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Today's International Bonehead Award: Florida National Cemetery worker stole from deceased WWII veteran Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 24, in 1497 Italian explorer John Cabot, sailing in the service of England, landed in North America on what is now Newfoundland. One of Hagar the Horrible's ancestors had established a colony there around 1050, but they later were killed by the Indians or left. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things. --- Robert Louis Stevenson _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. "Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from Mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?" "Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk." With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk's office that she was exempt because of her age. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said. "I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year." "You have to do it every year," she was told. "Why?" came the response. "Do you think I'm going to get younger, or are YOU getting too old and forgetful?" ______________________________________________________ As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season. When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by Penny An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida National Cemetery worker stole from deceased WWII veteran Kevin A. Cullen, 33, Bushnell Florida A Florida National Cemetery worker stole a deceased veteran's wallet from an urn and bought pizza and video gaming cards with the vet's credit card, Sumter County deputies say. Kevin A. Cullen, 33, of Bushnell was arrested Monday on several charges, including fraudulent use of personal identification of a deceased person and credit card theft. Cullen was responsible for interring the ashes of a 93- year-old World War II Navy torpedoman who died in late November but whose ashes were not interred until April, Sumter County deputies said. Family members were resolving the veteran's financial affairs when they found suspicious credit card charges on his accounts that occurred on the same day the veteran was interred, deputies said. Sumter detectives and a special agent from the Department of Veterans Affairs Office of Inspector General met with Cullen before he reported for duty at the cemetery Monday morning. During an interview at the Sheriff's Office, deputies said he admitted to taking the deceased veteran's wallet from the urn and buying the pizza and gaming cards with the credit card. Cullen was booked in the Sumter Detention Center on $11,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Howard RE: Back-Up concept Dear Webby, I just got transferred to the Eastcoast and was trying to set up the same system of backing up every machine onto the next one, so that going around in a circle, everything was backed up, just like I had done in the Midwest. The girls in the offices didn't call me an idiot outright, but their eyebrows said it clear enough. For disciplinary reasons I did not want to ask them why they thought that was a stupid idea. Can you please enlighten me? Howard Dear Howard At the Eastcoast burglaries are a lot more common than in the Midwest, where you have proabbly led a very sheltered life. Where is your company's business if all the machines in that office are burglared or destroyed by fire ? The only method that is even sillier is to back up onto a second drive in the same machine. The ladies are probably used to either upload the day's new data onto the net, or onto little portable drives that they throw into their purses or pockets or vehicle or bank night deposit slot. Then if something happened to the office overnight, the insurance supplies new computers, you dump the off-site stored data into them, and by noon it's business as usual. Next time their eyebrows say "What a moron!", ask them how they are used to doing things. Willingness to learn actually earns you respect. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ That baseball bat joke reminds me of this one: A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How to Detect a Two Way Mirror When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms etc, how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a two-way mirror? Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail directly touches the image of your nail, then BEWARE, for it is a two-way mirror! By Marti M. Editor's Note: Another way to detect whether a mirror is a two way mirror is to turn off the lights and put a flashlight up against the mirror. If there is a room behind the mirror, you will see it. ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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_____________________________________________________ One night Buffy brought her boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance; fake leather jacket, cowboy boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Buffy," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the blonde daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?" ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Anna's third-grade class students were bombarding her with questions about her newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" Little Johnny tried answering that one: "Well, the way your ears stick out like an open barn door, I could do it from fifty feet with my '22." ____________________________________________________ Gladys was the preacher's wife and accompanied her husband each Sunday to Church. One particular Sunday when the sermon seemed to go on forever, many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be sociable, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman. In an attempt to revive him from his stupor, she extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!" ____________________________________________________ | | Rooftop gardens. What a great idea! |
| Today on June 24 1314 - Scottish forces led by Robert the Bruce won over Edward II of England at the Battle of Bannockburn in Scotland. 1340 The English fleet defeated the French fleet at Sluys, off the Flemish coast. 1497 Italian explorer John Cabot, sailing in the service of England, landed in North America on what is now Newfoundland. One of Hagar the Horrible's ancestors had established a colony there around 1050, but they later were killed by the Indians or left. 1509 Henry VIII was crowned King of England. 1664 New Jersey, named after the Isle of Jersey, was founded. 1675 King Philip's War began when Indians massacred colonists at Swansee, Plymouth colony. 1717 The Freemasons were founded in London. 1793 The first republican constitution in France was adopted. 1812 Napoleon crossed the Nieman River and invaded Russia. 1844 Charles Goodyear was granted U.S. patent #3,633 for vulcanized rubber (rubber + sulfur + soot). 1859 At the Battle of Solferino, also known as the Battle of the Three Sovereigns, the French army led by Napoleon III defeated the Austrian army under Franz Joseph I in northern Italy. 1861 Federal gunboats attacked Confederate batteries at Mathias Point, Virginia. 1862 U.S. intervention saved the British and French at the Dagu forts in China. 1869 Mary Ellen "Mammy" Pleasant officially became the Vodoo Queen in San Francisco, CA. 1910 The Japanese army invaded Korea. 1913 Greece and Serbia annulled their alliance with Bulgaria following border disputes over Macedonia and Thrace. 1931 The Soviet Union and Afghanistan signed a treaty of neutrality. 1940 France signed an armistice with Italy. 1940 TV cameras were used for the first time in a political convention as the Republicans convened in Philadelphia, PA. 1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pledged all possible support to the Soviet Union. 1948 The Soviet Union began the Berlin Blockade. 1955 Soviet MIG's down a U.S. Navy patrol plane over the Bering Strait. 1964 The Federal Trade Commission announced that starting in 1965, cigarette manufactures would be required to include warnings on their packaging about the harmful effects of smoking. 1968 "Resurrection City," a shantytown constructed as part of the Poor People's March on Washington D.C., was closed down by authorities. 1970 The U.S. Senate voted overwhelmingly to repeal the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. 1982 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that no president could be sued for damages connected with actions taken while serving as President of the United States. 1986 The Empire State Building was designated a National Historic Landmark. 1997 The U.S. Air Force released a report titled "The Roswell Report, Case Closed" that dismissed the claims that an alien spacecraft had crashed in Roswell, NM, in 1947. 1998 AT&T Corp. struck a deal to buy cable TV giant Tele- Communications Inc. for $31.7 billion. 2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that juries, not judges, must make the decision to give a convicted killer the death penalty. 2002 A painting from Monet's Waterlilies series sold for $20.2 million. 2003 In Paris, France, manuscripts by novelist Georges Simenon brought in $325,579. The original manuscript of "La Mort de Belle" raised $81,705. 2010 Apple released the iPhone 4. 2016 Do smiled. |
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