Major League Soccer enjoyed a fruitful, blockbuster summer, what with Lionel Messi taking his talents to South Beach (Fort Lauderdale actually), and dazzling the USA USA USA with his all-conquering brand of standstill football. Sadly, the party will not extend to the fall/autumn. Inter Miami did not reach the playoffs, so neither did Messi, now rumoured to be heading for the type of European loan David Beckham, Miami’s chief designer suit, once annoyed Landon Donovan with, as depicted in Becks’ hit Behind the Music series on Netflix. Further names will miss the race for the MLS Cup. Lorenzo Insigne’s Toronto FC missed out. Billy Sharp’s LA Galaxy won’t be involved and on Saturday, it was confirmed that DC United’s playoff hopes had ended.

“We are grateful to Wayne Rooney for all he has done for our club and for soccer in the Nation’s Capital,” tooted DC chief suit Jason Levien, confirming the Do One door beckoned for Coach Wazza. “I feel it’s the right time for me to go back to England. What lies ahead, I don’t know,” sobbed Rooney himself. Back to England, to the bosom of his family, Wayne had free time to work on his short game at the local golf club, maybe sink a couple of pints of Robbies down at the Admiral Rodney, the homely drinker he once admitted he had thought was called the “Admiral Rooney”. But another game was afoot. The first clues came via the Instaspace activity of son and heir Kai following Birmingham City pair Gary Gardner and Neil Etheridge, along with the club’s Community Trust.

Then came the unceremonious removal of John Eustace, the previously highly-thought-of Blues manager, with the team being in the actual playoff spots and not struggling against relegation for once. Huh? A different Atlantic crossing provides much of the answer. You might recall Tom Brady, the winningest NFL QB in all-time history, becoming minority owner and chairman of Blues’ new advisory board, being hailed for being “a respected leader in nutrition, health, wellness and recovery” who would work alongside Tom Wagner, the American financier club chairman.

Though perhaps you missed former Manchester City suit Garry Cook washing up as Blues CEO, the thrusting exec who accused Milan of “bottling it” when they turned down £100m of Abu Dhabi loot for Kaká in January 2009. Perhaps he was right about that one all along. Close links to the former England goal-getter’s Mr 15% Paul Stretford have left Rooney top of the Cook contacts book and now a manager whose previous Championship experience extends to failing to stop getting a points-knacked Derby relegated is set to be unveiled at St Andrews. “Creating a winning culture in an organisation that has been on its back foot for a number of years is not easy,” roared Cook, showing that a decade in UFC and his recent fluffing of the Saudi Pro League has not deadened his way with words. “[The owners] are to help make Birmingham City a football powerhouse.” Eustace meanwhile need not empty his wardrobe of blue items quite yet; he’s one of the names linked with the Rangers ever-so-hot seat.

“Our country is not embraced by world countries, but if we present ourselves nicely, people will be more sensitive towards our economy. Our country needs this for publicity” – Omer Ozturk, a 53-year-old textile worker in Ankara, celebrates the news that Euro 2032 is heading to Turkey (and Italy).

Wayne Rooney is looking more and more like his groundskeeping, camper van-living, ‘England in Roo-ins’ Nike Write the Future 2010 World Cup commercial future self with each passing day, isn’t he? Are we approaching some sort of terminal singularity where future fictional Wayne intersects with current reality Wayne and an uber-Rooney emerges to lead Birmingham to glory? Probably not, but a man can dream” – Daniel Stauss.

Re: yesterday’s Quote of the Day. Maybe Puma could ask Mary Earps to share her feelings regarding the ‘speed to market’ of the Milan/Giroud goalkeeping kit, as opposed to the England Nike one?” – Mark Jones.

“Re: your article suggesting that, eight games in, we might have a title race after Manchester City ‘romped’ to five titles out of the last six (yesterday’s Football Daily). I should point out that City won two of those by one point and one in literally the last 10 minutes of the season. As a Liverpool fan, it still hurts” – Alan Pennington.

Send your letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Daniel Stauss.

