April 1, 2022 • View in browser
Good morning. ⛅ Today, a crypto option for those who think blockchain is “too square” is unveiled, a group of museum-goers started a petition to change the name of artist Édouard Manet because it’s too easily confused with Monet, and health officials have warned New Yorkers about a second and imminent wave of Immersive van Gogh exhibitions.
And stay tuned next week, when we will be announcing our new partnership with Tesla to introduce a “Take Me to Art” button in all new vehicles that will automatically drive car owners to the closest museum.
— Hrag Vartanian, editor-in-chief
Health Officials Warn of “Second Wave” of Immersive Van Gogh Exhibitions in NYC
New Yorkers are advised to monitor for symptoms, which include Instagram Reels, the flattening of an artist’s legacy, and an intense desire to watch Netflix’s Emily in Paris. | Alexandra Bowditch
The resurgence of immersive Vincent van Gogh exhibitions, predicted weeks ago by health officials, might be upon New Yorkers sooner than they think. The number of new exhibitions has doubled daily over the past five days, reaching a rate not seen in the city since the spring of 2021.
ARTISTS & COLLECTORS
Marina Abramovic Falls Asleep During Restaging of “The Artist is Present”
Attendants first thought the snooze was part of the performance, until they heard the artist audibly snore. | Jasmine Liu
Mega-Collector Reveals He Doesn’t Care About Art But Loves the Attention
“I don’t really like to buy anything that’s less than $10 million,” the collector said. “It just doesn’t elicit the validation I crave.” | Sarah Rose Sharp
MUSEUM SHIFTS
Petition to Change Manet’s Name; “Too Similar to Monet”
A poll showed that 83% of Musée d’Orsay visitors think the two French artists are the same person. | Valentina Di Liscia
100% Rich and White Museum Leadership Announce They Have Successfully Combated Racism
“We did it, we really did it,” said Chad Whitley-McGovern, chair of the museum’s board. | Sarah Rose Sharp
IN THE CRYPTOSPHERE
Only 3.7% of All Things in the World Haven’t Been NFT’d, Study Says
The study is a devastating blow to artists who were hoping to finally make income from their art, but the real victims are obviously the collectors. | Sarah Rose Sharp
Say Hello to Spherechain, the “Blockchain Killer”
A new crypto option for those who think the blockchain is too square. | Valentina Di Liscia
A Shirtless Hunter Biden Spotted Selling NFTs on Venice Beach
The president’s son’s wares include SpongeBob Squarepants memes, printed on paper at a local Kinko’s. | Sarah Rose Sharp
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IN OUR STORE
Our Mutt Dog Bowl
Celebrate April Fool’s with one of the most famous jokes in art history! The Our Mutt Dog Bowl tips its hat to Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain” by transforming his readymade into a functional and unique water bowl for pets. Now in two adorable sizes.
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TRANSITIONS
Anish Kapoor announced that his last tube of “Vantablack” was swiped by A Pigeon in Central Park, who promptly assumed all legal rights to the blackest-black pigmentation.
TikToker, dancer, and media personality Charli D’Amelio was appointed New York City’s Cultural Affairs Co-Commissioner by Mayor Eric Adams, who astutely observed, “She does it all!”
Kaws is now represented by Mattel.
The Museum of Modern Art announced they are in talks with the NYPD to replace front-line workers with armed police officers.
The International Council of Museums has sent a letter to museums around the world specifying that any museum that exhibits an artwork based on the infamous “slap” at this year’s Oscars will be banned from future meetings.
AWARDS & ACCOLADES
A Karen was formally commended by the American Museums Association for three solid decades of shushing fellow museum-goers with astounding hostility.
The British Museum won the inaugural Medal for Not Repatriating — Er, for Preserving Global Heritage Artifacts, as announced verbatim by none other than the Queen herself (yes, haters, she’s still alive)
