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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Alaskan arrested after he repeatedly hits sled dogs in Iditarod race with his snowmobile Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 17, in 0461 Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul. Ireland celebrates this day in his honor. ______________________________________________________ Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) This is like deja vu all over again. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sue's husband went on a sudden business trip, and she accompanied him. It soon became apparent that he could not wrap things up in one day, so his employer put them up for the night in a luxury hotel. They found a convenience store and purchased toothbrushes, a razor and other necessary items. Finally they entered the lobby of the hotel, each of them toting a brown paper bag filled with supplies. The hotel manager looked them over. Raising an eyebrow, he intoned haughtily, "Would you like a bellboy to carry your matching luggage to your room ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The primary school teacher was preparing the class for their annual concert. Some children were to sing songs, others recite poetry and some to play musical instruments. Little Alfie had just come down from the country and the teacher asked him if he would like to do some farmyard impressions. Alfie thought this was a great idea. On the night of the concert, Alfie nervously walked onto the stage. The teacher announced: "Now Alfie is going to do some farmyard impressions and share with us the most memorable sounds he heard on the farm." Then, cupping his hands to his mouth, Alfie yelled at the top of his voice, "Get the @#$% off that f@#$%n' tractor!" ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carlos Adonis Ramos-Erazo, 24, Clermont, Florida Speeding driver arrested for resisting and relieving himself in the patrol car When Carlos Adonis Ramos-Erazo was pulled over for driving 75 mph in a 55 mph zone, the 24-year-old allegedly said he was rushing to get home because he had "to go No. 2," according to the police report. The officer apparently thought the excuse was crappy, in part because he said he smelled unburnt marijuana in the vehicle. Ramos-Erazo was asked to step out of the car, but he refused numerous times. Police said Ramos-Erazo managed to lock the car door and drive away from the scene. The officer followed in hot pursuit. Before Ramos-Erazo got to his house, he allegedly threw something out of his car window. The item was never located by deputies, but the arresting officer said he believed it was the marijuana he smelled when he first approached the suspect's car. When Ramos-Erazo got home, he attempted to get inside, but the officer was close behind. The officer fired a Taser after Ramos-Erazo allegedly reached into his waistband with his right hand. Despite being struck in the back with prongs, Ramos-Erazo refused to follow officer commands until he was subdued, according to the arrest report. That might be how he got that bruise on his head. Officers searched the suspect's car for marijuana. They said they only found a small amount of shake. While en route to Lake County Jail, Ramos-Erazo allegedly pooped and urinated on himself in the patrol car. "The damage was mostly in man hours dedicated to cleaning the car," said Fred Jones, a spokesman for the Lake County Sheriff's Dept. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Regina Re: AOL to Eudora or Thunderbird Dear Webby Yes, it is true. Verizon got so fed up with all the complaining and bitching and threatening about the way they handled email, that they spent over 4 BILLION bucks to buy AOL. AOL is used to a lot of bitching and threats of violence. My question is, can I handle the AOL mail with Eudora or Thunderbird? How do I set them up? Regina Dear Regina Same as with Outlook, use IMAP settings. Too much in AOL mail is graphical doodads that don't work well in POP formation. incoming IMAP server: imap.aol.com port: 993 Connection security: SSL/TLS Authentication: Normal password User name: the part of your address before @ outgoing SMTP server: smtp.aol.com port: 465 Connection security: SSL/TLS Authentication: Normal password User name: the part of your address before @ Simple enough with those two programs. With Verizon downgrading their email to AOL, it will be extremely important to get proper spam protection like MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Interesting: 11% of Americans can't find the US on a world map. 11 % of 280 Million is about 32 Million. hmmm, AOL claims to have 32 Million subscribers. Coincidence ? (Those numbers might be a bit out of date) ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheesy Baked Ziti By cherriefic [2 Posts] It's my own version of baked ziti that Italian restaurants serve. If you make it at home, you can save a lot. