Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, June 30 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Noella just told me that she has so far sent 582 videeo links. Thanks, Noella! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Beloved pet killed after Alabama man shoots into neighbor's apartment Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 29 in 1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for Japanese aid. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Life is a long lesson in humility. --- James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937) Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --- Robert Benchley ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Dianne sent me her favorite elephant stew recipe: Dianne's Homemade Elephant Stew 1 elephant (med. size) 2 rabbits (optional) 300 Bay Leaves salt and pepper to taste water (lots of it) kerosene Cut elephant into bite size pieces. Add enough water to cover. Salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over kerosene fire about 4 days. or until tender. Serves 3,800 people. NOTE: If more people come than expected, the 2 rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary, because most people don't like hare in their stew. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the smiling bride arriving at the church, the happily laughing bride at the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "it's like halloween, right, but backwards. Mommy put on a nice disguise and had a pretty woman's face painted on top of hers, so that you would not see how scarey she really is. " ______________________________________________________ Lake Louise, Alberta _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Grant Sides, 25, Birmingham, Alabama Beloved pet killed after Alabama man shoots into neighbor's apartment A Birmingham man is jailed after he reportedly opened fire inside his Highland Park apartment, killing his own dog and a dog who was asleep on the bed in the adjacent apartment. Grant Randall Sides, 25, was sought on felony warrants for a shooting complaint and two counts of aggravated cruelty to animals, according to a Crime Stoppers bulletin. Birmingham police investigated the incident, and felony warrants were obtained against him on Friday. Sides was undergoing booking at the Jefferson County Jail at 4 p.m. Monday. His bond is set at $30,000. The shooting happened about 3:30 p.m. Friday, May 26, at an apartment complex on 22nd Street South. Brandon Watkins said he was at work when his landlord called him saying his neighbor Sides had fired shots and they believe some of those bullets had entered Watkins' home. Watkins has one dog of his own, and was keeping his brother's two dogs while he and his family were out of town on vacation. He rushed home to find crime scene tape surrounding the complex. "When I got there, they let me know he had shot his dog and had shot rounds in my apartment,'' he said. "One of my brother's dogs was hit and killed." Two of the pets in Watkins' apartment were in kennels. The third 12-year-old Walter was asleep on Watkins' bed. The shooting happened in Sides' kitchen, which shares a wall with Watkins' bedroom, and the bullet bore through his pillow. At least six shots bore through his wall. "If it had been later in the night, he would have killed me," Watkins said. "Walter was on my pillow where I sleep." Neighbors told Watkins that after Sides fired the shots, he ran out of the apartment yelling that he killed someone and fled the scene. He was arrested moments later when he crashed his vehicle on Highland Avenue, but apparently made bond pending the ongoing investigation. "It's been kind of crazy," Watkins said. "It's all been a blur." Watkins said he had to call and break the news to his brother, who turned around and headed back to Birmingham. "My niece is really upset,'' he said. "She's 9 and Walter was 12 so that's all she's ever known." He said there's still blood on his carpet from where Walter collapsed after getting shot. His own dog, Lennie, is still suffering from the ordeal. "He's traumatized,'' he said. "He won't go back there." Walter's owner, Colby Watkins, said the whole thing is a sad and avoidable situation. "My friends and family are heartbroken over the loss of Walter, but it pales in comparison to the disgust and and anger about this guy killing his own dog in his own kitchen, and the blatant disregard for those around him by firing his gun indiscriminately into other people's homes,'' he said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Alarm timer Dear Webby, Once again I need your expertise. Could you please recommend a good Desk Top Timer? One that doesn't put a lot of other junk on the computer. Thanks in advance for you expert help. Dani Dear Dani I use Alarm.exe since about 1997 It is at http://bluefive.pairsite.com/ However, that site often requires a lot of patience. That site is way overloaded and sometimes difficult. If you have trouble getting Alarm.Exe from there, let me know and I will send you a copy of mine. I don't send attachments uninvited. Or you can download it from my Tools page at http://webby.com/tools Just scroll way down to where you see a screen shot of it. It is old-fashioned FREEware. No payload or bullshit attached, just a plain and simple alarm clock. You set the time, and when the time comes, it pops up and makes a racket. You can leave it at it's default siren, or select any sounds that you have. You can even set it to start a program or if you have a USB powered relay, you can set it to start the pump or valve for watering the garden. You can set it to repeat, like I got mine set to go off every day at a quarter to noon, because my dad comes onto Skype video at noon. That's it. No ads, no browser redirect or search redirect, absolutely nothing on the side. Just a reliable little alarm. It folds away into an icon in the right bottom ^ (More) link until it goes off. Then it pops up, shows the time and makes a racket. Have FUN! DearWebby A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,"Thou shall not kill." