Dave Lorenzo's Rules for Maintaining Sanity and Self-Esteem Dear John,
The most significant challenge we all face is maintaining our self-esteem. In fact, more than anything else, poor self-esteem will hold you back - keep you and your business from growing.
Below are the rules I follow each day in order to establish and maintain healthy self-esteem.
How do you feel about yourself?
This question has profound relevance to EVERYTHING in life.
If you feel important, valuable and consequential, you'll behave in a way that is representative of those feelings. If however, you feel like you're "just getting by" and you need to justify every action to someone else, then you project that to the world.
Feeling good about yourself requires living in alignment with some guiding principles. Here are a few of mine:
Rule 1: In life and in business, you get what you accept. If someone treats you poorly, set him/her straight. If he/she does it again, extradite yourself from the relationship as quickly as possible. Never go back.
Rule 2: Be happy paying a premium for an upgraded/luxury experience. Sit in the front of the plane and ride in the back of the car. If you do not treat yourself well, you cannot expect others to do so. You're worth it.
Rule 3: Win the day. Some days you win big. Most days you win small. Put together lots of small daily wins and you have a great life. At the end of the day, look in the mirror. Are you happy with what you see? If you have done your best to legally, morally, and ethically achieve your goals, and you've made at least one person smile, it was a good day.
Rule 4: Shamelessly promote yourself. Alan Weiss, Author and my mentor, always says "If you don't blow your own horn, there is no music." He's right. You owe it to yourself to tell everyone about your unique ability. If you deprive the world of your talent.
Rule 5: Follow the DEGAS DOCTRINE: If anyone other than an expert gives you advice - Don't Even Give A Sh*t. Only accept advice if you solicit it, and only solicit advice from a qualified expert. Unsolicited advice is worthless.
Rule 5A: Accept the truth: If you ask for advice and what you receive is the truth, accept it and figure out how to deal with it. Your choices: 1). Change 2). Don't change and live with the consequences 3). Seek professional help with 1 and/or 2
Rule 5B: If you ask me for advice, don't project your anger onto me when I tell you the truth.
Rule 6: Before you speak, ask yourself these questions: 1). Is what I'm about to say true? 2). Is what I'm about to say helpful to the audience? 3). Is this the appropriate time and place to share this message? If the answer to any of those questions is "NO," keep your mouth shut.
Rule 7: Gratitude is a multiplier: When you express gratitude you multiply: 1). The number of great people in your life. 2). The amount of exceptional experiences you have. 3). The number of times people will help you get through a rough patch.
Rule 8: Surround yourself with people who make you think. This includes people who have differing points of view. You don't have to agree with everyone but understanding their point of view (or at least trying to understand how it was formed) is the key to empathy. Empathy is at the foundation of all relationships.
Rule 9: In business, never be afraid to ask for too much or offer too little. In your personal life, always give too much and ask for too little.
Rule 10: On appropriate personal contact: Business = eye contact, handshake, smile, and nod. Friends = eye contact, hug, smile. Kissing is only for intimate relationships. (Yes, even in Miami.) You receive a kiss from me if: 1). We have the same blood in our veins. 2). I've known you for 20 years or more 3). You know my ATM code.
Rule 11: You can always make more money, you cannot make more time. Always stay for coffee. Never rush a good conversation.
Rule 12: You'll regret staying mad. You'll regret holding a grudge. Let your anger go and make your best effort to patch things up. Then move on.
Rule 13: EVERYONE deserves a second chance. Third chances are conditional. Only my children receive unlimited Mulligans.
Rule 14: If something is important to you, and I don't understand it, explain it to me again. Understanding is critical to our relationship. Agreement is not.
Rule 15: Passive aggressive behavior must be challenged and will not be tolerated.
Rule 16: If I can afford to, I'd rather give you something than loan you something. A loan is obligation and obligations breed resentment.
Rule 17: Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Rule 18: Humans are UNDERrecognized. Celebrate someone each day. Make their day with your words or a gesture.
Rule 19: Be polite and professional to anyone trying to sell you something. That's somebody's child, brother, sister, mother, or father. They're trying to make a living. Say "No" if you want, but don't make it personal.
Rule 20: Nobody will ever know about some of the most consequential things you've done. Kindness and/or sacrifice that is anonymous strengthens your character.
These are my rules. You may or may not choose to adopt them but you should have an informal list of beliefs.
They are, just like life, a work in progress.
Warm regards,
Dave Lorenzo
Revenue Growth Expert
Toll Free: (888) 444-5150
Miami, FL: (786) 436-1986
Email: [email protected]
Website: DaveLorenzo.com
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