Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, August 16 Thank you, Rock!!!! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award Florida woman doused herself in Mountain Dew to erase DNA after murdering 79 yr old roommate ___________________________________________________ Q Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it. --- Russel Lynes An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. --- Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953) Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History: 1923, Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight- hour workday for its employees. ___________________________________________________ A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out "CROSS". Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS." The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound." The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The pastor said "SEX." The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from way in the back of the church, a little 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES." ___________________________________________________ Uttam Das Adhikari, Norway __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five." ____________________________________________________ A little town attracted the attention of sociologists at the state university because of its high birth rate. A team of researchers writes a grant proposal, gets a chunk of money, hires additional staff members and moves to the town. While the staff is busy getting ready for the big research effort, the project director goes to the local coffee shop for a cup of coffee. While he is drinking his coffee, he starts talking with the proprietor, and at one point in the conversation he asks the local man if he has any idea why the birth rate is so high. "Sure," says the coffee shop owner. "Every morning the 6:00 train comes through here and blows its whistle for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up." ______________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ____________________________________________________ Davy Jhon Tinasas Blue Heron. Fish Creek Provincial Park, Calgary AB ___________________________________________________ In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled and screamed, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf. __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Janice Re: Batteries Dear Webby Your Humour letter always cheers me, no matter the mood before. noncomputer question that has puzzled me for a long long time. Since car batteries die in the extreme cold, why don't the little batteries (ie A, AA, AAA, B, C, D, etc.) die in the refrigerator? I have heard that they even rejuvenate in the fridge or freezer. Can this be? You stated you take the cap lock off your keyboards? Does that harm anything? Mine has been dealing me fits lately! (Sexy) Janice Fully charged car batteries are just fine in extreme cold. Extremely cold car engines are hard to start and often drain the battery, before the engine starts. At -45 it is a good idea to restart the engine every 4 hours, so that it does not get too cold. Dry cell or Alcaliine Batteries are a different story. They age and slowly deteriorate sitting on a warm shelf. They deteriorate not quite as fast while in a fridge. It does not really rejuvenate them, just slows down their aging. Prying the CAPS LOCK key off the keyboard and gluing it onto the coin operated COPY machine at Walmart will NOT hurt your computer, but will reduce your cussing quite significantly. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?" The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?" ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Originally reported by Boca Post.com Nichole Maks, 35, Hollywood, Daytona Beach, USA Florida woman doused herself in Mountain Dew to erase DNA after murdering roommate A 35 year old Volusia County woman suspected of killing her 79-year-old roommate allegedly doused herself in soda in an attempt to erase possible evidence on her body, according to an arrest affidavit. She poured diet Mountain Dew all over her body when police told her they were going to collect her DNA as part of the investigation, authorities said. Her DNA was later found on the handle of a bloody knife found lying next to the victim's body at the Daytona Beach home they shared, the affidavit stated. Nichole Maks, 35, was booked into the Volusia County jail on Aug. 5 on charges of first-degree murder, tampering with evidence, and resisting arrest with violence, jail records show. During the early morning hours of July 1, a Daytona Beach police officer was flagged down by a citizen regarding a fire at a home in the 600 block of Clark Street. RELATED: New details in death of Florida man whose accused killer used Mountain Dew get rid of DNA evidence When firefighters arrived at the scene, they extinguished the fire and found a man lying on the floor dead. He had blunt force trauma to the back of his head and multiple stab wounds to his torso, the affidavit stated. He was identified as 79-year-old Michael Cerasoli per a probable cause affidavit, FOX News Digital reported. Inside the home, police found a bloody knife in the victim's bedroom near his body. There was also blood found on the wall next to Mak's bedroom closet. An agency-wide bulletin was put out for Maks as a possible person of interest in the case. Around 3:30 a.m., an officer found Maks at a Krystal's restaurant on N Ridgewood Avenue in Holly Hill. She had no shoes on and had blood on the side of her leg, the affidavit stated. A portion of the shirt she was wearing had been torn or cut off. That portion had blood on it, police said. When officers approached her, she dropped a knife and a hammer she was carrying, the report stated. Authorities said she changed her story multiple times when questioned. She denied knowing the victim and said she was homeless. She also denied carrying the knife and hammer, the report stated. She later admitted to being his roommate, but denied seeing him on the day he was killed and in regard to the knife and hammer she claimed she often carried items like that, police said. Because she kept changing her story, there is no reliable acount of a motive for the murder. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 16, in 1777, During the American Revolutionary War, the Battle of Bennington took place. New England's minutemen routed the British regulars. 1812, Detroit fell to Indian and British troops in the War of 1812. 1829, The "Siamese twins," Chang and Eng Bunker, arrived in Boston, MA. They had come to the Western world to be exhibited. They were 18 years old and joined at the waist. 1842, In New York City, the U.S. government took over operations of the City Despatch Post. This was the first congressionally authorized local postage delivery. 1858, A telegraphed message from Britain's Queen Victoria to U.S. President Buchanan was transmitted over the recently laid trans-Atlantic cable. 1861, U.S. President Lincoln prohibited the Union states from trading with the states of the Confederacy. 1923, Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight- hour workday for its employees. 1930, The first British Empire Games were held at Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The event is now called the British Commonwealth Games. 1937, Harvard University became the first school to have graduate courses in traffic engineering and administration. 1954, Sports Illustrated was published for the first time. It was claimed that 250,000 subscriptions had been sold before the first issue came off of the presses. 1960, Cyprus was granted independence by Britain. 1960, The free-fall world record was set by Joseph Kittinger. He fell more than 16 miles (about 84,000 feet) before opening his parachute over New Mexico. 1978, Xerox was fined for excluding Smith-Corona Mfg. from the copier market. The fine was $25.6 million. 1984, The U.S. Jaycees voted to admit women to full membership in the organization. 1995, Voters in Bermuda rejected independence from Great Britain. 1999, In Russia, Vladimir V. Putin was confirmed as prime minister by the lower house of parliament. 2023, Do smiled.
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