Good Morning, Do! Today is Tusday, January 5 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Former paramedic gets 13 years for ambulance sex assault. ___________________________________________________ Today, January 5 in 1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. _____________________________________________________ Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: As a new grandmother, I am very protective of my daughter Meredith's baby girl. One cool afternoon I dropped by to see my grandchild. Meredith and a friend had taken little Allison for a walk in her stroller and were just coming up the street. As soon as they reached me, I bent down to admire Allison and, in my fussiest voice, remarked, "Your little head is cold. You should have a hat on." My daughter looked knowingly at her friend and said, "You owe me ten bucks." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Swine Flu ALERT! Everyone should be aware that there is a possibility of another outbreak of swine flu during the next few months. Please be conscious of the indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the Swine Flu Virus. The symptoms associated with this disease are: 1.) Sore throat. 2.) Slight headache. 3.) Moderate to high temperature. 4.) Nausea or upset stomach. 5.) Uncontrollable urge to screw in the mud. __________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeffrey Sanford Jr, 48, Champaign, Illinois, USA Former paramedic gets 13 years for ambulance sex assault A veteran paramedic who used his position to scout for victims has been sentenced to 13 years in prison for sexually assaulting a woman in an ambulance. Judge Randy Rosenbaum said Jeffrey Sanford Jr. had two sides: the public person who worked hard as a medical professional to support his family and the private person who took advantage of those with physical and psychological problems who he thought wouldnt be believed. He has destroyed the public trust in calling for an ambulance, Rosenbaum said of the 48-year-old Gifford man whom he convicted in an October bench trial of criminal sexual assault. Sanford faced four to 15 years in prison and will have to serve 85 percent, or 11 years. Although he was convicted of only one criminal act forcing a 49-year-old suicidal woman to perform oral sex on him in an OSF Pro Ambulance on July 21, 2019 Assistant States Attorney Kristin Alferink presented evidence linking Sanford to sexually inappropriate conduct with a 10-year-old girl in his home, an adult woman who had called for an ambulance and an 89-year- old woman with dementia. The victim of Sanfords crime read her three-minute impact statement to the judge, describing herself as very paranoid and unable to leave her home, be in small spaces or sleep well. You took and raped my spirit as well, said the wife, mother and grandmother. How will I get back in a vehicle that was supposed to save my life? A teenage girl who was a guest in Sanfords home years ago when she was 10 described him masturbating in front of her and asking her to touch him. She refused. Her mother testified that the experience changed her formerly outgoing, happy child. She became very withdrawn, was mean to other girls at school, started self-harming and wouldnt go anywhere alone, she said, adding that her child has also attempted to take her own life. Champaign County sheriffs investigator Tim Beckett said he interviewed a woman who, after reading of Sanfords crime in the newspaper, reported in January 2020 that Sanford came to her home the morning after an ambulance transport to check on her and asked to have sex. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Alternatives to Norton Dear Webby, what do you recommend instead of Norton??? I have norton along with my DSL from AT&T Bob Dear Bob During the DOS era and the first 10 years of Windows, I was a Norton fan. Then Norton was advertising that it takes Norton to make Windows work right. Quite predictably that irked Bill Gates, and relations between Norton and Microsoft became rather strained. In addition to that, somebody spilled, that Norton was marking a part of the hard drive as bad, thereby putting it off-limit and not accessible, and that they were storing secret info there. Well, that really irked me! Marking the best part of my hard drive as bad and acessible only by Norton, that was too sleazy for me! So, like many people, I got rid of Norton. For a long time McAfee was the Best. Then came W7, and McAfee would not run on W7-Pro. After almost 2 hours arguing with their Taliban, they admitted that THEY were using Malwarebytes. So I dumped McAfee and installed MalwareBytes. Have been happy with it ever since. Have FUN! DearWebby Nurse: "Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?" Doctor: "Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning." ____________________________________________ A guy goes to the doctor due to a hangnail. He walks in, tells the nurse what is wrong and she immediately tells him: "Go into the cubicle on the left and take off all your clothes. The doctor will be with you shortly." Wondering why this problem would require one to undress, he nontheless complies. After a few minutes, he becomes aware someone is in the cubicle next to his, separated only by a curtain. He peeks and there is another guy standing there undressed. He attracts the man's attention, then asks "Why do you suppose that nurse told me to take off all my clothes? I only have a hangnail?" The other man replied, "No idea, I'm just the UPS man trying to deliver a package." ____________________________________________ An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 5 in 1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition led by Benedict Arnold. 1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation of farm wagons on trains. 1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspapers that Wilhelm Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became known as X-rays. 1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond called for a revolt against British rule. 1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for the very first time. 1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 1925 Mrs. Nellie Taylor Ross was sworn in as the governor of Wyoming She was the first female governor in the U.S. 1933 In California, construction of the Golden Gate Bridge began. 1935 Phil Spitalnys All-Girl Orchestra was featured on CBS radio on the program, "The Hour of Charm." 1940 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) got its very first demonstration of FM radio. 1944 The London "Daily Mail" was the first transoceanic newspaper to be published. 1948 Warner Brothers-Pathe showed the very first color newsreel. The footage was of the Tournament of Roses Parade and the Rose Bowl football classic. 1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two legs for the first time. 1961 "Mr. Ed" debuted. The show would run for six years. 1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the development of the space shuttle. 1987 U.S. President Ronald Reagan underwent prostate surgery. 1993 The state of Washington executed Westley Allan Dodd. It was America's first legal hanging since 1965. Dodd was an admitted child sex killer. 1996 Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, is killed by a booby-trapped cellular phone. 1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono died in skiing accident. 2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, crashed a small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. Bishop was about to begin a flying lesson when he took off without permission and without an instructor. 2021 Do smiled. |
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