Born into a different era, Eden Hazard would have been regarded at one time as the world’s best. Now, aged 32, the Belgian has retired from professional football, just a few months after his release from Real Madrid. Before his €150m transfer from Chelsea, Prime Hazard was inevitable, an impossible juxtaposition of agility, finesse and low-centred physicality. After spearheading Belgium’s golden generation and title wins for both Lille and Chelsea, Hazard failed to shine in Madrid but his departure still feels premature. “You must listen to yourself and say stop at the right time,” he reasoned. “After 16 years and more than 700 matches played, I have decided to end my career. I was able to realise my dream.”

“You expect it to be a ‘no’ and then when he says ‘yes’ it’s a huge surprise and then you’re massively grateful straight away. Once we’d got that away kit, the money was sent over, we paid for it all, ordered it all, got it delivered, we’d asked him then if he would be happy to go for tracksuits for the team as well, which again he agreed [to]” – Richie Brown, coach of Rumney AFC’s under-14s girls team in Cardiff, on how he got 50 Cent on board as a kit sponsor.

Football authorities are under pressure to commemorate the victims of the Hamas attacks in Israel, with the UK government considering plans for a minute’s silence at games. Meanwhile the Palestine team have withdrawn from a tournament in Malaysia as a result of the escalating conflict. They had been scheduled to take part in the Merdeka Cup, an international tournament, but the Malaysian FA said “they could not fly to Kuala Lumpur due to the tense situation in the country”.

The widely trailed news that the UK and Ireland will host Euro 2028 has been confirmed by Uefa suits. The 10 venues (of which only eight are already built) include six in England and one each in Scotland, Wales, the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. And despite not needing to qualify, England want to go through the process anyway, the show-offs.

In other you-could-see-it-coming news, Bakayo Saka has been ruled out of England’s friendly against the flamin’ Socceroos, and the subsequent Euros qualifier with Italy, after a 100-mile schlep to St George’s Park to get his hamstring-twang looked at by FA doctors. “It was decided that the player would continue his rehabilitation at his club,” blabbed an FA suit.

Johan Lange has stepped in to the shoes taken off by Fabio Paritici, overseeing recruitment as Tottenham’s new top, top, technical director. Lange arrives from Aston Villa, and “has demonstrated an excellent track record of scouting and signing many talented and successful youth and senior players”, according to Spurs’ chief scout, Scott Munn.

And the rise of the Saudi Pro League is making people realise that – and you’ll never believe this, but – “football is becoming too much about money”, according to the European Club Association. “Those of us in smaller clubs, smaller leagues, we’ve been saying this for a while,” sighed vice-chair Dariusz Mioduski, of Legia Warsaw. “This is a real issue in European football that there is such a concentration of money in a few leagues, particularly the Premier League, but not only there.”

It’s David Squires on … football ambassadors uniting the world in 2030 and 2034.

Barney Ronay on why a mute response to war exposes football’s complex relationship with geopolitics.

“I don’t know if Jude Bellingham is the best player in the world right now. But he’s undeniably the most evocative and joyful. At which point, with sighs, Bellingham must now peel off his superhero suit, slip on a blue training top and start playing sideways passes to Harry Maguire.” Jonathan Liew on an untimely international break for Madrid’s new superstar.

Fancy asking a real-life footballer a question? Well, go on then! Arsenal’s Jen Beattie is waiting.

Ben Fisher unpicks why Birmingham City would get rid of the man that got them there, John Eustace, and replace him with Wayne Rooney. Speaking of which, here’s Graham Ruthven with the MLS-facing view.

Prize money, increasing crowds and a rare chance to reach Wembley. Will Unwin on a renaissance (of sorts) for the Auto Windscreens, LDV Vans, Johnstone’s Paint, Checkatrade, Papa Johns EFL Trophy.

And Joey Lynch sets the scene for the new A-League Women season.

August 1935 and the final touches are put to the construction of Norwich’s new ground at Carrow Road, which locals dubbed “the eighth wonder of the world”.