Petty. Immature. Hilarious. Call it what you like, Alianza Lima produced a glorious segment for our Fun and Games in South America department after losing out to Universitario for the Peruvian league title on Wednesday night. Following a 1-1 draw away in the first leg against their city rivals, Alianza were confident of clinching glory in the return game as the clásico title playoff concluded. But goals from Edison Flores and Horacio Calcaterra would ultimately consign them to a 3-1 aggregate defeat.

Handshakes all round at the final whistle, then, and a guard of honour for the newly-crowned champions if the hosts were feeling generous? A crate of lager and a few stories from the season shared together in the changing room? Tremendously, not a bit of it. The moment the referee blew the final whistle, sparking celebrations among the Universitario players after sealing the club’s first title since 2013, the stadium was plunged into darkness. Not quite complete darkness: the LED advertising boards, displaying a Peruvian non-profit educational organisation, were still shining brightly, but still. Unexpectedly decent reach for their marketing today, mind.

Anyway, if Alianza’s intention was to deny their foes the limelight in their moment of glory, it has backfired in the most spectacular way. Social media abomination Twixxer sent clips properly viral just like the good old pre-Elon days, and there are millions of people who had barely heard of Universitario now aware of their success, while also tipping a hat in the direction of Alianza’s sh1thousery levels. It wasn’t all plain sailing in the Peruvian capital, however, with clashes in the aftermath between rival fans.

Unsavoury scenes aside, though, the lights incident remains a very funny moment. The question remains: was it premeditated or an instinctive act of petulance by the person with access to the Matute’s fusebox? A communication from Liga 1 claimed that due to the “power outage” it was agreed for safety reasons to cancel the post-match presentation ceremony. Those festivities have been moved to Sunday afternoon and will now take place at Estadio Monumental, the home of Universitario. So not only have the new champions enjoyed this title at their bitter rivals, they also get to lift the trophy in their own stadium and prolong the title party until the weekend at the earliest. ¡Salud!

Join Scott Murray and Niall McVeigh from 5.45pm GMT for hot Big Vase clockwatch coverage, taking in Ajax 2-2 Brighton, Toulouse 0-2 Liverpool, West Ham 1-1 Olympiakos and Rangers 1-2 Sparta Prague.

“It’s clear: we are very disappointed, we started the game so well – the best 10 minutes of the season – we are winning the game and the red card changes everything. We [then] concede two goals before half-time which should never count … I’m very disappointed about such decisions. The game is never meant to be like this – this has nothing to do with football” – Erik ten Hag gets some complaints about ref Donatas Rumsas and the VAR off his chest after Manchester United’s wild 4-3 Big Cup defeat at Copenhagen left them bottom of their group.

Was a pity to see John Lawton unrewarded for his ‘occasional’ gag (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). I’ve seen nine other missives recently with clever wordplay, any of which could have won a prize, but sadly no pun in 10 did” – Brandon Stockwell.

In defence of Andrew Kluth (Football Daily letters passim), his objection was not (as Ken Muir, yesterday’s letters, thinks) to the idea that Glenn Hoddle and his wife could be photographed standing in front of a back-garden swimming pool. His objection was surely to the idea that they could pose simultaneously: a) in front of their fancy detached house; and b) in front of their back-garden pool. Consider the underlying mise-en-scène, which necessarily involves the photographer facing the front of the house, with the pool on the other side of the house from the photographer. Quantum superposition would indeed be required for the Hoddles to pose ‘in front of their fancy detached house and back-garden pool’, since they would need to be simultaneously: a) between the photographer and the house; and b) between the house and the pool” – Stephen Pearson.

Losing managers, pre-VAR: all the referee’s fault. Losing managers, post-VAR: all the referees’ faults” – Darren Leathley.

John Myles (Tuesday’s letters) may be interested to learn that this year’s Origami World Championship will be shown on ‘paper-view television’. I know because I came runner-up last year. I should have won really but folded under pressure” – Elaine Shaw.

Send your letters to [email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Darren Leathley, who gets a copy of Tinseltown: Hollywood and the Beautiful Game – a match made in Wrexham. You can buy a copy here.

Real Sociedad will take legal action against Benfica fans after flares were thrown on to home supporters during their Big Cup clash. “If these delinquents have to go to jail, they will go,” sniffed the Spaniards’ president Jokin Aperribay.

Arsenal are closing in on the last 16, having seen off Sevilla 2-0. Already there are Bayern Munich, who beat Galatasaray 2-1 courtesy of two late Harry Kane goals. “He’s a phenomenon and we’re proud that he’s playing for us in the team,” whooped Bayern’s captain Manuel Neuer.

The rescheduled Ligue 1 match between Marseille and Lyon, postponed due to an attack on the Lyon team bus which left manager Fabio Grosso bleeding, will be played at the Stade Vélodrome after all. “[We are] deeply shocked by the decision of the disciplinary committee to declare itself incompetent to deal with the extremely serious incidents that severely hampered the arrival of its professional squad,” fumed a Lyon statement.

Olympiakos have warned fans travelling to their Big Vase tie at West Ham against bringing weapons, ammunition, drones, booze … or their pets – among other things – on a comprehensive 25-point list.

Former Portugal coach Fernando Santos says he’s not spoken to Cristiano Ronaldo since the end of the Human Rights World Cup after dropping the striker for tactical reasons. “These matters are resolved behind closed doors,” he cheered.

The prize fund for this season’s Women’s FA Cup has been doubled to £6m.

Jonas Eidevall reckons Gareth Taylor’s allegation of him bullying the fourth official during the WSL match between Manchester City and Arsenal is “borderline to slander”, but won’t be turning it into a legal situation. “I have no intention of getting more of my energy than needed,” he sighed. “But I do really think it is unacceptable to say things about fellow colleagues that is not true.”

And just to remind you that there’s another international fortnight ahoy, Gareth Southgate has opted not to call up Raheem Sterling, Anthony Gordon or Reece James for England’s final Euro 2024 qualifiers. “We’re playing exceptionally well and who can I leave out?” tooted Southgate.

Maccabi Haifa will make a painful return to the pitch against Villarreal on Thursday night. Jacob Steinberg joins them in Larnaca to explain how the attacks of 7 October have impacted the players and what it has meant for the squad’s religious diversity.

Having lost her sister on the eve of Euro 2022, the England manager, Sarina Wiegman, recalls how she coped at Wembley and beyond.

As the player who spent his prime years on the pitch between Mohamed Salah and Sadio Mané, Roberto Firmino shares all on the competitiveness between the two, and his role as the peacemaker.

Serhou Guirassy’s record-breaking form for Stuttgart has earned him a first African player of the year nomination … and this chinwag with Ed Aarons.

Gio Reyna is at the heart of a Dortmund side that is fighting to redefine itself after the exuberance and hype of the Jürgen Klopp years, writes Andy Brassell.

And John Brewin kicks off our new series grading all the Big Cup teams.

Soap up for a trip to September 1934 and the Craven Cottage baths, where members of the Fulham team take a well-earned dip in the foam.