Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, Mat 24 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Thank you, Bonnie !! Thank you, Clyde !!! _____________________________________________________ Today, May 24 in 1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first telegraph line. The first message was sent from Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was "What hath God wrought?" More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Louisiana woman fired gun over oral sex refusal ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) Seeing ourselves as others would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. --- Franklin P. Jones _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Famous Civil War Battle sites A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. "Here," he points out at one spot, "is where the Southern troops routed a whole regiment of Yankees. Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks. Down about a mile, there's another valley where we captured a thousand Union soldiers." A tourist says, "Didn't the North ever win a battle?" "Yes, ma'am. But none to point out while I'm driving this bus." ______________________________________________________` Vulturine guinea fowl _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anneisha Speed, 19, Baton Rouge, Louisiana Louisiana woman fired gun over oral sex refusal Angry that a male acquaintance refused to perform oral sex on her, a 19-year-old Louisiana woman fired a shot at the man, prompting him to jump from the second-floor balcony of his Baton Rouge apartment, according to court records. The victim said he invited Anneisha Speed into his home due to the two 'hanging out' earlier in the day on May 13, a Baton Rouge Police Department officer noted in a probable cause affidavit. While in the man's residence, Speed asked for oral sex, which victim declined, the affidavit states. At that point, Speed allegedly produced a .40 caliber handgun and demanded oral sex again stating if he declined she would shoot him. The man responded by grabbing Speed's wrist, which led her to fire the weapon. The round, however, did not strike the victim. The man then jumped from the second floor balcony to avoid getting shot at again, an investigator reported. The victim stated that while he was fleeing, he heard another shot fired. After cops were summoned, the man pointed to Speed and identified her as his assailant. Pictured above, Speed allegedly resisted a patrolman attempting to handcuff her. A police search of the crime scene (seen below) yielded a spent shell casing and a live .40 caliber round. After being read her rights, Speed reportedly admitted to taking a Mossberg shotgun and a PlayStation console from the victim's residence. Both items were recovered from a witness's apartment. During a post-arrest search, Speed was found to be in possession of a spent .40 caliber shell casing and two live rounds. The Defendant admitted to picking up the spent casing because it had her DNA on it, according to the affidavit, which does not address the whereabouts of the handgun Speed is alleged to have fired. Speed was charged with multiple felonies, including second-degree attempted murder, illegal discharge of a firearm, and gun theft. She was booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison, from which she was subsequently released on $17,000 bond. From: Carolyn Re: Burning Audio CDs Dear Webby, I got up the courage to switch from Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox and I love Firefox!!! So glad I heard of it from your newsletter. Should I delete Internet Explorer altogether or just leave it on my computer? One more question - I downloaded some songs on a CD and I can play them fine on my laptop computer but when I tried them in my car, nothing plays, can't play them anywhere except my computer. I put them on a CD-RW. Why can't I hear the music at other sources? Thanks and I love your newsletter - you help so much, I have no one else to ask so I am thankful for you! Carolyn Dear Carolyn It is safe now to delete IE. re Audio CDs: The car does not have a computer for playing Data CDs. It just has an Audio CD player. Good information on how to burn Audio CDs is at https://www.wikihow.com/Burn-Music-to-an-Audio-CD Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Doctor: "Madame, I'd like to give you a thorough examination. Please take off all your clothes." Patient: "But doctor, I only stopped by for the blood test results. Dr. Johnson found me in perfect condition just yesterday." Doctor: "So he told me . . . so he told me." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Irene for this story: It was cold and rainy at the Atlantic Ocean resort where I was spending my vacation, but I finally bundled up and went down to the beach. There I saw a man in a bathing suit, lying on a large beach blanket. I walked up to him and asked why he was punishing himself that way. "I've been saving up all year for this vacation so I could get some color," he said. "And I'm going to get it - even if it's blue." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Painting Tips: Keep Paint Drips Off Light Fixtures To prevent drips on ceiling light fixtures, cover them with a plastic bag. Turn off the lights first so you don't melt the bags! Secure the bag where the fixture meets the ceiling with masking table. Plastic grocery bags work well for this, just cut off the handles so they don't get in the way. