Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 14 Big, romantic Harvest Moon tonight! Unfortunately, it is not much fun alone, just the five of us: I, Me, Myself, Napoleon and the teapot. Maybe _____________________________________________________ Today, September 14 in  1959 Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man-made object on the moon when it crashed on the surface. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Pistols pulled over cold food at McDonald's  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) ------------- What's a 'road'? _______________________________________________ A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest." ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Carl Gamby, 30, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania  Man gets jail time for kissing co-worker, stripping at new job  A former hotel worker will spend time in a county jail for an unwanted kiss to a co-worker and then stripping down naked in the lobby on his second day on the job. Carl Gamby, 30, of Harrisburg, was convicted Thursday in Dauphin County Court of indecent assault, indecent exposure, and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was sentenced to 11.5 to 23 months in the Dauphin County Prison. The district attorney's office said Gamby worked at the Econo Lodge in Swatara Township and on March 28 went to a restroom to use a controlled substance. When he stumbled out of the restroom, he kissed the co-worker training him on her neck and took off his shirt, telling her I just want to kiss you, according to the Dauphin County District Attorney's Office. The woman was able to slip past Gamby and walk to the exit while dialing 911. Gamby then took off his remaining clothes and ran into the walls of the hotel. He then spotted the woman in the parking lot, chased after her, and pounded on the doors and windows of her car until she was able to drive away, prosecutors said. Police responded and found Gamby naked in the parking lot. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Donna Re: Old XP for business use?  Dear Webby, Dad's health got better and he wants to re-start his business. I have an old computer from around 2000, with XP on it, that got parked in 2002. Would that one be strong enough to handle regular off-line business stuff? Thanks Donna  Dear Donna Yes, sure! Just open the lid, vacuum out the dust bunnies and spider webs, and it will be fine. Don't be surprised, if it handles business applications faster than your W10 machine. That old XP will feel comfortable for him, whereas a W10 machine would cause no end of cussing. Since he would not likely use it for playing fashionable StarWars games, just do off-line business stuff, the XP machine will be just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts." 
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 Historic Windsor Castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport. While a group of tourists was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude, making a tremendous noise. One particularly annoyed tourist whined, "Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Reinforcing Drawers You can reinforce dresser or desk drawers by cutting small rectangular pieces of wood and screwing them into the back corners of the drawers. thriftyfun.Com  For the workshop or garage, where drawers tend to get overloaded with tools, the best way to re-inforce them is with roof flashing. That is thin galvanized sheet metal that comes in rolls, is surprisingly cheap, and can be cut with tin snips, garden shears or scissors. Cut 2 inch wide strips the length and width of the drawers. Use a door to kink the strips into "L" shape like angle iron. You are really going to be surprised how easy that works and get annoyed that you never thought of that. Then glue the strips around the outside bottom corners of the drawers with Goop or a similar household glue. When the glue has set, anchor the tin with little picture nails, shoe nails or brads. Drawers re-inforced like that will last just as long as metal workshop drawers, even if they started out as cheaply made kitchen drawers. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
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 ___________________________________________________ >From Latreesha "I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to one of his fathers a week before he was born." ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny walked up to the front of he class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well,the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?" "I don't know", said Johnny, "but, this morning, my sister said she missed one. Then Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, the man next door shot himself, and Father Hibberd across the street took off for a mission in Africa." ___________________________________________________ A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively. "Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied. "Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?" "Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied. __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 14 in 1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. 1814 Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner," a poem originally known as "Defense of Fort McHenry," after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry, MD, during the War of 1812. The song became the official U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931. 1847 U.S. forces took control of Mexico City under the leadership of General Winfield Scott. 1866 George K. Anderson patented the typewriter ribbon. 1899 In New York City, Henry Bliss became the first automobile fatality. 1901 U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds inflicted by an assassin. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, at age 42, succeeded him. 1915 Carl G. Muench received a patent for Insulit, the first sound-absorbing material to be used in buildings. 1938 The VS-300 made its first flight. The craft was based on the helicopter technology patented by Igor Sikorsky. 1940 The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the United States. 1948 In New York, a groundbreaking ceremony took place at the site of the United Nations' world headquarters. 1959 Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man-made object on the moon when it crashed on the surface. 1960 The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) was founded. The core members were Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela. 1963 Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America's first surviving quintuplets. 1972 "The Waltons" premiered on CBS-TV. 1975 Pope Paul VI declared Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton the first U.S.-born saint. 1978 "Mork & Mindy" premiered on ABC-TV. 1983 The U.S. House of Representatives voted 416-0 in a resolution condemning the Soviet Union for the shooting down of a Korean jet on September 1. 1984 Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon solo across the Atlantic Ocean. 1987 Tony Magnuson cleared 9.5 feet above the top of the U-ramp and set a new skateboard high jump record. 1989 Joseph T. Wesbecker shot and killed eight people and wounded twelve others at a printing plant in Louisville, KY. Wesbecker, 47 years old, was on disability for mental illness. He took his own life after the incident. 1998 Israel announced that they had successfully tested its Arrow-2 missile defense system. The system successfully destroyed a simulated target. 1999 It was announced that "US" magazine would change from monthly to weekly and change its name to "USWeekly." 2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in Japan. 2001 The FBI released the names of the 19 suspected hijackers that had taken part in the September 11 terror attacks on the U.S. 2009 Greyhound UK began operations as an hourly service between London and Portsmouth or Southampton. 2015 In Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors detected gravitational waves for the first time. The news was reported on February 11, 2016. 2019 Do smiled.