Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 20 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  PA lawyer and girlfriend took sexually explicit photos of drugged woman  ______________________________________________________ Today, December 20 in 1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent light at Menlo Park, NJ. 1990 The world's first website and server go live at CERN. The first website was http://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/TheProject.html. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. --- Stephen King (1947 - ) A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The first virtue of all really great men is that they are sincere. They eradicate hypocrisy from their hearts. --- Anatole France Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," the doctor said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ed Can't Win for Losing I use to go out with a lovely lady who was attending the local university striving for a PhD in her chosen field of medicine, Psychiatry. But I had to throw in the towel, cuz I just couldn't win. If I was late for a date, I was hostile. If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older-Person-Friendly" policies. One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang on job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome." "Yes, I know, boss, and I am working on it." "Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?" "They usually said, 'Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir?'" ______________________________________________________ Maijishan Caves, Tianshui, China _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lawrence Weinstein, left, and Kelly Drucker Doylestown, Pennsylvania. PA lawyer and girlfriend took sexually explicit photos of drugged woman Prosecutors say a former Pennsylvania township official and his girlfriend spiked a woman's drink and used a hidden camera to take sexually explicit photographs of her while she was unconscious. Lawrence Weinstein and Kelly Drucker are charged with false imprisonment, invasion of privacy, recklessly endangering another person, criminal conspiracy and violations of the Pennsylvania Wiretap Act. They surrendered to Bucks County detectives Tuesday. Weinstein is a lawyer who recently left his job as a Northampton Township supervisor. The Philadelphia Inquirer reports the plot came to light after Drucker's ex-husband noticed his teenage daughter had been given her mom's old phone. He discovered the texts detailing the plan. Investigators say they found photos on Weinstein's iPad showing him assaulting another unconscious woman in 2012. He's facing additional charges in that case.
From: Nora Re: Attach files to email Dear Webby, Could you explain how to send and attachment's. I have had my computer for 7 year's now and no one to show me how to do it. And sometime's there are thing's I would like to send on and I can't because I don't know how. If you could would you print it out so I can follow it in your column . I catch on really fast but that is one thing I don't even know how to start doing it. Nora Dear Nora I don't really know what email program you use. With Eudora, you simply drag a file from an Explorer or File Save window into the header area of a mail that you are writing, or onto the Eudora shortcut on your desktop. Or if you prefer to do it with just the keyboard, hit CTRL H, and a file browser opens to let you find and select what to attach. Eudora is one of the oldest email programs, and most others copied most or all of Eudora's code, and will therefore work similarly. Considering the ad on your mail, you might have Incredimail, which is sometimes called the funky great-granddaughter of Eudora and has inherited a lot from it. Chances are very good that the same procedure still works. Keep in mind that there are two ways to send pictures or movies: Embedded and Attached. Embedded are pictures showing inline like the pictures here. Attached are items like the Large picture here, that you have to click on a link to open it up. Usually, you can open a picture in your paint program, hit CTRL C to copy it, jump to your mail, and hit CTRL V to paste it. That trick has worked since about 1993. Attaching is usually used just for items too large to fit on a page, or for movies. To Attach, hit CTRL H, or whatever combo your email program uses, and browse to the item. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Hillary had been busy campaigning, and her last stop of the day was at a Senior Citizens Home. After walking in and looking around for a while she approached an elderly woman in a wheel chair. Bending over to be on eye level with her, she asked her "Do you know who I am?" The elderly lady gave her a good looking over, then told her "No I don't. You don't look familiar. Just go to the front desk, they will tell you who you are."
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Thanks to Georgina for this report: I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our kids to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. When she poured a small amount for my husband to taste, our six-year-old piped up, "Mom can drink a lot more than that!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Think Twice About to Rent-To-Own They offer expensive financing which will cost at least double for any products you buy. You are much better served by getting a loan from a credit union, using a low interest credit card, or better yet, saving money every month so you can buy the product outright. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Christmas miracles by West Jet.
___________________________________________________ About a year ago a friend, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?" "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Visiting the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington, D.C., my sister and I were admiring a beautiful tribal headdress decorated with eagle feathers. A man came up to us and identified himself as a Native American. "Do you know how warriors got those?" the man asked, pointing to the feathers. "They covered a hole with brush, tied a live rabbit on top of it and hid underneath. When an eagle swooped down for the kill, they would grab its wing or tail." "Fascinating," I said. "You learned that from your tribal elders?" "Actually, no," the man confessed. "I saw it on the Discovery Channel." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________
 Today December 20 in 1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the start of the first permanent English settlement in America. 1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be changed from September 1 to January 1. 1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States began operating at Pawtucket, RI. 1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included the Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million. The transfer was completed with formal ceremonies in New Orleans. 1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. The tax was $1 a year. 1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent light at Menlo Park, NJ. 1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" when it was lighted by electricity. 1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the pneumatic tire. 1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME. 1933 The film "Flying Down to Rio" was first shown in New York. 1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope television system. 1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare between Vietnam partisans and French troops began. 1954 Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer. Gleason agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year period for $6,142,500. 1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed again on January 6, 1964. 1973 The Spanish premier Carrero Blanco was assassinated in Madrid. 1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion. 1989 General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown by a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause. 1990 The world's first website and server go live at CERN. The first website was http://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/TheProject.html. 1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, Colombia, crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of the 163 people aboard. 1996 Doctors reported that a Cypriot woman who had taken fertility drugs was carrying about 11 embryos. 1998 In Houston, TX, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to the only known living set of octuplets. 1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded couples of the opposite sex. 1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred from Portugal to China. 2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan. 2001 Argentina's President Fernando De la Rua resigned after two years in power. 2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to help the nation heal after decades of war. 2018 Do smiled. 

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