Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, August 2 Thank you Micki! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Maryland police charge aunt after 2 children were found dead in trunk during traffic stop ___________________________________________________ Today, August 2 in 1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. The US destroyers had been shelling Hanoi. ____________________________________________________ Who is more busy than he who hath least to do? --- John Clarke ____________________________________________________ A bunch of guys decided one morning that they would go deer hunting. So they all piled into the station wagon with their guns and took off down the road looking for a place to go hunting. After driving awhile they came across an old farm house with a large spread of woods behind it. One of the guys went to the door and asked the farmer if they could hunt in his woods. When asked, the farmer said "Yes, sure, but would you do me a favor? The ol' bull in the corall there beside the house is on his last legs and I know he is sufferin', would you kindly put him down for me? I don' have the heart to." As the hunter walked back to the station wagon, he decided to play a prank on his fellow hunters. So when he got back to the station wagon he pulled out his rifle and said "..I'll teach that old coot for not letting us hunt on his property!" and shot the old bull. After he fired the shot, he heard another shot and another one, and one of the other hunters proclaim, "Yea, we'll show him... I got the cow and the calf, too!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Linda went into the local bookstore and saw this big display with a sign saying "Newly Translated from the Original French: 37 Mating Positions." Noticing the books were already wrapped in plain brown paper, she just had to buy one. Once safely at home, she opened it and found that she had just purchased a very expensive book about chess. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicole Johnson, 33, Baltimore, Maryland, USA Maryland police charge aunt after 2 children were found dead in trunk during traffic stop Baltimore County police pulled over a woman for a traffic stop, and found the remains of two children in the trunk of the car. When police ran the drivers tags and learned they were fake, they told her the car would be towed. Thats when the officer smelled something awful and searched the car, WJZ reports. Nicole Johnson said she had been asked to take care of her niece and nephew for her sister, Dachelle Johnson, in 2019, the Daily Beast reports. Johnson told police she had been living with the kids in a hotel in May 2020 when she hit the girl, Joshlyn Johnson. Joshlyn, 7, fell, hit her head, and Johnson stuffed her in a suitcase and put her in a trunk. She said her nephew, Larry ONeil was injured two months later and never woke up, so she put him in a plastic tote and put him in the trunk, too. He was only 5. Police say the children appeared to have been underweight and malnourished, too. Joshlyn weighed 18 pounds and Larry weighed 21 pounds at autopsy. Dachelle Johnson said she had tried to pick up her kids in March but her sister never showed up. This truly was a devastating incidentone that not only shocked our community to its core, but significantly affected our patrol officers, forensic technicians, and detectives. DearWebby's tech support pits From: Sally Re: Ad Blockers DearWebby I did get an ad blocker after you gave us the link. However, lately more and more sites are whining about that and demand that I disable the ad blocker. Is there an ad blocker, that they don't catch? Sally Dear Sally No, there is not. They put an "ET phone home" bit into the ad. If ET does not phone home, then they know you have some kind of ad blocker. Luckily, for almost all sites that snivel and whine about ad blockers, there is a free site, that has the same, and often better content. Just search a bit and you will find them. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous." There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favorite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squashed up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door. The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you? | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself." ____________________________________________ Two old farmers were discussing how productive their bulls were. One farmer said he had a problem with his bull but the vet gave him some medicine and he was jumping on everything on the farm. The other farmer said his bull was not doing to well and asked what medicine the vet used so he could get some. The first farmer said he didn't know the name of the medicine but it tasted like chocolate. ____________________________________________ I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor. The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, youre the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wifes room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smiths wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 2, in 1776 Members of the Continental Congress began adding their signatures to the Declaration of Independence. 1791 Samuel Briggs and his son Samuel Briggs, Jr. received a joint patent for their nail-making machine. They were the first father-son pair to receive a patent. 1858 In Boston and New York City the first mailboxes were installed along streets. 1861 The United States Congress passed the first income tax. The revenues were intended for the war effort against the South. The tax was never enacted. 1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire. 1892 Charles A. Wheeler patented the first escalator. 1926 John Barrymore and Mary Astor starred in the first showing of the Vitaphone System. The system was the combining of picture and sound for movies. 1938 Bright yellow baseballs were used in a major league baseball game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the St. Louis Cardinals. It was hoped that the balls would be easier to see. 1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research program. 1939 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the Hatch Act. The act prohibited civil service employees from taking an active part in political campaigns. 1943 The U.S. Navy patrol torpedo boat, PT-109, sank after being attacked by a Japanese destroyer. The boat was under the command of Lt. John F. Kennedy. 1945 The Allied conference at Potsdam was concluded. 1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. The US destroyers had been shelling Hanoi. 1987 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" was re-released. The film was 50 years old at the time of its re-release. 1990 Iraq invaded the oil-rich country of Kuwait. Iraq claimed that Kuwait had driven down oil prices by exceeding production quotas set by OPEC. 1995 China ordered the expulsion of two U.S. Air Force officers. The two were said to have been caught spying on military sites. 2021 Do smiled. |
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