Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, Sept 11 Thank you, Rock!!! ___________________________________________________ Q But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. --- Mark Twain ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Officer assaulted as facial recognition deployment sees wanted man identified in Soho ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 11, in 2001, In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally crashed. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center, which collapsed shortly after, in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. About 3,000 people were killed. ___________________________________________________ St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony. __________________________________________________ Ana __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ These are actual excuse notes to teachers from parents (including spelling): My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. ___________________________________________________ How many born-again Christians does it take to change a light bulb? One to change the bulb and about 500 to go outside and shout "I've seen the light!" __________________________________________________ Baby Grizzly ___________________________________________________ Laura was attending her High School reunion and was having a blast. As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates who had traveled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc. Laura wondered if she was going to get a prize too. Sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Laura, you win with 11 kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added in "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin." "Don't bother with the aspirin," Laura replied. "It's obvious with these many kids that I've never had a headache." ___________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Buzzy Re: Attachement Dear Webby CALLER: "Can I email an attachment to my daughter in France?" BUZZY: "Sure, if she has an email address and her ISP allows attachements. What is the size of the attachement?" CALLER: "Oh, a medium sized box. It has her Mothers day gifts in it and I don't want anything to get broken." TINA: "I'm sorry, Buzzy had to be taken to the hospital. Looks like he will need a hernia transplant." Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change. ___________________________________________________ A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ >From Erica I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen." _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock 26, London, England Officer assaulted as facial recognition deployment sees wanted man identified in Soho A man arrested by the Met after being caught by its controversial Live Facial Recognition (LFR) technology is still in custody after he attacked a police officer. The 26-year-old was picked up after officers used the technology, where cameras scan an area and analyse every person that passes through, in Wardour Street, Soho, on Saturday night. It identified him as being wanted for failing to appear for sentencing on May 5 at Thames Magistrates Court. He assaulted a police officer while being stopped and was arrrested on suspicion of assaulting an emergency worker and possession of drugs in addition to the original offence. The officer, a sergeant attached to the Mets Violent Crime Taskforce, was treated in hospital for head injuries and has been discharged. As expected, the criminal half of Britain is strenuously protesting the use of face recognition cameras. China, Japan, Singapore, Philippines and others have used them for years. The US will NOT use them, because they would interfere with looting, robberies and rapes. __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 11, in 1297, Scotsman William Wallace defeated the English forces of Sir Hugh de Cressingham at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. 1499, French forces took over Milan, Italy. 1609, Explorer Henry Hudson sailed into New York harbor and discovered Manhattan Island and the Hudson River. 1695, Imperial troops under Eugene of Savoy defeated the Turks at the Battle of Zenta. 1709, An Anglo-Dutch-Austrian force defeated the French in the Battle of Malplaquet. 1714, Spanish and French troops broke into Barcelona and ended Catalonia's sovereignty after 13 months of seige. 1776, A Peace Conference was held between British General Howe and three representatives of the Continental Congress (Benjamin Franklin, John Adams and Edward Rutledge). The conference failed and the American war for independence continued for seven years. 1777, American forces, under General George Washington, were forced to retreat at the Battle of Brandywine Creek by British forces under William Howe. The Stars and Stripes (American flag) were carried for the first time in the battle. 1786, The Convention of Annapolis opened with the aim of revising the articles of the confederation. 1789, Alexander Hamilton was appointed by U.S. President George Washington to be the first secretary of the treasury. 1814, The U.S. fleet defeated a squadron of British ships in the Battle of Lake Champlain, VT. 1842, 1,400 Mexican troops captured San Antonio, TX. The Mexicans retreated with prisoners. 1855, The siege of Sevastopol ended when French, British and Piedmontese troops captured the main naval base of the Russian Black fleet in the Crimean War. 1875, "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper. 1877, The first comic-character timepiece was patented by the Waterbury Clock Company. 1883, The mail chute was patented by James Cutler. The new device was first used in the Elwood Building in Rochester, NY. 1897, A ten-week strike of coal workers in Pennsylvania, WV, and Ohio came to an end. The workers won an eight-hour workday, semi-monthly pay, and company stores were abolished. 1904, The U.S. battleship Connecticut was launched in New York. 1910, In Hollywood, the first commercially successful electric bus line opened. 1926, In Honolulu Harbor, HI, the Aloha Tower was dedicated. 1936, Boulder Dam in Nevada was dedicated by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt by turning on the dam's first hydroelectric generator. The dam is now called Hoover Dam. 1941, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave orders to attack any German or Italian vessels found in U.S. defensive waters. The U.S. had not officially entered World War II at this time. 1941, Charles A. Lindbergh brought on charges of anti-Semitism with a speech in which he blamed "the British, the Jewish and the Roosevelt administration" for trying to draw the United States into World War II. 1941, In Arlington, VA, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Pentagon took place. 1951, Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the English Channel from both directions. 1952, Dr. Charles Hufnagel successfully replaced a diseased aorta valve with an artificial valve made of plastic. 1954, The Miss America beauty pageant made its network TV debut on ABC. Miss California, Lee Ann Meriwether, was the winner. 1959, The U.S. Congress passed a bill authorizing the creation of food stamps. 1965, The 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile) arrived in South Vietnam and was stationed at An Khe. 1974, "Little House On The Prairie" made its television debut. 1977, The Atari 2600 was released. It was originally sold as the Atari VCS. The system was discontinued on January 1, 1992. 1985, A U.S. satellite passed through the tail of the Giacobini-Zinner comet. It was the first on-the-spot sampling of a comet. 1990, U.S. President Bush vowed "Saddam Hussein will fail" while addressing Congress on the Persian Gulf crisis. In the speech Bush spoke of an objective of a new world order, "freer from the threat of terror, stronger in the pursuit of justice, and more secure in the quest for peace". 1991, Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev announced that thousands of troops would be drawn out of Cuba. 1997, Scotland voted to create its own Parliament after 290 years of union with England. 1998, Independent counsel Kenneth Starr sent a report to the U.S. Congress accusing President Clinton of 11 possible impeachable offenses. 1999, The Wall Street Journal reported that Bayer Corp. had quit putting a wad of cotton in their bottles of aspirin. Bayer had actually stopped the practice earlier in the year. 2001, In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally crashed. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center, which collapsed shortly after, in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. About 3,000 people were killed. 2012, Terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. Four Americans were brutally murdered and ten others were injured because Broom Hilda did not allow the Marines, who were close by, to help themn. 2023, Do smiled.
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