Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 22 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ 5 arrested in connection to Tulare County crime spree that turned deadly ___________________________________________________ Today, August 22 in 1996 U.S. President Clinton signed legislation that ended guaranteed cash payments to the poor and demanded work from recipients. ____________________________________________________ Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves. --- Gene Fowler ____________________________________________________ Neither of Sue's kids ever understood her logic. Somehow they failed to see why they had to go to bed when she was tired. ____________________________________________________ Little Colorado River Canyon My bright yellow cap was down there, until a spring flood moved it. ____________________________________________________ A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her,"Why did you cut off the end of the ham"? And she replied "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to." Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied,"I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it." A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?" Her grandmother replied ,"Well dear, otherwise it would never fit into my baking pan." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Davidson of Visalia, Alexander Ceballos of Porterville, Jacob Enriquez of Tulare, Joshua Uribe of Goshen, Alfredo Gaona of Visalia, California, USA 5 arrested in connection to Tulare County crime spree that turned deadly Five men are in custody after being connected to a violent crime spree in the South Valley. Three of those five are also facing charges for the murder of a man near Ivanhoe. Joshua Davidson of Visalia, Alexander Ceballos of Porterville, and Jacob Enriquez of Tulare are accused of killing 19-year old Ivan Ortiz of Delano. On Monday night at about 11:30, Tulare County Sheriff's deputies found Ortiz shot to death outside a home on Road 156 near Avenue 320. Then on Wednesday, detectives learned that the three men, along with Joshua Uribe of Goshen and Alfredo Gaona of Visalia, also went on a crime spree this past Monday night. The five men started in Ivanhoe, where they committed a strong-armed robbery on a victim sitting in his car. Then they drove to Woodlake, where a victim reported the men pulled out a gun. From there, they moved to another area of Woodlake, where they carjacked someone at gunpoint. Deputies tracked Uribe and Gaona down in the stolen truck and arrested them for the carjacking and armed robbery. While Uribe and Gaona were being arrested, deputies were dispatched to Ivanhoe for the murder of Ortiz. Earlier this week, Davidson, Ceballos, and Enriquez were arrested for Ortiz's murder. All three were also charged for the strong-armed robbery and the carjacking in Woodlake. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Dolores Re: Browser death Dear Webby, I am getting very frustrated with my browsers always getting so slow, that I have to shut them down. I tried different browsers, but they all do the same. Does that happen to everybody? I do serious research and am getting quite annoyed. What can I do to fix that? Dolores Dear Dolores Shut down unnecessary programs. For example, "Search Everything" is a very handy research too, but if you leave it running, after it has found what you were looking for, it keeps grabbing memory. Exit it when it has found what you need. The same with any other program. That applies especially to browsers and browser tabs. Copy the URLs into a text file or a spreadsheet, and close unnecessary tabs. You will be surprised how much your brosers appreciate the fresh air! Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny was rough housing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Johnny, I know you love Wilbur, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?" Little Johnny thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Agnes was here to squeeze the cake out of me!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ I find it strange that all those psychics claim they know my future and the winning lottery numbers, yet they fail miserably in predicting that I dump their mail without reading it. ____________________________________________ If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? ____________________________________________ A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell -- the nut has gone to heaven." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 22, in 1485 The War of the Roses ended with the death of England's King Richard III. He was killed in the Battle of Bosworth Field. His successor was Henry VII. 1567 The "Council of Blood" was established by the Duke of Alba. This was the beginning of his reign of terror in the Netherlands. 1642 The English Civil War began when Charles I called Parliament and its soldiers traitors. 1770 Australia was claimed under the British crown when Captain James Cook ran aground there. 1775 The American colonies were proclaimed to be in a state of open rebellion by England's King George III. 1846 The U.S. annexed New Mexico. 1851 The schooner America outraced the Aurora off the English coast to win a trophy that became known as the America's Cup. 1865 A patent for liquid soap was issued to William Sheppard. 1902 In Hartford, CT, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first president of the United States to ride in an automobile. 1906 The Victor Talking Machine Company of Camden, NJ began to manufacture the Victrola. The hand-cranked unit, with horn cabinet, sold for $200. 1910 Japan formally annexed Korea. 1911 It was announced that Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" had been stolen from the Louvre Museum in Paris. The painting reappeared two years later in Italy. 1932 The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) began its first TV broadcast in England. 1941 Nazi troops reached the outskirts of Leningrad during World War II. 1951 75,052 people watched the Harlem Globetrotters perform. It was the largest crowd to see a basketball game. 1959 Stephen Rockefeller married Anne Marie Rasmussen. Anne had once been a maid for the powerful and wealthy Rockefeller family. 1972 Due to its racial policies, Rhodesia was asked to withdraw from the 20th Olympic Summer Games. 1973 Henry Kissinger was named Secretary of State by U.S. President Nixon. Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize in the same year. 1984 The last Volkswagen Rabbit rolled off the assembly line in New Stanton, PA. 1986 Kerr-McGee Corp. agreed to pay the estate of the late Karen Silkwood $1.38 million to settle a 10-year- old nuclear contamination lawsuit. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed an order for calling reservists to aid in the build up of troops in the Persian Gulf. 1990 The U.S. State Department announced that the U.S. Embassy in Kuwait would not be closed under President Saddam Hussein's demand. 1990 Angry smokers blocked a street in Moscow to protest the summer-long cigarette shortage. 1991 It was announced by Yugoslavia that a truce ordered on August 7th with Croatia had collapsed. 1991 Mikhail S. Gorbachev returned to Moscow after the collapse of the hard-liners' coup. On the same day he purged the men that had tried to oust him. 1992 In Rostock, Germany, neo-Nazi violence broke out against foreigners. 1996 U.S. President Clinton signed legislation that ended guaranteed cash payments to the poor and demanded work from recipients. 2004 In Oslo, Norway, a version of Edvard Munch's "The Scream" and his work "Madonna" were stolen from the Munch Museum. This version of "The Scream," one of four different versions, was a tempera painting on board. 2021 Do smiled. |
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