I haven't weighed myself in more than a decade, and I don't need to in order to tell you I gained weight during the pandemic. So did nearly half of American adults, which should help me feel less alone—but doesn't.
Mental-health experts have coined a term for what I'm experiencing: body grief. It means mourning, and eventually letting go of, our previous bodies—or those we envisioned ourselves one day having. This anguish typically revolves around a deep sense of loss, and can be triggered by weight gain due to factors like age, pregnancy, and mental or physical health challenges.
The experts I talked to shared a few ways to cope with body grief:
Lean into it. Sit with your discomfort, and acknowledge what you’re feeling and why. (For example: "I'm really sad that I don't fit into my favorite outfits anymore.") This might sound counterintuitive, but it helps the healing process. Consider the cost of maintaining your previous body. If catching a glimpse of an old photo of yourself ruins your day, rejigger your perspective. Maybe your arms were so toned, for example, because you were heavily restricting your diet, downing gross protein shakes, or spending a fortune on gym classes you hated. Diversify your social-media feeds. Unfollow social-media accounts focused on diet or “fitspo,” or others that make you feel bad about your body. Then, populate your feed with accounts that are inclusive of all body types, especially those similar to your own. Doing so will help normalize your shape while delivering a sense of belonging.
"If you're feeling disconnected or lonely, don't look for a best friend. Look for a few regular points of contact every week and then genuinely, over time, seek out ways to get to know them."
—Constance Hadley, organizational psychologist and lecturer at the Boston University Questrom School of Business
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Today's newsletter was written by Angela Haupt and Jamie Ducharme, and edited by Mandy Oaklander.