "I understand, Doctor, that many husbands snore," said the young wife, "but you've got to help me stop mine. He's a ventriloquist and snores on both sides of me at the same time!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 17 in 1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France back to Rome. 1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict of St. Germain. 1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to cross the Antarctic Circle. 1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was recognized by Britain. 1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car system. 1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace Exhibition in London. 1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. 1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was an important cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence from Mexico. 1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy. 1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in Chicago, IL. 1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there by one month. Scott and his party died during the return trip. 1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company. The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 1928 The fully automatic, film-developing machine was patented by A.M. Josepho. 1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw at the end of World War II. 1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in Hungary while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews. 1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the Federal State of Mali. 1961 In his farewell address, U.S. President Eisenhower warned against the rise of "the military-industrial complex." 1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a refuelling tanker. The bombs were released and eight crewmembers were killed. 1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took place at Utah State Prison. 1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the country of Kuwait. 1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building workers and injured seven others. 1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA, registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61 people were killed and about $20 billion in damage was caused. 1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. 1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the Roman Catholic country's history. 1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule, but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish settlers lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was the first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a criminal or civil lawsuit. 2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the world's largest drugmaker. 2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed during a coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily placed Kabila's son in charge of the government. 2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was killed at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up to his table and shot him more than 10 times. 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group. 2021 Do smiled. |
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