Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, September 15 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Porsche Driver Shot Homeless Man in Nashville, who had asked her to move her car.  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Sept 15 in 1984 The Bausell Sailor's pot of gold was born Happy Birthday! 1821 Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and El Salvador proclaimed independence. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 ______________________________________________________ I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on. --- Beryl Pfizer We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? --- Ray Bradbury (1920 ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers." And the congregation said, "Amen." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Johnny seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls." The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father." ______________________________________________________   Ocean City, Maryland. Photographer unknown. Picture sent in by the Bausell Sailor _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Katie Quackenbush, 26, Nashville, Tennessee  Porsche Driver Shot Homeless Man in Nashville, who had asked her to move her car.  A wanna-be country singer from Texas has been charged with the attempted murder of a homeless Tennessee man who asked her to move her Porsche. Police say 26-year-old Katie Quackenbush shot Gerald Melton, 54, after he complained about loud music and exhaust fumes from the Porsche SUV where she was sitting with a friend while he was trying to sleep on a sidewalk near Nashville's Music Row around 3am on Aug. 26, the AP reports. Police say that after a loud argument, Quackenbush got out of her vehicle with a gun and shot Melton twice in the abdomen before leaving the scene hurriedly without calling authorities. Melton is still in a Nashville hospital with critical injuries. Quackenbush's father, an attorney in Amarillo, of course gives a totally different version of events. Jesse Quackenbush says after Melton screamed threats in the vehicle's window and walked away, his daughter grabbed her gun to escort her friend back to her vehicle. He says when Melton walked toward her again, she closed her eyes and fired two "warning shots" before leaving, unaware she had injured the man. "She didn't try and kill this guy," he says. "She had no intention of killing him. She didn't know that she hit him." WSMV reports that Quackenbush, who was released on $25,000 bond after being charged Monday night, was arrested for assault in Texas in 2013 and again in December last year. She was dark haired at that time. Quackenbush has a 5 year old son.  Quackenbush has posted a screechy "song" on YouTube in 2015, but is not known for having actually sold any music.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Linda Re: AVG warning Dear Webby, Yesterday's advice about free AVG has to be taken with a big grain of salt! It too is a Broom Hilda! Unless it is the one and only anti virus program on the machine, it whines and accuses all others of being malware and even sabotages them! AVG Free can only be used, if it is the ONLY anti-virus program on the machine. Linda  Dear Linda Yes, you are right. Only use AVG if you can not afford any of the anti malware programs, that are good enough to sell for actual money. Have FUN! DearWebby    
 The teacher told the kids to draw a grassy meadow and a cow eating the grass. By the end of the hour, all the kids had some more or less artistic rendering of that topic, except for Do. Do had a blank page. So the teacher asked, "Where is your grass?" Do answered: "The cow ate it all." Then the teacher asked: "Where is the cow?" Do answered: "When there was no grass left, the cow walked away. 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Longer Lasting Paint Brushes When you buy a new paint brush, soak it in linseed oil for 12 hours before using it for the first time. This will extend the life of the paint brush and make it easier to clean. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Highly Illogical
 ____________________________________________________  Thanks to Ann for this story: My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self- promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance. Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced to those placards. "Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked. "That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?" "Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard, and I want you to come and get it." __________________________________________________  
 
 Slip N Slide BASE Jumping (gulp!) 
 ___________________________________________________ Moishe is being interrogated by the Russian Government: Govt. official: "If you had a yacht, what would you do with it?" Moishe: "Give it to Mother Russia." Govt. Official: "And if you had a palace, what would you do with it?" Moishe: "Give it to Mother Russia." Govt. Official: "And if you had a chicken, what would you do with it?" No reply. Government official asks the question again. And still no reply. Finally he shouts: "Moishe, why don't you reply?" Moishe: "Because I have a chicken." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ From Nora Thanks for the jokes!!! I love to laugh!!! Everything is better after you have a good laugh!!! You gotta find the humor in everything or life will suck the fun out of everything!!! Nora  ___________________________________________ 
 Today, Sept 15, in 1776 British forces occupied New York City during the American Revolution. 1821 Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and El Salvador proclaimed independence. 1853 Reverend Antoinette Brown Blackwell was ordained becoming first female minister in the United States. 1857 Timothy Alder earned a patent for the typesetting machine. 1858 The first mail service begins to the Pacific Coast of the U.S. under government contract. Coaches from the Butterfield Overland Mail Company took 12 days to make the journey between Tipton, MO and San Francisco, CA. 1909 Charles F. Kettering applied for a patent on his ignition system. His company Delco (Dayton Engineering Laboratories Company) later became a subsidiary of General Motors. 1916 During the Battle of the Somme, in France, tanks were first used in warfare when the British rolled them onto the battlefields. 1917 Alexander Kerensky proclaimed Russia to be a republic. 1923 Oklahoma was placed under martial law by Gov. John Calloway Walton due to terrorist activity by the Ku Klux Klan. After this declaration national newspapers began to expose the Klan and its criminal activities. 1928 Alexander Fleming discovered the antibiotic penicillin in the mold Penicillium notatum. 1935 The Nuremberg Laws were enacted by Nazi Germany. The act stripped all German Jews of their civil rights and the swastika was made the official symbol of Nazi Germany. 1940 The German Luftwaffe suffered the loss of 185 planes in the Battle of Britain. The change in tide forced Hitler to abandon his plans for invading Britain. 1949 "The Lone Ranger" premiered on ABC. Clayton Moore was the Lone Ranger and Jay Silverheels was Tonto. 1950 U.N. forces landed at Inchon, Korea in an attempt to relieve South Korean forces and recapture Seoul. 1953 The National Boxing Association adopted the 10-point scoring system for all of its matches. 1955 Betty Robbins became the first woman cantor. 1959 Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev arrived in the U.S. to begin a 13-day visit. 1961 The U.S. resumed underground testing of nuclear weapons. 1965 "Lost in Space" premiered on CBS TV. 1965 "Green Acres" premiered on CBS TV. 1971 Greenpeace was founded. 1978 Muhammad Ali defeated Leon Spinks to win his 3rd World Heavyweight Boxing title. 1983 The U.S. Senate joined the U.S. House of Representatives in their condemning of the Soviet Union for shooting down a Korean jet with 269 people onboard. 1990 France announced that it would send an additional 4,000 soldiers to the Persian Gulf. They also expelled Iraqi military attaches in Paris. 1993 The FBI announced a new national campaign concerning the crime of carjacking. 1994 U.S. President Clinton told Haiti's military leaders "Your time is up. Leave now or we will force you from power." 1995 The U.N. Fourth World Conference on Women was held in Beijing. 1997 The domain name "google.com" was registered. 1998 Ayatollah Ali Khamenei ordered the Iranian military to be on full alert and massed troops on its border with Afghanistan. 1998 It was announced that 5.9 million people read The Starr Report on the Internet. 606,000 people read the White House defense of U.S. President Clinton. 1999 The United Nations approved the deployment of a multinational peacekeeping force in East Timor. 2003 In Independence, MO, the birthplace of Ginger Rogers was designated a local landmark. The move by the Independence City Council qualified the home for historic preservation. 2012 Legoland Malaysia opened in Nusajaya, Johor, Malaysia. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog