Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, June 19 Who was Sergeant Reckless? Who remembers without looking it up? _____________________________________________________ Today, June 19 in 1862 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln outlined his Emancipation Proclamation, which outlawed slavery in U.S. territories. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Floriduh Dope steals mail truck ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. --- Zsa Zsa Gabor _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one hell of a big party!" ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jesse Estep, 29, Volusia, Floriduh Floriduh Dope steals mail truck A man who stole a mail truck on Saturday told Flagler County Sheriff's deputies that he was high on meth and cocaine when they arrested him. 29-year-old Jesse Estep is charged with Grand Theft Auto, Aggravated Fleeing and Eluding, and two counts Aggravated Assault on a Law Enforcement Officer. He also faces charges in Volusia County. FCSO received an alert from Volusia County around 4:30 p.m. yesterday (June 8) about a carjacking suspect driving a stolen mail truck who was headed northbound on I-95 into Flagler County. FCSO deputies located the vehicle and took over the pursuit. They deployed Stop Sticks on I-95 as Estep was not stopping for marked law enforcement vehicles. Estep intentionally swerved at a deputy but thankfully missed him. He then swerved toward the other side of the road, also missing that deputy. At that time, a rear tire of the mail truck hit the Stop Sticks, causing Estep to lose control. He over corrected and crashed into a guardrail about two miles north of Old Dixie Highway. Volusia and Flagler County deputies took Estep into custody and transported him to Advent Health Palm Coast for a medical evaluation. This is another great example of our agencies working together, said Sheriff Rick Staly. The suspect immediately told deputies that he was high on meth and cocaine. It is a miracle that no deputies, police officers, or other travelers on the roadway were hurt during the reckless driving of this suspect. I'm especially grateful that his efforts to injure my deputies failed. Criminals need to learn that if you commit crimes in Flagler County you will end up in the Green Roof Inn where you belong. Because Estep carjacked a mail truck, he could also face federal charges. He's currently in custody at the Flagler County Jail. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Hubcap Re: Windows 7 Dear Webby I know all the big name computer makers have chickened out and are no longer selling W7 machines. I have tried that disgusting W10, and it is as bad as VISTA was. Where can one get W7 machines? Thanks Hubcap Dear Hubcap Yes, the big computer makers all get a certain amount of money for each pre-installed W10. That seems to be enough money, so that they won't even discuss selling a bare machine. Some of them will sell you a machine with Linux on it, and threaten dire consequences if you put W7 on it. However, that is what a lot of people do. They buy a W7 CD from Amazon, and put it onto a computer that has Linux on it. You can even make it a dual-boot, that asks you when you turn it on whether you feel like Linux today or like W7. That is actually the best solution. Like 99.999% of all web servers, all of ours use Linux. Google uses Linux, Firefox uses Linux, most stores use Linux, banks use Linux. I don't know of any serious company, that uses W10. So just buy the cheapest computer you can find, put plenty of RAM on it, (as if you were going to run W10) and once you get it home, use the W7 CD from Amazon to format it. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. >From Dave My mother has a "lead foot," so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires ! out?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Johnathan was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Record Driving Directions I use my car's cassette player to "read" directions for me. I make the tape ahead of time, and start and stop it as needed along the way. This is especially good if someone has given you directions to their home, etc. thriftyfun.Com Wow! I remember those! While it might be difficult nowadays to find a car with a cassette player, you can use a digital dictaphone for that. They look like a fat key-fob and you can hang them on the ignition key ring, or stick one of these potholder hooks onto the dash. They are sturdy enough that, for office use, you can tap them with your shoe to start or stop talking. You can most definitely slap them against the dash for that. They are from $15 - $50. Also considerably cheaper than an antique car with tape deck is a GPS, that will read you the turn by turn directions just before each turn. Those are from $69 and up. If I lived in a big, complicated city, I would definitely get one of those. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | A look back at 1919 in photos. |
___________________________________________________ A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!' The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.' The man goes on and encounters another passerby. 'Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!' The person says, 'I not American, I Vietnamese.' The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful America!' That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East, I am not American!' He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an American?' She says , 'No, I am from Africa !' Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Americans?' The African lady checks her watch and says. . . . . 'Probably at work!' ___________________________________________________ >From S.I. My father and I belong to the religion of Sikhism. We both wear the traditional turban and often encounter strange comments and questions. Once, in a restaurant, a child stared with amazement at my father. She finally got the courage to ask, "Are you a genie?" Her mother, caught off guard, turned red in the face and apologized for the remark. But my dad took no offense and decided to humor the child. He replied, "Why, yes I am. I can grant you three wishes." The child's mother blurted out, "Really?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
St. Peter was at the pearly gates, making his usual list of names of people waiting to get into heaven. The first man walked up and Peter asked, "Who are you?" "It's me, Albert Jones," the voice replied. St. Peter took his name and let him in. St. Peter asked the second one the second same question, "And who are you?" "It's me, Charlie Anderson." St. Peter took his name and let him in. Finally he turns to the third, asking the same question, "Who are you?" "It is I, Vera Chapman," answered the third. "Oh, great," muttered St. Peter. "Another English teacher." ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 19 in 0240 BC Eratosthenes accurately calculated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. 1586 English colonists sailed away from Roanoke Island, NC, after failing to establish England's first permanent settlement in America. 1778 U.S. General George Washington's troops finally left Valley Forge after a winter of training. 1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani. 1862 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln outlined his Emancipation Proclamation, which outlawed slavery in U.S. territories. 1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg, France. 1865 The emancipation of slaves was proclaimed in Texas. 1873 Eadweard Muybridge successfully photographed a horse named "Sallie Gardner" in fast motion using a series of 24 stereoscopic cameras. This is considered the first step toward motion pictures. 1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was placed under investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland. 1910 The first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington. 1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board was established. 1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day. 1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British royal family to dispense with German titles and surnames. 1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum. 1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces. 1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed pinball machines in the city. 1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21-year-old neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were divorced in June of 1946. 1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa with U.S. President Roosevelt. 1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen. 1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the Imperial Japanese fleet. 1951 U.S. President Harry S. Truman signed the Universal Military Training and Service Act, which extended Selective Service until July 1, 1955 and lowered the draft age to 18. 1958 In Washington, DC, nine entertainers refused to answer a congressional committee's questions on communism. 1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain. 1961 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a provision in Maryland's constitution that required state officeholders to profess a belief in God. 1964 The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was approved after surviving an 83-day filibuster in the U.S. Senate. 1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's youngest premier at age 34. 1968 50,000 people marched on Washington, DC. to support the Poor People's Campaign. 1973 The Case-Church Amendment prevented further U.S. involvement in Southeast Asia. 1973 The stage production of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" opened in London. 1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and Marty in the WHA (World Hockey League). 1978 Garfield was in newspapers around the U.S. for the first time. 1981 "Superman II" set the all-time, one-day record for theater box-office receipts when it took in $5.5 million. 1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit from Kourou, French Guiana. 1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president since 1969. 1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law that required that schools teach creationism. 1989 The movie "Batman" premiered. 1997 William Hague became the youngest leader of Britain's Conservative party in nearly 200 years. 1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject to U.S. export controls. 1998 A study released said that smoking more than doubles risks of developing dementia and Alzheimer's. 1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the offer insultingly low. 1999 Stephen King was struck from behind by a mini-van while walking along a road in Maine. 1999 The Dallas Stars won their first NHL Stanley Cup by defeating the Buffalo Sabres in the third overtime of game six. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by students at public-school football games violated the 1st Amendment's principle that called for the separation of church and state. 2019 Do smiled. |
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