Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, December 14 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman ran up a huge hotel bill and was busted for not paying Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, December 13 in 1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his revolutionary Quantum Theory. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Health food makes me sick. --- Calvin Trillin (1935 - ) If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person, they will find an easier way to do it. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom observing her students while they draw. One little girl is working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what she is working on. "I'm drawing God," the child says. The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replies, "They will in a minute." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ While I was attending a Law course, the 'Audi alteram parten' rule was explained to us. Translated it means "To hear the other party" After discussing the subject at great length, the lecturer asked if anyone didn't understand the rule. Responded one man "My Wife" ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Most Yuppette's have no use for men who try to mess up the country's economy by living within their income. I've noticed the oddest behavior of Yuppettes. The only time they won't look into a mirror is when they're pulling out of a parking space. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Margaret Pryor, 50, St Johns Florida Florida woman ran up a huge hotel bill and was busted for not paying The st. Johns county sheriff's office said a homeless woman stayed at the courtyard marriott in st. Augustine beach and racked up a $4,000 bill that she failed to pay. Police said margaret pryor, 50, stayed in room 233 from nov. 8 to nov. 29 before she was finally asked to leave. She had paid only $150 of a bill that eventually totaled $3,951.278. Pryor is in the st. Johns county jail on $1,500 bail. She faces felony fraud charges. A dog that was left in the hotel room was taken to dogtown usa in in st. Augustine. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rhonda Re: AIM Triton nuisance Dear Webby, I enjoy receiving your humor newsletter! I notice you have given advice about some computer questions. I have one. I have been receiving an active update for Aim Triton 1.5 Preview that appears as a popup. I have Aim instant messenger but do not want the Triton update. The problem is, I cannot get rid of the active update from popping up every little bit. There is no delete button with it. There is a view history which will call up a box which lists the Triton preview, which I highlight and delete. But shortly thereafter the update will pop up again. I cannot fine an e-mail address to send to the Aim company with my complaint. How do I get rid of this nuisance? Thank you for any help! Ronda Edith Dear Rhonda Yes, I do answer computer questions. That's how I got stuck with the "DearWebby" nickname in the late 80s and early 90s. I think AIM Triton has gone out of fashion. Most likely what you got is some kind of malicious infection. AIM is AOL Instant Messenger. Contact AOL support and find out if the pop-up is really theirs, or some other nuisance trying to cash in on a recognized name. You can also use MalwareBytes and scan your machine for malware. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. "Oh, No!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny! Danny!" he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!" From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard. "It's time to get up," the man sighed, "and, for heaven's sake, clean up this room!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!" One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!" The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Marked Down Meat Grocery stores mark down meat when it gets near its "sell by" date. There is nothing wrong with the meat, the grocery store just needs to move it before the "sell by" date has passed. If you are shopping for tonight's dinner then this meat can be real bargain. If you don't plan on eating the meat quickly, freeze it for future use. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> Most meats are "doctored" to appear red and fresh longer, however, in spite of all the chemicals, eventually it still turns dark. That does not mean it is bad. Green is bad, but brown is good! That is when chefs, and those who know, buy the meat. At 21 to 28 days after slaughter a steak is as tender as if you got it at a high class steak restaurant. Sure, some, like Outback, cheat a bit and marinade in some rather strong stuff to make them tender and juicy, but the same can be accomplished by simply aging the meat about 3 weeks. The ideal time for steaks or roasts is when they are as dark as properly smoked salami. Because most people don't know about that and go for the fresh, bright red cuts, stores often mark the meat down when it gets darker. That's just fine by me. I'll gladly take the darkest steaks. If the meat feels dry, half an hour in a simple sea salt brine will juice it right up. DearWebby ____________________________________________________ >From Frank My Dad has a sure way to keep my Mom from buying an outfit... When she tries it on, he says, "I love that middle-aged look it gives you." | | Puzzlewood, Tolkiens inspiration for Middle Earth. |
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, December 14, in 1503 Physician, astrologer and clairvoyant Nostradamus was born at St. Remy, Provence, France. 1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and bolt machine. 1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his revolutionary Quantum Theory. 1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight. The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made, the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet. 1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott. 1918 For the first time in Britain women (over 30) voted in a General Election. 1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations. 1945 Josef Kramer, known as "the beast of Belsen," and 10 others were executed in Hamelin for the crimes they committed at the Belsen and Auschwitz Nazi concentration camps. 1946 The U.N. General Assembly voted to establish the United Nation's headquarters in New York City. 1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president. 1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and surface temperature. 1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police after holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train near the Dutch town of Beilen. 1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria in war in 1967. 1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian positions in Lebanon for the first time after American F-14 reconnaissance flights were fired on. 1985 Wilma Mankiller became the first Indian woman to lead a major American Indian tribe as she formally took office as principal chief of the Cherokee Nation of OKlahoma. 1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the first non-stop, non-refueled flight around the world. The trip took nine days to complete. 1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling several thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees had driven the vehicles with the odometer disconnected. 1988 CBS won the exclusive rights to major league baseball's 1990-94 seasons for $1.1 billion. 1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable went into service. 1990 After 30 years in exile, ANC president Oliver Tambo returned to South Africa. 1993 A judge in Colorado struck down the state's voter- approved Amendment Two prohibiting gay rights laws, calling it unconstitutional. 1993 The United Mine Workers approved a five-year contract that ended a strike that had reached seven states and involved some of the nation's biggest coal operators. 1995 The presidents of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, Croatia signed the Dayton Accords to end fighting in Bosnia. 1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone- marrow transplant from a baboon. 1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's upcoming visit to Cuba. 1998 Hundreds of Palestinian leaders renounced a call for the destruction of Israel. 1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2 billion fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers. 1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the "Peanuts" comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic strip was published on February 13, 2000. 2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope would be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian reasons. Pope had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after his conviction on espionage charges. 2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000 troops to join an international peacekeeping force in Afghanistan. 2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to Cuba began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent to replenish what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck on November 4. 2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first spacecraft to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only the third robotic rover to land on the moon. 2017 Do smiled. |
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