Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 19 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Today, June 19 in 0240 BC Eratosthenes accurately calculated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. The Metric decimal system is based on that. That was 2260 years ago. I know ONE country, sabotaged by Flat-Earthers in the opposition, that is still not on the decimal system. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: McDonald's Worker on early release Sold Drugs From Restaurant to narc ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Confusion is always the most honest response. --- Marty Indik Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. --- Satchel Paige (1906 - 1982) _____________________________________________________ The other day, I was getting into an elevator. As I entered, a lovely woman already inside greeted me by saying, "T - G - I - F." I smiled at her and replied, "S - H - I - T." She looked at me, puzzled, and said again, "T - G - I- F." I acknowledged her remark once more by answering, "S - H - I - T." The lady was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said to me as sweetly as possibly, "T - G - I - F" one more time. Then I smiled back at her and once again replied with a quizzical statement, "S - H - I - T." The lady, finally deciding to explain, said, "T - G - I - F, Thank Goodness It's Friday.....get it?" I answered back, "S - H - I - T....... Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Friends don't let friends take home ugly men. ----Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" --- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. ---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! ---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. ---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas No wonder you always go home alone. ---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA Beauty is only a light switch away. --- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. ---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. --- Revolution Books, New York, New York Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light. ---The Janitor What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. ---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Theodore Levon Upshaw, 28, Murrysville, Pennsylvania, USA McDonald's Worker on early release Sold Drugs From Restaurant A McDonalds employee who recently served time in prison on a narcotics charge has been arrested for allegedly selling heroin from the fast food restaurant, police report. Theodore Levon Upshaw, 28, was busted yesterday after selling 20 stamp bags of heroin to a confidential police informant, according to a criminal complaint. While Wednesdays transaction took place in the eaterys parking lot--after Upshaw took a break from work--the informant had previously made multiple purchases of heroin from Upshaw inside the McDonalds in Murrysville, a municipality in Westmoreland County. Following the buy, cops busted Upshaw--who was wearing his work uniform--on several felony narcotics charges, including heroin possession and delivery of heroin. He was booked into the county jail, where he is being held in lieu of $50,000 bond. Upshaw, pictured in the above mug shot, has been living in an alternative housing facility since his early release from state prison, where he was serving three years on a conviction for possession with intent to deliver narcotics. Since Upshaw is on parole for that conviction, a detainer has been entered for alleged violations of his terms of supervision. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Bing maps vs Google Maps deerwebby, i like Bing Maps. it is on their cool home page too. just look for the ... in photo. theychange the image every day. nice.or i think it had the best resolution from satellite image option.i used to like google maps too. used it to go into Birdseye view and chopper aroundthe nation on roads i planned to take. i even got a game throttle joystick to use in place of mouse.think i used mapquest too. just not lately.or most maps have a directions feature for route planning. but i have to split trip upinto short sections to get the way i travel. off the freeways. backroads. detours. etc.so... who has the best chopper option or birdseye view so able to see from above and move around.moe Moe Dear Moe google.com/maps does exist, and works viewing from above, but their directions part fails miserably. The straight from above view is a bit disconcerting, not nearly as nice as it used to be, where you could tilt it a bit to get a faked 3D view. Bing.com/maps works. It shows a typical and usable route, but still, like it always did, likes zig-zagging to shave off a mile or two. That is OK in rural areas, but in big cities it adds a hundred traffic lights or stop signs. You definitely have to watch that and fine tune it manually. The zig zagging can lead you through areas, that you possibly do not want to go into, especially during riot season. Bing.com maps works, but it is from Microsoft. That means, as soon as you get used to their quirkies, they will change things around, and usually not in your favor. Like W7 to W10. Most of W10 sorta works, except for Networking, but it is much slower. If you have a W7 machine next to a W10 machine, the W7 machine gets any work done faster. It is the same with their maps and will cause some frustration, but you will get a route figured out. Have FUN! DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ *Pastors' Good News/Bad News* Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position. Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do. Bad News: The choir mutinied. Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons. Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show", "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game. Bad News: They beat your men's softball team. Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage. Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. Bad News: You were on vacation. Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church. Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination. Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit. Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house. _____________________________________________ Drivers License Test The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, 'Guns don't kill people. I do.' Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car? A: Always wear a condom. Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car. Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too sh*t-faced to find your keys. Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving. A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster. Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully. Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? A: Make eye contact and wave 'hello' if he/she is cute. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color. Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics. Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons. _____________________________________________ Bumper Stickers 20. Could you drive any better if I shove that cell phone up your ass? 19. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. 18. Your gene pool needs chlorine. 17. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you. 16. Don't piss me off. I'm running out of Places to hide the bodies. 15. You're depriving some poor village of its idiot. 14. All men are animals. Some just make better pets. 13. Some people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them. 12. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 11. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 10. All men are idiots. I married their king. 9. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. 8. I took an I.Q. test and the results were negative. 7. Friends help you move. Best friends help you move bodies. 6. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. 5. Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else. 4. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you. 3. I used to have a handle on life but it broke. 2. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you got. and the #1 bumper sticker of the week: 1. Honk if you want to see my finger. ____________________________________________ "Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and she says, 'I wish you'd come to me sooner.'" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 10 in 0240 BC Eratosthenes accurately calculated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. The Metric decimal system is based on that. 1778 U.S. General George Washington's troops finally left Valley Forge after a winter of training. 1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani. 1862 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln outlined his Emancipation Proclamation, which outlawed slavery in U.S. territories. No idea why Antifa and BLM want to d estroy his statues. 1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg, France. 1865 The emancipation of slaves was proclaimed in Texas. 1873 Eadweard Muybridge successfully photographed a horse named "Sallie Gardner" in fast motion using a series of 24 stereoscopic cameras. This is considered the first step toward motion pictures. 1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was placed under investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland. 1910 The first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington. 1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board was established. 1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day. 1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British royal family to dispense with German titles and surnames. 1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum. 1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces. 1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed pinball machines in the city. 1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21- year-old neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were divorced in June of 1946. 1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa with U.S. President Roosevelt. 1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen. 1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the Imperial Japanese fleet. 1951 U.S. President Harry S. Truman signed the Universal Military Training and Service Act, which extended Selective Service until July 1, 1955 and lowered the draft age to 18. 1958 In Washington, DC, nine entertainers refused to answer a congressional committee's questions on communism. 1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain. 1961 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a provision in Maryland's constitution that required state officeholders to profess a belief in God. 1964 The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was approved after surviving an 83-day filibuster in the U.S. Senate. 1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's youngest premier at age 34. 1968 50,000 people marched on Washington, DC. to support the Poor People's Campaign. 1973 The Case-Church Amendment prevented further U.S. involvement in Southeast Asia. 1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and Marty in the WHA (World Hockey League). 1978 Garfield was in newspapers around the U.S. for the first time. 1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit from Kourou, French Guiana. 1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president since 1969. 1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law that required that schools teach creationism. 1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject to U.S. export controls. 1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the offer insultingly low, but they did not refuse it. 1999 Stephen King was struck from behind by a mini-van while walking along a road in Maine. 1999 The Dallas Stars won their first NHL Stanley Cup by defeating the Buffalo Sabres in the third overtime of game six. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by students at public-school football games violated the 1st Amendment's principle that called for the separation of church and state. 2020 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff. Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster. Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!
Where is YOUR site?
Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
|
