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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 13 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, October 13, in 1957, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on an hour long special. The media did not like that and Trump'ed it. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Houston man with multiple DWIs charged with murder for running over 6-year-old boy ____________________________________________________ My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. --- Errol Flynn (1909 - 1959) It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) ___________________________________________________ Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so normal ones ?" ____________________________________________________ Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask. Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time." Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?" Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid." Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another Polish pope?" God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in MY life time." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Pedro Alberto Hernandez, 52, Houston, Texas, usa Houston man with multiple DWIs charged with murder for running over 6-year-old boy A Houston man with two previous DUI convictions is now facing murder charges after allegedly running over a 6-year- old boy while driving drunk in a parking lot on Saturday evening. Pedro Alberto Hernandez, 52, admitted to police that he drank "numerous beers" during the day before striking the boy. "What we believe happened is: he struck the child, ran over the child, then was told that he had struck the child, and so he backed up again onto the child," a Houston Police Department spokesperson told Fox 26 Houston. "Those are all things that a sober person doesnt do." The boy was walking with his grandfather but ran ahead of him in the parking lot when he was struck. He was pronounced dead at the scene. Civilians detained Hernandez after the incident until police arrived. Toxicology results are still pending to determine his blood alcohol level. Hernandez has at least two previous convictions for driving under the influence, according to police. He was charged with murder and driving while intoxicated. _____________________________________________________ Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he barked at him: "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to hook up your telephone." _____________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Lady: "Waiter, please bring me coffee without cream." Waiter: "I'm afraid we've run out of cream. Would you like it without milk?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Darryl Machum Waterton Park, south of here Watch out, if you click through, the big picture is 2048 pixels wide, and may overload your machine! It is super gorgeous, though. Try to print it on overhead transparency and stick it to a wet window. A REAL WOW picture! _________________________________________________ In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. _________________________________________________ Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Kiarra Re:Browser history Dear Webby I need to delete the history, or at least part of it, from my browser (Chrome) before hubby gets back from hospital. How do I do that? Kiarra Dear Kiarra In Chrome hit CTRL H to get the history. Then checkmark all the bad items. If you have a whole bunch of similar ones in a row, for example all smoking related, you can hold down SHIFT, click the top one of those, then the bottom one. All the ones in between will also get checkmarked. Then hit the DELETE key or click on the Delete button on the top right. The checkmarked ones are all gone. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ >From Edith The other day I was playing golf and saw an unusual thing. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of golf clubs into the lake. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the lake, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water. ___________________________________________________ The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked Morris, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes west longitude...?" After a confused silence, Morris offered this as his answer, ....."I guess you'd be eating alone.... I can't swim THAT far!" _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, october 13, in 1775, The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet. 1792, The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House after the Canucks burned it in 1812 and it had to be renovated and whitewashed in 1818. 1812, American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended any further U.S. invasion of Canada. 1843, B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 1854, The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 1943, During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 1944, American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 1944, During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed at Piraeus. 1951, In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 1953, An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 1957, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on an hour long special. The media did not like that and Trump'ed it. 1962, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 1981, Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 1989, U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 1992, A commercial flight record was set by an Air France supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one minute. 1995, Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. 1998, The National Basketball Association (NBA) canceled regular season games, due to work stoppage, for first time in its 51-year history. 1999, The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 2010, Near Copiap, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in the San Jos Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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