Healthy Barriers | by Madisyn Taylor As relationships evolve, lives gradually become entwined. We tend to have a great deal in common with the people who attract us, and our regard for them compels us to trust their judgment. While our lives may seem to run together so smoothly that the line dividing them cannot be seen, we remain separate beings. To disregard these barriers is to sacrifice independence. It is our respect for the fact that our lives exist independently of the lives of others that allows us to set emotional and physical boundaries, to explore our interests and capabilities even when people close to us do not understand our partialities, and to agree to disagree. Maintaining healthy barriers is a matter of recognizing the point at which our principles and those of our loved ones and peers no longer overlap. Human beings must relentlessly fight the temptation to follow the crowd. Naturally, we want to be liked, accepted, and admired, and it often seems that the easiest way to win approval is to ally ourselves with others. When we assume that our standards are the same as those of the people close to us without first examining our own intentions, we do ourselves a disservice. The barriers that exist between us are a reminder that our paths in life will be unique, and we must each accept that "I" and "we" can coexist peacefully. Our reactions, our likes and dislikes, our loves, our goals, and our dreams may or may not align with those of others, but we should neither ask others to embrace what we hold dear nor feel compelled to embrace what they hold dear. As you learn to define yourself as an emotionally and intellectually distinct individual, you will grow to appreciate your autonomy. However much you enjoy the associations that bind you to others and provide you with a sense of identity, your concept of self will ultimately originate in your own soul. The healthy barriers that tell you where you end and the people around you begin will give you the freedom to pursue your development apart from those whose approval you might otherwise be tempted to seek out. Others will continue to play a role in your existence, but their values will not direct its course, and the relationships you share will remain marvelously balanced and harmonious as a result. | DailyOM Course Spotlight by Rhonda Findling In this course, internationally acclaimed author and psychotherapist Rhonda Findling will empower you by giving you the strength to let go of emotionally unhealthy relationships. You will learn how to stop obsessing or ruminating about partners that are not reciprocating your level of interest or are emotionally unavailable. Rhonda will give you tools to help you stop acting desperate or needy. You will learn why you compulsively contact partners though you know these behaviors are not in your best interest. This course will help you to stop acting desperate with people that you like, stop checking up on your ex, sit back and wait rather than being the pursuer, and increase your self-confidence- by not chasing others around. Learn to be more independent when it comes to relationships, learn to give another the space to long for you, learn how to sit on your impulses. Each lesson provides transformational writing exercises that will help you process your feelings. Rhonda offers audio advice as well as meditations to help you fully step out of emotionally unhealthy relationships. Top 10 DailyOM Courses 1. Intimacy Without Responsibility 2. Fit and Fierce Over 40 3. Overcoming Body Stiffness 4. Chair Yoga for Healing, Strength and Mobility 5. Master the Path of the Peaceful Warrior 6. 15 Minute Yoga for Aches and Pains 7. From Codependent to Independent 8. 21 Day Tabata Yoga Body Challenge 9. 7 Day Raw Cleanse 10. A Year to Clear What is Holding You Back!
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