| Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Joan! Today is Tuesday, April 11 ___________________________________________________ History: Today, April 10 in 2001, China agreed to release 24 crewmembers of a U.S. surveillance plane. The EP-3E Navy crew had been held since April 1 on Hainon, where the plane had made an emergency landing after an in-flight collision with a Chinese fighter jet. The Chinese pilot was missing and presumed dead. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Woman wanted in Mesa for murder caught, accused of another deadly shooting in Phoenix _____________________________________________________ Q The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. --- Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797) The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. --- Arthur Koestler (1905 - 1983) ______________________________________________________ My aunt learned how to live with her husband's sleepwalking. She gave him a vacuum. ___________________________________________________ >From Dad. "This one loves wind, that is why I hung it onto the railing." ____________________________________________________ The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. ..... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? ;) 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in- laws? (Lev.20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan. ____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society. "So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?" The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. Some of the new treatments and medications have developed in recent years. And the classes in life skills and using computers and connecting with people on the internet have helped me feel more real and in touch with the world. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately, or maybe website design." Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities." The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can continue being a teapot and post stuff to Facebook." _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kathryn "Katie" Hansen, 27, Mesa, Arizona, USA Woman wanted in Mesa for murder caught, accused of another deadly shooting in Phoenix A woman who was on the run after police say she murdered a man inside the bedroom of a home in Mesa has been caught 2 months later - and she's being accused of another homicide in Phoenix. Kathryn "Katie" Hansen, 27, is accused of shooting and killing 32-year-old Keith Emmons on Feb. 7 around 2 a.m. near Southern Avenue and Sossaman Road. "This afternoon, the Phoenix Police Department notified Mesa Police that they had a lead and possible location on Hansen. Soon after, they took Hansen into custody," Mesa Police said in a news release just two months after the alleged murder. On April 9, Phoenix Police said that Hansen also faces charges in connection to another deadly shooting that happened back in January. In that case, 41-year-old Aaron Byous was shot at a home near 16th Street and Union Hills Drive. _______________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: Bookmarks Dear Webby, I used to know how to bookmark sites, but have not done that for so long, I forgot how to do it. What is the trick? Eddie Dear Eddie CTRL D works on many browsers. You can also open an email do yourself, and paste the URL and a short description into it. Address it to yourself, but don't quite send it, so that you can add more stuff later or next week. You can also open a spreadsheet, save it and set it to auto-save every 5 minutes, and paste your urls and descriptions into it. With most spreadsheets URLs are clickable. The benefit of spreadsheets is that they are searchable, and sortable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, April 11 in 1512, The forces of the Holy League were heavily defeated by the French at the Battle of Ravenna. 1689, William III and Mary II were crowned as joint sovereigns of Britain. 1713, The Treaty of Utrecht was signed, ending the War of Spanish Succession. 1783, After receiving a copy of the provisional treaty on March 13, the U.S. Congress proclaimed a formal end to hostilities with Great Britain. 1803, A twin-screw propeller steamboat was patented by John Stevens. 1814, Napoleon was forced to abdicate his throne. The allied European nations had marched into Paris on March 30, 1814. He was banished to the island of Elba. 1876, The stenotype was patented by John C. Zachos. 1876, The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks was organized. 1895, Anaheim, CA, completed its new electric light system. 1898, U.S. President William McKinley asked Congress for a declaration of war with Spain. 1899, The treaty ending the Spanish-American War was declared in effect. 1921, Iowa became the first state to impose a cigarette tax. 1921, The first live sports event on radio took place this day on KDKA Radio. The event was a boxing match between Johnny Ray and Johnny Dundee. 1901, Construction on the Empire State Building was completed. The building was dedicated and opened on May 1, 1931. 1940, Andrew Ponzi set a world's record in a New York billiards tournament when he ran 127 balls straight. 1941, German bombers blitzed Conventry, England. 1945, U.S. troops reached the Elbe River in Germany. 1945, During World War II, American soldiers liberated the Nazi concentration camp of Buchenwald in Germany. 1947, Jackie Robinson became the first black player in major-league history. He played in an exhibition game for the Brooklyn Dodgers. 1948, The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls was announced in a general press release. 1951, U.S. President Truman fired General Douglas MacArthur as head of United Nations forces in Korea. 1961, Israel began the trial of Adolf Eichman, accused of World War II war crimes. 1968, U.S. President Johnson signed the 1968 Civil Rights Act. 1970, Apollo 13 blasted off on a mission to the moon that was disrupted when an explosion crippled the spacecraft. The astronauts did return safely. 1974, The Judiciary committee subpoenas U.S. President Richard Nixon to produce tapes for impeachment inquiry. 1979, Idi Amin was deposed as president of Uganda as rebels and exiles backed by Tanzanian forces seized control. 1980, The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued regulations specifically prohibiting sexual harassment of workers by supervisors. 1981, U.S. President Ronald Reagan returned to the White House from the hospital after recovering from an assassination attempt on March 30. 1981, In the Brixton area of London, a race riot erupted that resulted in the injury of more than 300 people. 1984, China invaded Vietnam. 1984, General Secretary Konstantin U. Cherenkov was named president of the Soviet Union. 1985, Scientists in Hawaii measured the distance between the earth and moon within one inch. 1985, The White House announced that President Reagan would visit the Nazi cemetery at Bitburg. 1986, Dodge Morgan sailed solo nonstop around the world in 150 days. 1986, In Groton, CT, the submarine Nautilus exhibit opened to the public. 1986, Kellogg's stopped giving tours of its breakfast- food plant. The reason for the end of the 80-year tradition was said to be that company secrets were at risk due to spies from other cereal companies. 1991, U.N. Security Council issued a formal cease-fire with Iraq. 1996, Forty-three African nations signed the African Nuclear Weapons Free Zone Treaty. 1996, Seven-year-old Jessica Dubroff was killed with her father and flight instructor when her plane crashed after takeoff from Cheyenne, Wyoming. Jessica had hoped to become the youngest person to fly cross-country. 1998, Northern Ireland's biggest political party, the Ulster Unionists, announced its backing of the historic peace deal. 1999, Daouda Malam Wanke was designated president of Niger. President Ibrahim Bar Manassara had been assassinated on April 9. 2001, China agreed to release 24 crewmembers of a U.S. surveillance plane. The EP-3E Navy crew had been held since April 1 on Hainon, where the plane had made an emergency landing after an in-flight collision with a Chinese fighter jet. The Chinese pilot was missing and presumed dead. 2007, Apple announced that the iTunes Store had sold more than two million movies. 2023, Do smiled.
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