Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 7 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Man jumps out of taxiing Southwest Airlines plane ____________________________________________________ Today, December 7, in 1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation. I had a 40 year old Servel fridge when I lived way off the grid in the bush in the Yukon. It was not pretty, but it worked well. ____________________________________________________ There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time. --- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850) "Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." --- Henry Ford ____________________________________________________ A college student who has left his dorm and moved into an apartment goes to a grocery store to shop for cleaning equipment. As he makes his way through the aisles of the store, he loads his cart with a broom, mop, dustpan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute, he tops it all off with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. When he gets to the checkout counter, he sees the checkout clerk eying it all with a puzzled look. Says the young man, "I'm a very messy eater." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I was the only one catching any fish!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel Ramirez, 30, Phoenix jail, Arizona, USA Man jumps out of taxiing Southwest Airlines plane A man jumped out of a Southwest Airlines airplane that was taxiing around Phoenix's Sky Harbor International Airport on the morning of Saturday, Dec. 4, the airline said. At around 8 a.m., flight 4236 coming into Phoenix from Colorado Springs experienced a 30-year-old man jumping out of a door from the back of the plane and locking himself in the fire department nearby, said Capt. Todd Keller with the Phoenix Fire Department said. The airplane's captain stopped the plane and contacted air traffic control, said Dan Landson with Southwest Airlines. Authorities arrived on the scene and the rest of the flight's passengers were able to get to their gate. "After a few minutes firefighters were able to get the adult male to unlock the door where he was then evaluated, treated and transported to a local hospital for a lower extremity injury," Keller said. It's not known why the man jumped out of the plane or what the extent of his injury is. Hours later, Phoenix Police identified the man as Daniel Ramirez. He's now booked into jail on suspicion of two counts of felony trespassing. Phoenix Police said of the incident, "We are aware of this incident, and at this time the investigation is ongoing." Keller with Phoenix Fire says the incident, although unexpected, was handled well by those involved. "They were in constant communication as soon as this person was on the runway. Sky Harbor control tower had eyes on him the entire time and thats how they notified us. It just shows you how much of a well-oiled machine they are out there," Keller said. Dealing with unruly passengers is a growing issue. As of late fall, Sky Harbor staff and police have responded to nearly 3,000 calls of disruptive customers and assaults. Nationally, the Federal Aviation Administration reported more than 5,400 unruly passenger reports so far this year. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Ken Re: Bidenomics in Canada? Dear Webby You probably know how we suffer under Bidenomic inflation, empty shelves and ridiculously high gas prices. Does it affect you in Canada too? Ken Dear Ken Not as bad as in the USA, but with Nuisance Newsom blocking Owner Operator truckers and keeping the freight sitting off-shore costing big money, the only beneficiaries of that insanity are state and federal governments. That drives prices up, which means more taxes collected, without honestly raising the tax rates. Your oil shortage is due to Bidet sabotaging pipelines and doing what he can to annoy the oil industry, while playing international big shot and donating oil to India and other Asian nations. We got way more than enough oil ready and waiting for the sabotage to stop. There is nothing we can do from here about what Bidet does. Re empty shelves: Talk some sense into Nuisance Newsom. Your stuff is sitting within sight of the shore, being blocked. Amazon shifted their shipping to harbors further up the coast and everything arrives as fast as it used to. Because a lot of our imports traditionally come through Mexifornia, that stuff sits out in the harbors, costing money. New orders will come through Oregon and Washington and Vancouver, but the switch will take time. In the meantime we are cussing nearly as much as you are. Have FUN! DearWebby While a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer hunting season, his wife started nagging that he never asked her to go along. After several hours of arguments, the wife won. That next morning they drove out to the country, and he placed his wife in a tree about 100 yards from his blind. Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position. As he ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from it!! The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady.. It's your deer. Just let me get my saddle off of it!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A nice lady went to the kennel where they had Schnauzer pups for sale. When she had picked one out and was ready to take it home, the kennel owner cautioned her that Schnauzers grow lots of hair in the ears, so you have to keep the ears cleared out or they will become infected. Well, the lady forgot to keep an eye on her dog's ears, and the dog developed a serious ear problem. When she took her Schnauzer to the vet, he examined the dog, and declared, "This is the worse case of hair-in-the-ear that I have ever seen!" The vet wrote out a prescription for her to have filled at the drug store. Later, as the druggest was handing her the medicine, he advised her, "If this is for hair on the leg, you mix it 5 parts water to one part of solution. If this is for hair on the under arm, you mix it 10 parts water to one part solution." She replied, "But Sir, this is for my Schnauzer!" The pharmacist replied, "Hmmm, in that case, mix it 20 to one, and don't ride a bicycle for a few days!" ______________________________________________ A real estate salesman has just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he has sold is completely under water. "That customer is going to come back here pretty mad," he says to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" the boss roars. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A gentleman is lured into a busy florist shop by a large sign in the window that reads, "Say It With Flowers." "Wrap up one rose," he tells the florist. "Only one?" the florist asks. "Just one," the customer replies. "I'm a man of few words." ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 7, in 1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S. constitution becoming the first of the United States. 1796 John Adams was elected to be the second president of the United States. 1836 Martin Van Buren was elected the eighth president of the United States. 1889 The first of 554 performances of "The Gondoliers" took place. 1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became the first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring. 1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 150-yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. He went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation. I had a 40 year old Servel fridge when I lived way off the grid in the bush in the Yukon. It was not pretty, but it worked well. 1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in the U.S. officially entering into World War II. The US had been unofficially fighting the Japanese in Asia for ten years. 1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people. It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, W. Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's assets. 1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last U.S. moon mission. 1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E. Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. The man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months in exile. 1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray by the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a prison in Huntsville, TX. 1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff. The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people aboard the DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington summit with U.S. President Reagan. 1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines jetliner. 1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a million. 1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law which required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours before terminating their pregnancies. 1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S. government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in secret at its Nevada test site. 1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S. government study the impact of drug legalization. 1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership before the probe was presumably destroyed. 1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest- ever shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996 campaign financing. 1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in the 1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair. 2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of the Sea at Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the Reformed Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were convicted for the crime and were sentenced to at least four years in prison each. 2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movies theaters were bombed within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed and over 200 were injured. 2003 A 12-inch by 26-inch painting of a river landscape and sailing vessel by Martin Johnson Heade was sold at auction for $1 million. The painting was found in the attic of a suburban Boston home where it had been stored for more than 60 years. 2021 Do smiled. |
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