Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, May 7 _____________________________________________________ Today, May 7 in 1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion. It was the largest industrial merger on record. A few years later they paid Chrysler to go away. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Gravy-Covered Laptop Leads To Child Porn Bust ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content. --- Louis L'Amour (1908 - 1988) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old did you say you are?" "I am seventy-eight," the man said proudly. "Seventy-eight!" the doctor exclaimed. "That's great. You look like a sixty year old. How do you stay so healthy?" The old man explained, "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married. Whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. And the old man said, "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life." ______________________________________________________` Bears are not Mooselim. They love bacon! _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Breon Hollings, 22, Jacksonville, Florida Drug Dealer Brags Over Facebook Live Stream As Cops Bust In 22-year-old Breon Hollings can be seen counting money in a Facebook Live video and repeatedly exclaiming, This [expletive] don't stop, man, for about a minute before he hears deputies on a loudspeaker outside his home. As Hollings runs out of the room, deputies can be heard in the background shouting, This is Jacksonville Sheriff's Office. We have a search warrant. This is followed by a series of loud noises, which neighbors told Fox30 were smoke grenades thrown into the house. Hollings was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of cocaine and possession of paraphernalia for the manufacture or delivery of drugs. Hollings has a long criminal history in Duval County, including previous drug charges, court and Jackson Sheriff's Office records show. From: Chip Re: Browser slowing down, requiring reboot Dear Webby Second question, when I right click on an icon, it gives me choices at to what program to open. If I right click on firefox, I can click on facebook, gmail, etc and they pop up right away. for the last month, about every 4 days, when I click on gmail or another, it has taken about 3 or 4 minutes for it to come up. When I reboot, it is back to "normal." What might be causing this and what can I do to solve the problem. I have run ccleaner and Spybot, but no help. Many thanks again, jh Dear Chip Hit CTRL SHIFT ESCAPE to open the Windows task manager. Use the second tab: Processes Sort by size Quite likely you have your browser on top. If your browser or something else is over 200,000 Kb, highlight it and hit the END PROCESS button. Half a minute later everything is back to normal, as if you had rebooted. If you have to dump too many tabs, your browser will suicide. Not a problem. Go get a coffee or tea. When you come back a few minutes later, restart your browser. Most browsers will let you re-open previously open tabs. OneTab is a browser extension, that lets you move one or all tabs into the OneTab archive. It is quite a neat program and free, however, it definitely requires reading the instructions. so that you don't accidentally move all your open tabs into the OneTab archive and freak out. You can easily open them again, they are not dumped, just off the top and now in the OneTab archive. OneTab is a definite MUST HAVE extension if you are browsing at work. When you hear or see the boss approaching, hit ONE TAB on the address bar, and you got a clean browser. Once the coast is clear again, you can easily re-open one or more tabs. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. >From Fran I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the counter. I noticed a sign to the side that stated "Picture Menu Available". I had to ask the clerk what it was for and she told me that they had a number of customers who couldn't read and they used that. Of course, I asked how they would know this picture menu was available and her answer was the classic, "Well, it says so on the sign, doesn't it?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A young mother of a newborn girl announced to her husband, "I've made up my mind. We'll call our daughter Eulalia." The new father did not care for this choice at all, but he was a very tactful young man. He said, "That's fine, honey. The first girl I loved was named Eulalia, and it will evoke pleasant memories." The wife was silent for a moment, then said, "We'll call her Mary after my mother." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ironing Ribbons When ironing ribbons that are difficult to lay flat try holding the end of the ribbon down with your thumb and pull the iron towards you. It's much easier than trying to push the iron forward over an unruly and wrinkled ribbon. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ I saw a news story about a family of ten in Tennessee who were struck by lightning at the burial of one of their family members. Was this God's way of telling the preacher not to lie? "We all know Billy-Bob was a GOOD man . . . " KAZZZZAAAP! "Ok, ok, he was a devoted father . . . " KAZZZAAAAP! "Jesus!" ZAAAP! "Look, we're all just relieved he was wearing some clothes when we found him!" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: The other day, my wife and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would say it was Armageddon). As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility, that we might be in error. To her credit, she finally said, "Look, I'll tell you what. I'll admit I'm wrong if you admit I was right." "Fine," I said. She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, "I'm wrong." I grinned and replied, "You're right." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." ___________________________________________________ | Today May 7 in 0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian. 1274 The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate the election of the pope. 1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc. 1525 The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling class and church. 1763 Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British in New York. 1800 The U.S. Congress divided the Northwest Territory into two parts. The western part became the Indiana Territory and the eastern section remained the Northwest Territory. 1912 The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew over College Park, MD. 1915 The Lusitania, a civilian ship, was sunk by a German submarine. 1,201 people were killed. 1926 A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's exports were motors. 1937 The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist Franco's forces. 1939 Germany and Italy announced a military and political alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis. 1940 Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister. 1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy fleets fought without seeing each other. 1943 The last major German strongholds in North Africa, Tunis and Bizerte, fell to Allied forces. 1945 Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II. It would take effect the next day. 1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded. The company was later renamed Sony. 1951 Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic Games by the International Olympic Committee. 1954 French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting. 1954 The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the Soviet Union's bid to join NATO. 1958 Howard Johnson set an aircraft altitude record in F-104. 1960 Leonid Brezhnev became president of the Soviet Union. 1975 U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War. 1977 Rookie Janet Guthrie set the fastest time on opening day of practice for the Indianapolis 500. Her time was 185.607. 1984 A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the defoliant while serving in the armed forces. 1992 A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was ratified as the 27th Amendment. 1994 The Edvard Munch painting "The Scream" was recovered after being stolen 3 months earlier from an Oslo Museum. This version of "The Scream", one of four different versions, was painted on paper. 1996 The trial of Serbian police officer Dusan Tadic opened in the Netherlands. He was later convicted on murder-torture charges and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. 1997 A report released by the U.S. government said that Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar agreements to return the gold. 1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion. It was the largest industrial merger on record. A few years later they paid Chrisler to go away. 1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000. 1999 A jury ruled that "The Jenny Jones Show" and Warner Bros. were liable in the shooting death of Scott Amedure. He was killed by another guest on the show. The jury's award was $25 million. 1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the Chinese embassy. 1999 In Guinea-Bissau, the government of President Joo Bernardo Vieira was ousted in a military coup. 2000 Russian President Vladimir V. Putin named First Deputy Premier Mikhail Kasyanov as premier. 2003 In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six fuel cell vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others to test drive during the next two years. 2003 Roger Moore collapsed during a matinee performance of the Broadway comedy "The Play What I Wrote." He finished the show after a 10-minute break. He was fitted with a pacemaker the following day. 2019 Do smiled. |
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