Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 13 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! _____________________________________________________ Today, September 13 in 1943 Chiang Kai-shek became the president of China. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Pistols pulled over cold food at McDonald's _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. --- H. L. Mencken The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch. --- Michael Friedman _______________________________________________ A chemistry teacher walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist: "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?" "You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist. "That's it, I can never remember that word." ________________________________________________` TarsierI ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jawan Davis, 20, Jordon Dunn,20, Palm Coast, Floriduh Pistols pulled over cold food at McDonald's Two Florida nitwits are jailed on felony charges after they allegedly threatened a McDonald's drive-thru worker with guns because their hamburgers were cold, cops say. According to an arrest report, Jawan Davis and Jordon Dunn early yesterday brandished two pistols in a threatening manner while at the drive-thru window of a McDonald's in Palm Coast, a city 30 miles north of Daytona Beach. The men, both of whom are 20, became upset when a McDonald's worker brought out grub that was not warm enough for their liking. The men told the employee that they wanted their food-- which included five burgers--remade. According to police, one of the men explained that, I don't play about my food. This point was allegedly emphasized when Davis and Dunn pulled out two pistols in a threatening manner for employee Tyrone Walker to see. The worker, who agreed to provide Davis and Dunn with fresh food, called 911 while the pair sat in their Ford Fusion waiting for hot burgers. When cops arrived around 4 AM, Davis and Dunn were arrested at gunpoint by sheriff's deputies who surrounded the pair's vehicle. While acknowledging they were upset about the cold food, Dunn and Davis claimed that they were only joking around when they displayed the weapons to the McDonald's worker. Dunn reportedly told police that Davis got mad about the burgers and grabbed the Springfield handgun and began waving it around towards the drive thru window. Davis, Dunn said, waved the firearm above the driver side window so it could be seen. Dunn, who was in the front passenger seat, added that he pulled out his BB gun approximately two times but kept it down by his lap. Davis, cops reported, told them he pulled the black gun out from under the driver's seat and began waving the gun around. A search of the car turned up a stolen handgun, a BB gun, and some marijuana (for which Dunn claimed ownership). Dunn told cops, I ain't no bad person as he was being placed in the rear of a police cruiser. Pictured above, Davis (top) and Dunn were arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon--and other assorted felony and misdemeanor charges--and booked into the county jail. Davis is being held in lieu of $13,000 bond, while Dunn will need to post $10,500 to secure his release. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Veronica Re: Are ALL auto respnders stoopid? Dear Webby, I agree with you that they are stoopid. I won't mention them, so that my mail won't get trashed, unseen. Are there ANY exceptions where they are legit and useful? Veronica Dear Veronica Well, there ARE a few exceptions. For example, if you have a baby, and everybody, who is vaguely related to you or the father, plus all the gossips in town, calls you twice a day for updates. Instead of wasting a lot of time telling them all where to go, you can put detailed and longwinded updates onto an auto r. Eventualy they will simmer down.. Another exeption is updates regarding a flood or hurricane. If everybody and their dog knows that you go home two minutes before 5 PM, telling them that all evening is rather silly. After 5 PM only telemarketers hear your message. While it would be cool to have your text-to-speech reader reading your collection of 2000 rude cuss words to telemarketers, some dreary morning you will forget to turn that off. Guess who will call then! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. The Social Studies teacher had just finished a unit on World War II and had spent some time on the differences between war and peace. "How many of you," she asked her class, "would say that you are against war?" Not surprisingly, every hand in the room went up. The teacher then asked, "Who can give us a reason for being against war?" A rather large, bored-looking boy toward the back of the class raised his hand. "Sammy?" the teacher called upon him. "I'm against war," he said, "because wars make history. And I HATE history!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning 'til night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and un- bothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied:"Sorry, I can't hear a thing. The battery in my hearing aid went dead ten years ago." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Storing Lettuce Store lettuce with a paper towel and it will last longer. The paper towel will absorb moisture. If you are storing lettuce in a container, line the bottom of the container with a layer of paper towels. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Wildlife photographer of the year finalists |
___________________________________________________ A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" John answered, "Mom." ___________________________________________________ Tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. Tell a woman something, it goes past both of her ears. Whisper something near a woman, it goes in in both her ears and comes out of the mouth of every woman in town. ___________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?" He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 13 in 1759 The French were defeated by the British on the Plains of Abraham in the final French and Indian War. 1789 The United States Government took out its first loan. 1847 U.S. forces took the hill Chapultepec during the Mexican- American War. 1862 During the American Civil War General Lee's Order No. 191 was found by federal soldiers in Maryland. 1898 Hannibal Williston Goodwin patented celluloid photographic film, which is used to make movies. 1922 In El Azizia, Libya, the highest shade temperature was recorded at 58 degrees Celsius (136.4 degrees Fahrenheit). 1935 Aviator Howard Hughes, Jr., of Houston, set a new airspeed record of 352 mph with his H-1 airplane (Winged Bullet). 1943 Chiang Kai-shek became the president of China. 1959 The Soviet Union's Luna 2 became the first space probe to reach the moon. It was launched the day before. 1960 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission banned payola. 1970 The first New York City Marathon took place. Fireman Gary Muhrucke won the race. 1971 In New York, National Guardsmen stormed the Attica Correctional Facility and put an end to the four-day revolt. A total of 43 people were killed in the final assault. A committee was organized to investigate the riot on September 30, 1971. 1977 The first American diesel automobiles were introduced by General Motors. Mercedes had been selling Diesel cars and trucks since the 50's. 1981 U.S. Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig said the U.S. had physical evidence that Russia and its allies used poisonous biological weapons in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan. 1988 Forecasters reported that Hurricane Gilbert's barometric pressure measured 26.13. It was the strongest hurricane ever recorded in the Western Hemisphere. 1993 Israel and Palestine signed their first major agreement. Palestine was granted limited self-government in the Gaza Strip and in Jericho. 1998 The New York Times closed its Web site after hackers added offensive material. 2001 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in the U.S. for the first time in two days. 2019 Do smiled. |
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