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 8 Ingredients: 250 mg Penne Regate Gourmet Pasta 200 mg 3 cheese tomato sauce 1/2 lb cheddar cheese, grated 1/4 lb bacon strips, crushed 1 clove garlic, chopped 1 small piece of onion, chopped 1/4 lb butter, sliced salt and pepper to taste Steps: Bring the water to a boil for the pasta. Make sure you add a little bit of oil and a pinch of salt to make your pasta perfect. Once cooked, drain water and pour cold water over to stop pasta being overcooked. Drain again and set aside. Heat saucepan on stove to medium heat. Melt butter and fry bacon strips. Once bacon is crispy, set aside to cool. In the same saucepan, add more butter until melted. Saute' garlic and onions. Pour in the three cheese sauce and bring it to boil. Assemble casserole in a baking pan. Alternate pasta, sauce and grated cheddar cheese. Repeat until all ingredients are in the pan. Top with more cheese covering most of the surface. Bake at 325 degrees F until all the cheese has melted. ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps." ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The doctor was examining a young model who was having tremendous pain in her side. "My dear, you have acute appendicitis," the doctor said. The woman became quite angry and said, "Don't try flirting with me, I just want to be examined, not complimented." ____________________________________________________ Jill and John boarded a crowded subway car on their way home to Brooklyn. Standing next to them was a man who'd clearly had a liquid lunch. When the doors opened at the next station, the man, who had been leaning onto the door, tumbled out and landed flat on his beak. John rushed to his side, picked him up, and hauled him back into the car. As the train was pulling away, the man mumbled to Jill and John, "That wasch my schtop." ____________________________________________________ | David Madero does welding art and its incredible! |
| Today on March 17 0461 Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul. Ireland celebrates this day in his honor. 1756 St. Patrick's Day was celebrated in New York City for the first time. The event took place at the Crown and Thistle Tavern. 1776 British forces evacuated Boston to Nova Scotia during the Revolutionary War. 1884 In Otay, California, John Joseph Montgomery made the first manned, controlled, heavier-than-air glider flight in the United States. 1886 20 Blacks were killed in the Carrollton Massacre in Mississippi. 1891 The British steamer Utopia sank off the coast of Gibraltar. 1909 In France, the communications industry was paralyzed by strikes. 1910 The Camp Fire Girls organization was founded by Luther and Charlotte Gulick. It was formally presented to the public exactly 2 years later. 1914 Russia increased the number of active duty military from 460,000 to 1,700,000. 1930 Al Capone was released from jail. 1944 During World War II, the U.S. bombed Vienna. 1950 Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley announced that they had created a new radioactive element. They named it "californium". It is also known as element 98. 1958 The Vanguard 1 satellite was launched by the U.S. 1959 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) fled Tibet and went to India. 1962 Moscow asked the U.S. to pull out of South Vietnam. 1966 A U.S. submarine found a missing H-bomb in the Mediterranean off of Spain. 1970 The U.S. Army charged 14 officers with suppression of facts in the My Lai massacre case. 1973 The first American prisoners of war (POWs) were released from the "Hanoi Hilton" in Hanoi, North Vietnam. 1982 In El Salvador, four Dutch television crewmembers were killed by government troops. 1985 U.S. President Reagan agreed to a joint study with Canada on acid rain. 1989 A series of solar flares caused a violent magnetic storm that brought power outages over large regions of Canada. 1992 In Buenos Aires, 10 people were killed in a suicide car-bomb attack against the Israeli embassy. 1999 A panel of medical experts concluded that marijuana had medical benefits for people suffering from cancer and AIDS. 1999 The International Olympic Committee expelled six of its members in the wake of a bribery scandal. 2000 In Kanungu, Uganda, a fire at a church linked to the cult known as the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments killed more than 530. On March 31, officials set the number of deaths linked to the cult at more than 900 after authorities subsequently found mass graves at various sites linked to the cult. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 800 million applications downloaded. 2016 Do smiled. |
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