Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, December 11 Thanks to your kind help and my savings, I was able to buy an old Chevy Cobalt. It was not a choice, but it ran. Then I found out the tires leaked, so I brought it to OK-Tire. They showed me that the tires were shot and not worth fixing. Since the car was on their hoist and the wheels were of and the tires off the rims, I did not have a choice. The replacement cost me $880, courtesy of my Dire Emergency Credit Card. Christmas does not look good this year. If you have any excess coins weighing you down, please hit PayPl with them! | 1411If you like my work,
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 10, in 1882, Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was the first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Tanner Horner strangled 7-year-old after hitting her with his van _____________________________________________________ Q Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be. --- William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830) ____________________________________________________ Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open-air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. He replied, "Well, you see my wife and I married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. "Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk." __________________________________________________ Marketing 101 . . . Revised People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is: You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed," That's Telemarketing. You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed," That's Brand Recognition. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" . That's spam. You see two great looking brothers at a party. You decide to take them both home. That's a 2 for 1 sale. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and gropes your breast and grabs your bottom. That's Arnold Schwarzenegger. You like it, but 15 years later your attorney decides you were offended and files suit. That's America. __________________________________________________ An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Tanner Horner, WISE COUNTY, Texas, USA Tanner Horner strangled 7-year-old after hitting her with his van The disturbing details of 7-year-old Athena Strand's death came to light Thursday in a newly filed arrest affidavit for contracted FedEx delivery driver Tanner Horner. In a confession to investigators, Horner reportedly said he had finished delivering a package at Strand's home in Paradise. He said he was backing up his FedEx truck, when he accidentally hit Athena with the truck. Horner told investigators that Athena was alive, but was not seriously hurt at the time. He said she was talking to him, even telling him her name. The delivery driver said he panicked and put her into the van, according to court documents. Horner then attempted to break the 7-year-old's neck to kill her. When that didn't work, he strangled the girl in the back of the FedEx van. Wise County Sheriff Lane Akin told FOX News he plans to seek the death penalty for Strands murder. The delivery driver said he strangled the girl because he was afraid she was going to tell her father that he hit her with the van. Authorities say Horner then directed investigators to CR 4668 in Boyd, where he dumped her body in the water. The area is now marked with pink balloons, which is Strand's favorite color. Strand was found dead on Dec. 2, two days after she was reported missing from the home. ___________________________________________________ Ron Asp Snowy Owl ___________________________________________________ A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Wow doc, exactly what's my problem?" The doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Mr Jones, the science teacher, was a bit absent-minded. One day he brought a box into the classroom and said, "I've got a frog and a toad in here. When I get them out we'll look at the differences." He put his hand into the box and pulled out two sandwiches. "Oh dear!" he said. "I could have sworn I'd just had my lunch." ___________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ A generously endowed Miss HollyBelle often got teased by her friends and family about her bodacious breasts. At a recent house warming party fr some new tenants in the complex where he lives, a young man asked her what she would like to drink. "Diet soda, please," Holly replied. "Oh, you must be the double D." he said. Miss Holly was very much annoyed, wondering which of her so-called friends had divulged such personal information. "And just what do you mean by that?" Holly snapped. Surprised at her angry response, the young man very meekly answered, "Oh, you know -- the Designated Driver." _______________________________________________ This guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happened last night." His buddy says, "Well then, tell me what happened." The guy says, "Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch." She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?" So I said, "Of course, you can stay there," and shut the door." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ At a paternity trial, the lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?" "Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed. "And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?" the lawyer continued. "Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure he had a red Camaro." ________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ruth Re: Ad Blocker Dear Webby When the postcards weree still popular, you used to run ads. Nowadays you just have useful information. So it should be safe to ask you what is a good adblocker. I use Chrome. Thanks Ruth Dear Ruth Nowadays Adblock Plus seems to be a good choice. It installs into Chrome without hassle, blocks just about anything. One item I have trouble with, that is the OneSignal push video. It seems harmless, just a small video for illiterate slobs, who don't want to read a page. It hogs the right bottom area and blocks stuff, that you want to read. It is not an ordinary ad, but a "plug-in" that is playing stupid and difficult to remove. Regular ads, though, are blocked qute nicely. Once in a while some page will whine about adbloc-plus, but I usually don't need that page badly enough to make an exceeption for it. I COULD do that, but normally can't be bothered. So, for now I am happy with AdbockPlus. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia. They accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold. "We're from out-of-state," said the prospective groom. "Can we get a license?" The clerk replied, "No, not if you are fom-out-of state, but I can sell you a three-day permit." ____________________________________________________ Today, December 11 in 1282, Llywelyn (Llewelyn ap Gruffydd) was killed in Cilmeri, central Wales. 1719, The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took place in New England. 1769, Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 1792, France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent to the guillotine the following January. 1844, Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic. 1872, Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback became America's first black governor when he took office as acting governor of Louisiana. 1882, Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was the first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. 1894, The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine exhibitors. 1928, In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 1930, The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 1936, Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor. 1937, The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the League of Nations. 1941, Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries. 1943, The City Center of Music and Drama was dedicated in New York by Mayor Fiorello La Guardia. 1946, The United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund (UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly. The fund provides relief to children in countries devastated by war. 1961, The first direct American military support for South Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters arrived in Saigon. 1967, The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time in Toulouse, France. 1973, West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact where they had signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 1980, U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic waste dumps. 1981, Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight to Trevor Berbick. 1985, The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate by giving final congressional approval to the Gramm-Rudman deficit-reduction law. 1985, General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and Television. 1986, The government of South Africa expanded its media restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning coverage of a wide range of peaceful anti-apartheid protests. 1987, Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at Christie's for 82,500. 1988, 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons of illegal fireworks exploded. 1990, Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of marriage. 1991, Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.). 1994, Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore control of the breakaway republic. 1994, The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration known as "The Miami Process." 1996, In Crystal City, VA, "The Art of the Toy" opened. The exhibit was at the Patent and Trademark Office Museum. 1997, Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political ally of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He conferred with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. 1997, More than 270 Tutsi refugees from the Democratic Republic of Congo were killed by Juto guerillas in Mudende, Rwanda. 1997, More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse gases." 1998, Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 1998, The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine- month journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to convert English measures to metric values. 1998, Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton. 2000, Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that he would end his three-plus year retirement and become an active National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned officially he became the first owner/player in NHL history. 2001, U.S. Attorney General Ashcroft announced the first federal indictment directly related to the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Zacarias Moussaoui was charged with six conspiracy charges. Moussaoui was in custody at the time of the attacks. 2001, Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison ranches. 2001, It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia. 2001, Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence against an international software piracy ring. 2009, The game Angry Birds was released. 2013, Standard & Poors announced that Facebook would join its S&P 500 index "after the close of trading on December 20." 2022 Do smiled.
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