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Separate Spatulas When Washing While working as an airline customer-service agent, I got a call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her dog on board. I told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50 charge and provided her own kennel. I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over. "I'll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!" she said, and hung up. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ "Here's something that will really make you feel grown up," said a father to his teenage daughter, "Your very own phone bill." ___________________________________________________ | | How to keep flies out of your house this summer. |
___________________________________________________ A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said " Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?", the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ >From Eda Over the weekend I happened to catch a glimpse of some National Dog Show event as I flipped through the channels. The dog on the screen at the time was a white English sheepdog. It was simply a mound of fur with four legs. The judge was brushing back the dog's hair so she could look at the animal's eyes. The TV announcer was explaining that each dog has to have its eyes checked to make sure they're the right shape, color, etc., etc. Another announcer chimed in with, "Well, plus the judge has to see if the dog HAS both of its eyes. 'Cuz if you start combing through hair and you only see ONE eye . . . you're looking at the wrong end of the dog." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on June 30, in 1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum. 1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train. 1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope. 1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for Japanese aid. 1908 A meteor explosion in Siberia knocked down trees in a 40- mile radius and struck people unconscious some 40 miles away. 1912 Belgian workers went on strike to demand universal suffrage. 1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and Spain. It was the beginning of the Second Balkan War. 1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended when the French failed to take Vimy Ridge. 1921 U.S. President Warren G. Harding appointed former President William Howard Taft chief justice of the United States. 1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, the British deputy for Northern Ireland. 1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany's Rhineland. 1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the SA and bringing to power the SS in the "Night of the Long Knives." 1935 Fascists caused an uproar at the League of Nations when Haile Selassie of Ethiopia speaks. 1936 Margaret Mitchell's book, "Gone with the Wind," was published. 1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into Korea and authorizes the draft. 1951 On orders from Washington, General Matthew Ridgeway broadcasts that the United Nations was willing to discuss an armistice with North Korea. 1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250. 1955 The U.S. began funding West Germany's rearmament as a first line buffer against the Soviet Union. 1957 The American occupation headquarters in Japan was dissolved. 1958 The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the admission of Alaska as the 49th state in the Union. 1960 The Katanga province seceded from Congo (upon Congo's independence from Belgium). 1964 The last of U.N. troops left Congo after a four-year effort to bring stability to the country. 1971 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the government could not prevent the Washington Post or the New York Times from publishing the Pentagon Papers. 1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The three cosmonauts were found dead inside. The capsule sprung a leak when it re-entered the atmosphere. 1974 Russian ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov defected in Toronto, Canada. 1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition to the B-1 bomber. 1984 The longest professional football game took place in the United States Football League (USFL). The Los Angeles Express beat the Michigan Panthers 27-21 after 93 minutes and 33 seconds. 1985 Yul Brynner left his role as the King of Siam after 4,600 performances in "The King and I." 1986 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that states could outlaw homosexual acts between consenting adults. 1994 The U.S. Figure Skating Association stripped Tonya Harding of the 1994 national championship and banned her from the organization for life for an attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan. 2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill to give the same legal validity to an electronic signature as a signature in pen and ink. 2004 The international Cassini spacecraft entered Saturn's orbit. The craft had been on a nearly seven-year journey. 2017 Do smiled. |
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