Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 30 >From Jan about that gorgeous pink flowering cactus with no name: my friends have come through for us! It's an Epiphyllium, in the cactus family, or an orchid cactus is what I'm told. Jan ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wichita crook killed after bank robbery ___________________________________________________ Today, January 30 in 1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known as "Bloody Sunday." ____________________________________________________ Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim. --- George Santayana (1863 - 1952) "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) I sure did! ____________________________________________________ A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Officer, only seven of them are mine!" ____________________________________________________ On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. (Yes, I remember that one and quite a few similar ones in Arizona) In a Vancouver, BC restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this old favorite: Subject: The Blonde Cook Book Blonde Cook Book MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Peraza, 50, Wichita, Kansas, USA Wichita crook killed after bank robbery The Wichita Police Department identified the suspect killed in Monday's bank robbery and officer- involved shooting as 50-year-old Paul Peraza. Police say Peraza has previously been convicted for a bank robbery and an armed bank robbery. Police responded to a bank robbery at around 3:40 p.m. Monday at the Golden Plains Credit Union in the 9500 block of E. Corporate Hills Dr., near Webb and Kellogg. Peraza reportedly entered the bank, walked behind the counter and demanded money. Employees told police they did not see a weapon but feared for their safety. Police say Peraza was handed money and then fled the scene in a gray Toyota Tundra, traveling north on Webb. Officers noted the Tundra was reported stolen on Dec. 14. A WPD officer located the suspect vehicle traveling north on Webb and attempted to the stop the vehicle. Police say Peraza refused to stop and led the officer on a pursuit. Photo courtesy Sedgwick County Sheriff's Office. Photo courtesy Sedgwick County Sheriff's Office. WPD released video of the chase, showing Peraza driving away from the officer and at times driving into oncoming traffic. Police say Peraza wrecked the Tundra into a Chevrolet Tahoe stopped at a red light at the intersection of 13th and Webb. The driver received minor injuries. In the video, the suspect vehicle is seen crashing into the Tahoe and then reverses into a patrol vehicle. Police say the officer in the vehicle was not injured. Police say the officer, concerned for his safety and the public's safety, fired shots and struck Peraza. Peraza then drove forward and struck a Honda Accord. EMS responded to render aid to Peraza but pronounced him dead at the scene. Investigators recovered money from the robbery in the bed of the pick-up truck. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Martha F. Re: Back-Ups Dear Webby we had all the computers at work stolen in a break- in. We had no security system, because "Who would steal those old klunkers?" and we had no backups, because "Those old machines are still pretty good". The insurance will, eventually, pay the CURRENT value of those old klunkers, but because we had no backups, they won't pay a penny for data loss or to pay for punching it all back ito computers. As you can imagine, some people got yelled at and the manager got fired. Now I am filling in until a permanent one is hired. What is the best back-up method ? Thanks Martha F. Dear Martha The best back-up method is the one that is used daily. With portable USB harddrives, the biggest nuisance is that they have to be carried to a safe place far away from work. After all, if you have a fire, the ashes from back-up media are rather useless. Among portable media the best one is the portable USB harddrive. You can get a 1 TB portable about the size of a pack of cigarettes. They are very sturdy and you can just throw one into a briefcase, purse, or glove box in your vehicle when you go home. The only method better than that is proper off-site back-ups to your web domain. That is as easy as copying your data files into a different folder, and no matter what happens to your building, the data is safely stashed in a secure place on the web, and as long as you remember the password, the data can be downloaded into new computers in a few minutes. Have Fun! DearWebby As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. After the grunting and goaning to get the boots off was over, he then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Finally, as he stood there with his brother's boots on, she said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He replied,"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots." ____________________________________________ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not, darling?" "You know that you always have a headache next morning after wearing that suit!" ____________________________________________ The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young guy replied. The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "Alright. Get in." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribeIf you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 30 in 1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the River Tyne. 1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold fought on the House floor. 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", was launched. 1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17- year-old mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask for a larger army. 1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway. The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time. The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was murdered by a Hindu extremist. 1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through the airport was 1,435 feet. 1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a performance in Detroit, MI. 1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any pictures to Earth. 1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known as "Bloody Sunday." 1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided to allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been living in exile in France. 1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 1995 Researchers from the U.S. National Institutes of Health announced that clinical trials had demonstrated the effectiveness of the first preventative treatment for sickle cell anemia. 1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his unemployment benefit. 1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an abortion. 2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was defending his actions during the Balkan wars. 2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to high production costs and cheap imports. 2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958 took place. 2017 In China, scientist revealed 540-million-year- old Saccorhytus in a fossil. The actual creature would have been about a millimeter in size. 2021 Do smiled. |
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