Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, March 7 I am sorry about the late delivery of the Humor Letter yesterday. I had it written and tried to send it, but some mysterious server problem blocked it. I hacked around on it till mid day until Victor in Ukraine fixed it. I sure am going to sleep well tonight! Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Two men, teen-age girl arrested for conspiring to rob, assault victim Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, March 7 in 1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to operate automobiles." See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like a man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it. --- Ted Morgan Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music. --- Marcus Brigstocke ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ______________________________________________________ The plane was loaded with people when it made a refueling stop. They were told they would be on the ground for 1 hour and they could leave the plane while they refueled. They all got off except for a blind man and his dog. The pilot went to the back of the plane and saw the blind man. He had known him from his travels before. He approached the man and said, "Keith, would you like to leave the plane and stretch your legs?" "No, thank you," the man said, "but my dog would." A few minutes later, the pilot was seen passing through the gate with dark sunglasses and the dog. Most passengers changed their flight. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Your Ex? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ When Rabbi Ovall picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the line. "Hello, Rabbi Ovall?" "Yes, this is he." "I'm calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr. Finegold. Do you recognize the name?" "Yes, he is a member. How can I be of service?" "Well, on last year's tax return, the doctor claimed that he made a sizable tax-deductible contribution to your synagogue. Is that true?" "Well, I'll have to have my bookkeeper verify this information for you. How much did Dr. Finegold say he contributed?" "Twenty five thousand dollars," answered Agent Struzik. "Can you tell me if that's true?" There was a long pause. "I'll tell you what," replied Rabbi Ovall, "Call back tomorrow. By then it will be true." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Colton J. Lynch, 24, of Denver, Jeffrey R. Garrett, 19, of Adamstown, and a 15 year old girl Two men, teen-age girl arrested for conspiring to rob, assault victim Two men and a juvenile girl are accused of conspiring to rob a victim, Ephrata, PA police say. A month-long investigation led police to charge Jeffrey R. Garrett, 19, of Adamstown, Colton J. Lynch, 24, of Denver, and a 15-year-old juvenile girl with Robbery, Conspiracy to Commit Robbery and Aggravated Assault in connection to a suspected crime that occurred on Jan. 23. According to police, Garrett and Lynch asked the girl to find a victim they could assault and rob. The girl allegedly led a victim to a pre- arranged location, a parking garage in the 100 block of East Locust Street. There, Lynch and Garrett assaulted and robbed the victim, police say, cutting him on the elbow with a knife and stealing his wallet and its contents. Garrett is currently incarcerated in Lancaster County Prison after failing to post $50,000 bail. The juvenile's charges were referred to Lancaster County Juvenile Probation. Lynch is still at large, police say. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richard Re: Better PDF viewer Dear Webby, I appreciate what help you are giving. I think there is a problem with my registry. I cant use Adobe reader now because it wants me to use the latest version and now I cant install that. Do you know of any other PDF viewers. I seem to remember something in a distant path of my mind. .... lol Eventually Im going to do a re-instal. For now I'll limp by until I get up the nerve. Thanks Richard in Edmonton Dear Richard Just go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools and look for the PDF readers. There is a link there to Foxit. It is smaller and faster than Adobe, and works just fine, even with ClickBook. I haven't used Adobe in years. And it's free. Especially when you are doing research and have 4-5 e-boooks open, Foxit handles that easily, without overloading your computer even while printing one with Clickbook, while reading others. I print all ebooks in paperback book size booklets, 4 pages per sheet, with ClickBook. Saves a lot of paper and ink. That's the same as a 75% discount on all ink and all paper! Also, the paperback size format, printed front and back, makes them a lot more useful than loose, full size sheets. Right now ClickBook is on special at Clickbook (40% off regular price). Highly recommended! Foxit is a READER. If you want to re ad and EDIT PDF files, for example Government forms, then I recommend Nitro. Don't ask me why the Government puts their forms in PDF format. Maybe they get kickbacks from Microsoft and Adobe? You can get the Nitro reader at GoNitro I have used Nitro for half a dozen years. You can fill out all the silly forms, and even paste a scanned signature. Then email or fax it to them. They never know that you did not waste paper and toner or ink on their form. You can also clip pictures from eBooks or any PDF files with nitro. Quite often the picture of the day is a picture I harvested with Nitro. Like Clickbook, Nitro is one of the essentials in any decent tool box. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "Yeah, but what if they try to escape?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thread Wall Organizer Keep spools of thread out of the way but in plain view by making this easy wall organizer. Cut a piece of plywood to the desired size and attach wall hangers on the top of it. Then cover the plywood with 1 1/2 inch headless nails (finishing nails work great). Position the nails at an angle so the thread spools don't slide off. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com I once made pegboards like that for my girlfriend, who did a lot of embroidery. For the wood I used regular "holy" panel like you see in hardware stores. The holes were an exact match for 3/16" dowels, just perfect for holding the little styrofoam spools she used for winding the yarns onto after untangling the skeins. I cut those pegboards to fit into an attache style hard briefcase and painted them with thick and smooth high gloss marine paint. Each of those panels held a "pallette" of colors, for example one was pastels, one was bright Brazilian embroidery rayon yarns, and so on. I made it so that four pallets just snugly fit into the case. With the cover closed, the yarns were protected from dust and smoke. Easy to make and might make a nice Christmas gift. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. Thanks to Dianne for this story: We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a face-lift and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century home. Showing a friend around the house, I pointed out, "You know, these doors are from the Piedmont Hotel." He raised an eyebrow. "Most people just take the towels." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, March 7 in 0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. 1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent (U.S. Patent No. 174,465) for his telephone. 1901 It was announced that blacks had been found enslaved in parts of South Carolina. 1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a black man accused of murder. 1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to operate automobiles." 1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany. 1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 1927 A Texas law that banned Negroes from voting was ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1933 CBS radio debuted "Marie The Little French Princess." It was the first daytime radio serial. 1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph in Florida. 1936 Hitler sent German troops into the formerly German Rhineland in violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River at Remagen, Germany. 1947 John L. Lewis declared that only a totalitarian regime could prevent strikes. 1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway launched Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden. 1955 "Peter Pan" was presented as a television special for the first time. 1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a million miles in jet airplanes. 1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march by civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman. The guerrillas accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 1987 Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight titleholder when he beat James Smith in a decision during a 12-round fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of an end of World War II massacre in Katyn. Russia had rounded up all Polish officers and all Polish college graduates in the half of Poland, that Russia occupied, and executed them in the Katyn forest, then blamed it on Germany. Interestingly, after the Soviets admitted that and built a memorial in the Katyn Forest, they invited the Polish Government leaders and intelligentsia to the opening ceremony. That jet crashed near the airport. Nobody knows why. All passengers died in the crash. 1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that does not require permission from the copyright holder. 1994 In Moldovia, a referendum to form a union with Rumania was rejected by 90% of voters. 1999 In El Salvador, Francisco Flores Prez of the ruling Nationalist Republican Alliance (Arena) was elected president. 2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than $88 million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal battle over the estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard Marshall II. 2003 Scientists at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center announced that they had transferred 6.7 gigabytes of uncompressed data from Sunnvale, CA, to Amsterdam, Netherlands, in 58 seconds. The data was sent via fiber-optic cables and traveled 6,800 miles. 2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 2018 Do smiled. |
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