Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 9 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Attorney arrested for trying to amuggle Drugs Into Palm Beach County Jail ____________________________________________________ Today, January 9, in 1936 The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle. ____________________________________________________ As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ Eric said his company sometimes abbreviates the shipping address of their customers to make them fit on the printed labels. However, the Assembly Of God Church aparently was not amused when the label on their box displayed, "Ass Of God Church". ____________________________________________________ Pine Grosbeak ____________________________________________________ For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grand-children. She had even produced a plastic, foldout photo album of all nine of them. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation and said, "Oh, I've done all the talking. I am so sorry. I know you certainly must have something to say. Please, forgive me. You go ahead now. Tell me . . . what do you think of my grandchildren?" His answer was: "Solly, no speeka da Anglees." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Casals, Noca Raton, Florida, USA Attorney arrested for trying to amuggle Drugs Into Palm Beach County Jail The Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office just arrested David Casals, a well-known criminal defense attorney in Palm Beach County and Broward County. Police claim he attempted to smuggle drugs into the Palm Beach County Jail. From PBSO in a just-released (1:42 p.m.) media advisory: David Casals, who practices in Palm Beach and Broward Counties, was charged with attempting to smuggle documents, saturated in cocaine, disguised as legal documents in to the Palm Beach County Jail. After an extensive investigation, testing, interviews and search warrants, detectives were able to procure an arrest warrant for Attorney Casals on the following charges: Trafficking Cocaine, FSS 893.135(1B), 1st Degree Felony; Delivery of Cocaine, FSS 893.13 (1)(A)(1) 2nd Degree Felony; Introduction of Contraband into a County Facility, FSS 951.22 3rd Degree Felony Today, Attorney Casals turned himself into the PBC Jail. He was booked on the charges above and bonded out ($ 58,000). ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Carole Re: Broadband by 2030 Dear Webby Is that just the usual BS, or is there something to that promise? Carole Dear Carole Just pure BS. The definition of Broadband changes faster than the weather. Sure, Internet speed is constantly increasing, theoretically. Here, for example, they installed Fiber, against my wishes. Now I am getting 29 Mbps from here to the ISP, just like I got before with DSL. Ho-hum. The problem is not between here and the ISP, but to get THROUGH the ISP and to the site, that I want to visit. That has actually slowed down and become less reliable. It will definitely improve by 2030, no matter who dispenses the BS from the WhiteHouse. There is nothing you have to or can do about it. Have FUN! DearWebby A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond here?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A student essay stated: "The girl tumbled down the stairs and lay prostitute at the bottom." "In the margin of the paper, the professor commented: "My dear sir, you must learn to distinguish between a fallen woman and one who has merely slipped. ______________________________________________ New Year's Eve Joe's wife stood up at the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The barmaid was almost crushed to death. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
"I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed." --- Bruce Lee ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 9, in 1793 Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the first successful balloon flight in the U.S. 1799 British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger introduced income tax, at two shillings (10p) in the pound, to raise funds for the Napoleonic Wars. 1894 The New England Telephone and Telegraph Company put the first battery-operated switchboard into operation in Lexington, MA. 1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. 1905 In Russia, the civil disturbances known as the Revolution of 1905 forced Czar Nicholas II to grant some civil rights. 1929 The Seeing Eye was incorporated in Nashville, TN. The company's purpose was to train dogs to guide the blind. 1936 The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle. 1940 Television was used for the first time to present a sales meeting to convention delegates in New York City. 1969 The supersonic aeroplane Concorde made its first trial flight, at Bristol. 1972 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth was destroyed by fire in Hong Kong harbor. 1972 British miners went on strike for the first time since 1926. 1986 Kodak got out of the instant camera business after 10 years due to a loss in a court battle that claimed that Kodak copied Polaroid patents. 1991 U.S. secretary of state Baker and Iraqi foreign minister Aziz met for 6 1/2 hours in Geneva, but failed to reach any agreement that would forestall war in the Persian Gulf. 1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, breaking the record for the longest continuous time spent in outer space. 1997 Tamil rebels attacked a military base in Sri Lanka. 200 soldiers and 140 rebels were killed. 2002 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was pursuing a criminal investigation of Enron Corp. The company had filed for bankruptcy on December 2, 2001. 2003 Archaeologists announced that they had found five more chambers in the tomb of Qin Shihuang, China's first emperor. The rooms were believed to cover about 750,000 square feet. 2007 Steve Jobs, Apple Inc.'s CEO, announced the first generation iPhone. 2021 Do smiled. |
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