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so. "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?" ___________________________________________________ There is a theory which states that if anyone ever discovers exactly what the Universe is for, and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting. Krystal asked, " Daddy, you're the boss of the house, right?" Her father proudly replied, "Yes, I am the boss of the house." But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added, "Cause Mommy gave you that job, Daddy?" ___________________________________________________ | Today May 24 in 1610 Sir Thomas Gates institutes "laws divine moral and marshal," a harsh civil code for Jamestown. 1624 After years of unprofitable operation Virginia's charter was revoked and it became a royal colony. 1689 The English Parliament passed Act of Toleration, protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics were specifically excluded from exemption. 1738 The Methodist Church was established. 1764 Bostonian lawyer James Otis denounced "taxation without representation" and called for the colonies to unite in demonstrating their opposition to Britain's new tax measures. 1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland was imminent, Irish nationalists rose up against the British occupation. 1816 Emamual Leutze was born in Germany. He was most famous for his paintings "Washington Crossing the Delaware" and "Columbus Before the Queen". 1822 At the Battle of Pichincha, Bolivar secured independence of the Quito. 1830 The first passenger railroad service in the U.S. began service. 1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first telegraph line. The first message was sent from Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was "What hath God wrought?" 1859 Charles Gounod's "Ave Maria" was performed by Madame Caroline Miolan-Carvalho for the first time in public. 1863 Bushwackers led by Captain William Marchbanks attacked a U.S. Federal militia party in Nevada, Missouri. 1878 The first American bicycle race was held in Boston. 1881 About 200 people died when the Canadian ferry Princess Victoria sank near London, Ontario. 1883 After 14 years of construction the Brooklyn Bridge was opened to traffic. 1899 The first public garage was opened by W.T. McCullough. 1913 The U.S. Department of Labor entered into its first strike mediation. The dispute was between the Railroad Clerks of the New York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad. 1930 Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly from England to Australia. 1931 B&O Railroad began service with the first passenger train to have air conditioning throughout. The run was between New York City and Washington, DC. 1935 The Cincinnati Reds played the Philadelphia Phillies in the first major league baseball game at night. The switch for the floodlights was thrown by U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt. 1941 The HMS Hood was sunk by the German battleship Bismarck in the North Atlantic. Only three people survived. 1954 The first moving sidewalk in a railroad station was opened in Jersey City, NJ. 1961 The Freedom Riders were arrested in Jackson, Mississippi. 1967 California Governor Ronald Reagan greeted Charles M. Schulz at the state capitol in observance of the legislature-proclaimed "Charles Schulz Day." 1976 Britain and France opened trans-Atlantic Concorde service to Washington. 1980 The International Court of Justice issued a final decision calling for the release of the hostages taken at the U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. 1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the federal government had the right to deny tax breaks to schools that racially discriminate. 1986 Montreal won its 23rd National Hockey League (NHL) Stanley Cup championship. 1990 The Edmonton Oilers won their fifth National Hockey League (NHL) Stanley Cup. 1993 Roman Catholic Cardinal Juan Jesus Posada Ocampo and six other people were killed at the Guadalajara, Mexico, airport in a shootout that involved drug gangs. 1993 The Ethiopian province of Eritrea declared itself an independent nation. 1994 The four men convicted of bombing the New York's World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years in prison. 1999 39 miners were killed in an underground gas explosion in the Ukraine. 2000 Five people were killed and two others wounded when two gunmen entered a Wendy's restaurant in Flushing, Queens, New York. The gunmen tied up the victims in the basement and then shot them. 2000 The U.S. House of Representatives approved permanent normal trade relations with China. China was not happy about some of the human rights conditions that had been attached by the U.S. lawmakers. 2000 A Democratic Party event for Al Gore in Washington brought in $26.5 million. The amount set a new record, which had just been set the previous month by Republicans for Texas Gov. George W. Bush. 2001 Temba Tsheri, 15, became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 2011 NASA announced the development of the Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) spacecraft. It is intended to facilitate exploration of the Moon, asteroids and Mars. 2019 Do smiled. |
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