Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, October 24 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Fresno mother murdered, suspect shot by police _____________________________________________________ Today, October 24 in 2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all of a person's telephone conversation and track people's use of the Internet. _____________________________________________________ Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. --- Russell Baker (1925 - ) _____________________________________________________ Two drunks enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night- clerk, and one of them says: "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?" "You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk. "Whatever, whatever you shay." So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door. "Ahh," says one, "Now we can get some sleep at last." As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed. "Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says one of them. "There's somebody in my bed too!" says the other. "Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the beds!" says the first. They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually one of them throws the other on the floor. "ALL RIGHT!!" he shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed." "You're lucky," says the other, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired to fight any more." "Well, never mind," says the first, "Why don't you just come and share my bed. Let's get some sleep round here." _____________________________________________________ Wild horses near Sundre, Alberta Tamara Taylor ___________________________________________________ Bob and Bill were sitting in a bar, and Bob was looking really down in the dumps. "What's the matter?" Bill asked. "I don't' get it," Bob sighed. "The dating scene is so confusing. There are so many damn people you have to please. "Like this one woman, she liked me, her mom liked me, but her father hated me. "Then there was this other woman, both of her parents really liked me, but SHE didn't like me. "And then there was this woman I met last night. She absolutely loved me, her parents seemed to really like me too, BUT her husband couldn't stand me!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Elmer Rolando Manzano-Martinez, 51, Houston, Texas, USA ICE Puts Detainer on Accused Houston Cop-Killer Illegally Present in U.S. A Salvadoran national with a criminal history in Dallas and Houston allegedly shot and killed a 41-year veteran Houston police sergeant Tuesday. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials placed a detainer on the accused cop-killer due to his reported illegal presence in the United States. Elmer Rolando Manzano-Martinez, 51, is a citizen of El Salvador and convicted criminal alien who is unlawfully present in the U.S. On Oct. 20, officers from U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcements (ICE) Enforcement and Removal Operations (ERO) in Houston, Texas, placed an immigration detainer with the Harris County (Texas) Sheriffs Office (HCSO) on Manzano-Martinez after he was arrested for murder. Houston police officers responded to a call on the citys south side Tuesday morning. It was at least the third time officers had been called to this residence in the past two weeks for domestic disturbances, according to Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo. The wife of 51-year-old Elmer Rolando Manzano called police when she could not get into the home to get her belongings. After about an hour, Manzanos 14-year-old son unlocked the door from outside and saw his father with a pistol. The suspect immediately engaged officers, shooting multiple rounds striking Officer Courtney Waller in the arm and striking Officer (Harold) Preston multiple times, Chief Acevedo told reporters at an afternoon press conference. Sergeant Harold Preston died from multiple wounds to the head and a shoulder wound that embedded into his spine, the chief stated. Chief Acevedo identified Manzano as the alleged shooter and said he has a criminal history. A U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement official told Breitbart Texas on condition of anonymity that they placed an immigration detainer on Manzano, a citizen of El Salvador, after determining he was illegally present in the United States. The official said Manzano has no deportation history. Court records from Houston and Dallas obtained by Breitbart Texas show Manzano has multiple felonies dating back to 1996. The 230th Criminal District Court in Houston convicted Manzano in 2002 for Felony Evading Arrest with a Motor Vehicle. The court sentenced him to 120 days in jail. In Dallas County, records show Manzano pleaded guilty to Felony Assault with Bodily Injury. In 1996, he faced a felony firearm charge related to possession of a handgun. Acevedo said Sgt. Preston served the Houston Police Department for 41 years. He called the man an exemplary officer who led from the front. The Houston police chief said Manzano will likely face multiple charges including murder of a police officer. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mary RE: Flash Players Dear Webby: LOL, I won't. Could you recommend a couple flash players please? Have a great day and please stay safe!! Smiles... Mary Dear Mary Try one of these 9: 9 best Flash Players Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Bill Last time I was in the hospital, I really enjoyed myself: Patting the bottoms of the pretty nurses, offering to show them my circumcision scar, and the like. One nurse finally had all she could stand of my crude behaviour and said, "A pervert like you should be living in a whore house!" I grinned at her and said, "Well, it WOULD be cheaper than here, but I can't get my insurance to pay for it." ____________________________________________ The Irish priest was at the altar one dreary Sunday morning, addressing his congregation with a vehement sermon that alcohol was the work of the devil. "As an example," he stated during his sermon, "If you were to lead a donkey to a bowl of water and a bowl of whiskey, from which would he drink?" A grizzled old Mick at the back of the church spoke up: "Aye, Father, for sure he'd drink from the water." The priest, elated, said, "Very good, my son. And can you tell me WHY he'd drink from the water?" The Irishman at the back of the church replied, "Sure I can tell ye' why, Father. Because he's an ass." ____________________________________________ A friend of mine was visiting a college, which had those security call boxes every few hundred feet. If you were wandering around the campus at night and felt uneasy about somebody following you, for instance, you could hit the button and have a security officer investigate immediately. On one of these phones hung a sign that said, "Out of Order." Underneath it someone had scrawled, "Keep Running." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 24 in 1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years War. 1795 The country of Poland was divided up again between Austria, Prussia, and Russia. 1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous friction safety match. 1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a telegram to U.S. President Lincoln. 1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years old. 1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million shares on the stock market. The day is known as "Black Tuesday." 1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened for traffic between New York and New Jersey. 1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first time in Wilmington, DE. 1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. 1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less than a month after the end of World War II. The Charter was ratified by China, France, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, the United States and by a majority of other signatories. 1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It was in a speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War Investigating Committee. 1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and foreign- owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. 1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S. blockade of Cuba officially began on this day. 1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 69-carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton presented the ring to Taylor several days later. 1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the attack on the Israeli jetliner. 1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to win the World Series. 2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all of a person's telephone conversation and track people's use of the Internet. 2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered orbit around Mars. 2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the release of an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney content. 2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde flight landed. 2020 Do smiled. |
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